Nuggets of Wisdom

Monday, November 1, 2010

You Might Be A Liberal If You…

You Might Be A Liberal If You…

…think the government can spend its way out of debt.

…believe we need to fight big business with big government.

…claim not to be a socialist, but still want the government to regulate the economy.

…defend Obama by arguing “you only hate him because he’s black!”

…criticize people who call Obama “Hitler,” yet had no problem calling Bush “Hitler.”

…worship wealthy celebrities who preach redistribution of wealth.

…think Janeane Garofalo is as intelligent as she is attractive (on second thought, that’s an accurate analogy).

…think Fox News is biased because Keith Olbermann told you it was.

…threw out your radio when Air America went off the air.

…think Sarah Palin is the devil incarnate.

…label every conservative as a fascist, yet possess no understanding of fascism.

…think Bush was the dumbest president ever, yet was smart enough to orchestrate the largest inside job that is allegedly 9/11.

…think the bureaucrats who run the Department of Motor Vehicles or post office are qualified to run our healthcare system.

…believe our healthcare system needs to emulate Great Britain’s (where hospitals flip the bed sheets over to save money) or Canada’s (where doctors have lotteries to see which family to treat).

…think the human fetus is no more significant than a tumor and an abortion is no more morally questionable than a tonsillectomy.

…think a cow or chicken has more of a right to live than a human fetus.

…think An Inconvenient Truth and The Day After Tomorrow are both scientifically-accurate movies.

…want the country to invest in alternative energy sources, except nuclear energy.

…think it’s fair to force somebody off their property because an endangered beetle also lives there.

…want to legalize marijuana but ban guns.

…find burning the Koran offensive, but not building a mosque near the site of an Islamic terrorist attack.

…are against giving jobs to foreigners overseas, yet have no problem giving jobs to foreigners in our own country.

…want to give African-Americans and other minorities equal access to jobs by giving them special treatment in hiring.

…think communism or anarchy are good ideas gone bad.

…find it more patriotic to burn the flag rather than salute it.