Nuggets of Wisdom

Friday, January 23, 2015

Daily Pony: Mah Dirt!

Mah Dirt! by kittyhawk-contrail on DeviantArt

Hey look, Rarity is getting Apple Jack all wet. (Get your mind out of the gutter, shippers!)

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

The SOTU Is Stupid And You Know It!


If you’ve followed me for a long time, you should know by now that I don’t give a flying buck about the presidential State Of The Union address. Not one bit. It’s nothing more than a preening politician pontificating pretentious platitudes to prompt praise from pandering plebs.

If anyone is honest with themselves, they would admit that they share the exact same opinion. Gawker’s Alex Pareene has in his recent column “The State of the Union Is Dumb Hacks Writing Garbage Speeches.” I recommend you all give it a read. It puts to words what I and pretty much everyone else sincerely believes about this annual charade. But here’s the main gist:
I am not arguing that any untrained schmo off the street could write a State of the Union address. Modern political speechwriting is certainly a skill, and one that requires experience and practice to master. It is not, however, a literary endeavor. It is marketing, and not even particularly imaginative marketing. Advertising people who call themselves "creatives" do more actual creative work than political speechwriters. Do the people who write statements of risk for pharmaceutical ads walk around swishing single malt in tumblers and comparing themselves to The Lost Generation? (Well, they probably do, but they are wrong.)

Political speechwriting is an exercise in the proper arrangement of cliches and platitudes, with a bit of "messaging" of policy ideas to appeal to as wide an audience as possible. Speeches like the one the president will deliver tonight are designed to deliver pleasant inanities (The State of the Union is Strong) and sell certain carefully audience-tested proposals as vaguely (or misleadingly) as possible. The State of the Union is less written than it is designed, structured and organized around applause prompts and camera cues.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Smash Rap

What do you get when you combine Epic Rap Battles with Super Smash Brothers? Smosh’s new video! (Warning: NSFW because Smosh!)

Yikes! The Villager is going to be giving me nightmares tonight.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Daily Pony: Did Disney Help Influence MLP?

The ever astute Dr. Wolf brilliantly observes how Disney, specifically Fantasia, may have helped inspire (albeit indirectly) the My Little Pony franchise.

Wow! I mean, how could we have missed this? The similarities were so blatantly obvious they were smacking us in the face with rainbows—and yet, shockingly enough, most of us never noticed.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

MLP:FIM: The Dark Stallion - Episode 08

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic presents

The Dark Stallion

Episode 08: To The Grand Galloping Gala, Night Of Wonder!


Last time on My Little Pony:

After much study and research, Xander finally discovered the location of the Amulet of Purity. At first, he refused the assistance of Twilight and the others, but later reluctantly accepted their help after they saved his life. Together, they scaled Union Tower, braving the trials of fire, ice, and water, until they reached the top. Through the magic of the Elements of Harmony, they uncovered and obtained the fabled amulet. The Shadow Clan later appeared to seize the amulet for themselves, but were defeated by the combined strength of our heroes. However, this does not appear to be the Shadow Clan’s last stand. Will the Shadow Clan strike again to claim the amulet and its hidden powers?


Twilight Sparkle, with Spike riding on her back, rushed through the doors of Sugarcube Corner where the rest of her friends were hanging out.

“Girls, great news!”

The other ponies turned their attention to her.

Rarity finished taking a sip of her tea. “What is it, dear?”

“A letter from Princess Celestia," Twilight replied upon approaching them.

Spike pulled from behind his back a scroll with a royal seal upon it. He promptly unfurled it, and, with a clear of his throat, began to read.

“Hear ye, hear ye! The royal princesses Celestia and Luna of Equestria cordially extend an invitation to Twilight Sparkle and her friends to the Grand Galloping Gala, to be held in the capital city of Canterlot by week’s end.”

Most other ponies would have been flipping somersaults upon receiving such an announcement. Not so Twilight and her friends. They might as well have received an invitation to a dentist appointment.

Applejack scratched her chin. “Golly, has it been a year already?”

“Seems like the Grand Galloping Gala was only yesterday,” Pinkie Pie added.

Rarity groaned. “Don’t remind me. That was a disaster most of us would rather forget!”


Friday, January 16, 2015

Statist And Anarchist: Strawmen

Whenever I share my comics in the political humor subreddit, aside from getting down-voted, they’re often accused of being unfunny, biased political strawmen. Thing is, most of the previous political cartoons here have been featured in the same subreddit, and yet, none of them are down-voted or blasted as being unfunny, biased political strawmen—despite being unfunny, biased political strawmen! (Probably because that subreddit wouldn't know humor if zombie George Carlin slapped them in the face with his dick!)

So to anyone who wants to argue that my political comics are full of biased strawmen, by all means, first explain to me why none of these cartoons featured here are any less biased or strawman-ish.

