Nuggets of Wisdom

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Left-Wing Blogger Loses Lunch Over Hymn

I don’t know why I even bother visiting blogs like Let Freedom Rain. I guess I must be a masochist.

I wouldn’t suggest anyone visit Let Freedom Rain, unless they enjoy reading poorly-written posts riddled with spelling and grammatical errors and drowning in liberal lunacy.

But I wish to comment on a post made about a month ago. In the post Jesus Loves Me, the blogger laments about how his mother’s death forced him to go to church. (Oh the humanity!).

I don't go to church for obvious reasons. Number one: I'm not a moron.

This man shouldn’t be quick to boast “I’m not a moron” when the horrendous spelling and grammar in his post and blog proves otherwise.

But my mother's funeral brought me to such a horrible place. The preacher, minister, padre, priest - whatever you call the bitch at the podium - intoned some miserable s*** about my mother and sang loudly off-tune three hymns. His nostrils flared at the appropriate time, probably just like he does when he's s***ing off some choir boy. My stomach turned several angles until it knotted like a fist and I wanted to bolt. But I stayed through the whole wretched sermon out of respect for my mom and three sisters.

Someone should play the world’s tiniest violin. This guy deserves it, since the inconvenient death of his mother forced him—for this one and only time of his life—to attend a church.

And isn’t it funny how atheists assume that all priests are child molesters? Several isolated incidents of child molestation  occur in the Catholic church in the early 2000s, and suddenly, all religious leaders are pedophiles.

It wasn't until he introduced the infantile "She Loves You" - oops, I mean "Jesus Loves Me" - that I really blew my lunch, which I hadn't eaten yet (it was only 11 o'clock) but did anyway shortly thereafter in the funeral home bathroom.

He ate lunch in the funeral home bathroom? That must have been a horrible experience!

Oh, I’m sorry: I think what he meant to say is that he lost his lunch in the funeral home bathroom. Sorry. Bad grammar caught me off-guard.

But seriously, if you throw up because someone sings “Jesus Loves Me,” you must be one of two things: possessed, or degenerate. (I’d actually like to go with the former! LOL!).

Anyway, back to church. This gowned c********* stood there in his white and blacks and relayed some story about some famous ass**** who on his deathbed whispered his last words, supposedly famously, "Jesus loves me. This I know. For the bible tells me so".

What a f***ing idiot. Rest in peace, ass****.

From this post alone, I have learned that this blogger assumes all Christians are idiots, all ministers are child molesters, and hymns like “Jesus Loves Me” are vomit-inducing.

And religious people are bigoted?

Life must be a sad existence for this man. To live life paranoid thinking everyone other than yourself is an idiot, that religion (along with the corporations) is out to get you, and that a song like “Jesus Loves Me” may make you vomit is a sad way to live life.