Click here to read the rest of the comic.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Channel Awesome Loses (And Screws) Reviewers

For those of you who watch Nostalgia Critic on Channel Awesome, you’ve probably learned that the site has recently parted ways with reviewers like Phelous, Obscurus Lupa, Oancitizen, and Andrew Dickman. (Oh, and Nostalgia Chick also left, but I couldn’t care less about that feminazi SJW! She stopped being good long ago.)

If you want to learn why these reviewers left, both Phelous and Lupa explain in detail on their blogs. TL;DR: Lupa has been struggling with money, so she wanted to add midrolls to her videos and advertise her Pateron account; but the big wigs on the site wouldn’t allow her—and after giving her a hard time about it, to the point of screams and tears, they gave her the boot with her friends following suit.

So yeah, despite all of the entertaining content, the site is being run by Grade-A plotholes, as Lupa explains:
The site has had many, MANY behind the scenes issues, and ANYONE who has said anything has been labeled a troublemaker. Also, anyone who has said anything is gone now. It is a site fueled by yes men and denial, and many broken promises. They’ve referred to the other producers as “children” on more than one occasion, which is as patronizing as it sounds. The site has ALWAYS been about Doug, and they don’t care about anyone else there.
It’s really disheartening to see a website that I literally watch like a television channel screw over its content providers like this. Them getting rid of Spoony was understandable, but this? This is simply heartless. In fact, I was so disgusted by how poorly Lupa was treated that I almost refused to watch the latest Nostalgia Critic review. (I say “almost” because I ended up watching it anyway!)

Anywho, my sympathy is out to Lupa and company. Here’s hoping they continue their good work elsewhere, and I really hope Channel Awesome straightens up their act. Seriously, with so many reviewers gone, aside from NC, the only other reviewers worth watching are Linkara and Cinema Snob (and perhaps the occasional Todd in the Shadows or Paw).

"You Don’t Solve Substance Abuse Issues By Banning The Substance"

If you’re not watching CuteFuzzyWeasel, you should subscribe to his channel. His “Feeding The Trolls” videos do a good job pwning n00bs on teh interwebs. His most recent video excellently pwns a puritan prick who believes we should bring back alcohol prohibition because, well, he couldn't stop drinking until his liver failed; therefore, no one can stop drinking until their livers failed—oh, and because banning booze worked out so well the first time, amirite?!

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

My Libertarian Proposal For "Free" College


By now, most of you are aware of Obama’s plan to offer free community college. And by now, most of you have heard every opinion under the sun about it.

I’ve been reluctant to offer my own opinion for two reasons: one, most other reasonable voices such as Reason Magazine and Julie Borowski have already explained why this plan, while nice sounding, is actually terrible; and two, even if I were to offer my opinion as to why this terrible plan is terrible, the only people who would agree that it is a terrible plan are people who already know that it is terrible, because people who don’t think it’s terrible don’t care if it’s terrible.

This is why I envy “liberals”: their political platform is simply promising free stuff. They don't have to explain how they're going to provide free stuff. They just have to promise it and the sheeple will gladly vote for them. Because, hey, who doesn’t want free stuff? Who doesn’t want something for nothing? If you don't, why are you so greedy and selfish?


So it seems as though “free college” is going to be part of the nation’s political narrative—and if we’re going to insist on providing “free college”, I might as well offer my own alternative, more libertarian proposal as to how to best provide it.

I propose we go with the “Pay-It-Forward” model that states such as Oregon and Michigan have proposed. Basically, you attend the college of your choice for all four years, tuition free; then, once you graduate, you have a portion of your income taxed to allow other students to do the same.

Is it still funded by taxes? Yes. But at least the people being taxed are those who’ve already directly benefited from the program. Really, it’s more “voluntary” than socialized—like a student loan, only with less blood-draining.

I know my fellow libertarians and conservatives will still have hang-ups about this proposal of mine, but at least it’s a fairer, more libertarian, voluntary approach than whatever liberals like Obama would propose. And really, if more libertarians ran on this platform, they very well could capture the young vote. Pretty much every young person wants to go to college, but they don’t want to pay for it—especially if it means being buried alive in student debt.

But I want to know what you all think: would the “pay-it-forward” model be a better approach for “free” college, or is it still a terrible idea?

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Sunday Funnies (01/11/2015)

Need a good laugh? We all do. So here’s your weekly compilation of political cartoons. And we most certainly need a good laugh following the tragic death of 12 French citizens, including journalists whose only crime was poking fun at barbarism. Well, the barbarians certainly proved that they weren’t the least bit barbaric by brutally murdering the cartoonist in a barbaric manner. But the only thing this barbaric act of barbarism proved is that humorists may be killed, but humor will never die, and in a world of such savagery, the only weapon you need to survive is not a gun, not a sword, but a pen.


Click Here to read the rest of the comics.