The following are "The Stupid Six Reasons Keith Olbermann Is No Longer On Countdown" as presented by MAD Magazine:
1. He needed time off to undergo intensive physical rehab, after tearing every muscle in his neck making those overdramatic camera-to-camera swivels.
2. He finally used up every possible synonym for “bad,” including “reprehensible,” noxious,” feculent,” accursed,” “stygian,” turpitudinous,” “naufragagting,” and “grody to the max.”
3. It’s a tough economy, and MSNBC plans to eventually outsource his job to Guatemala.
4. Just as in Tunisia and Egypt, Olbermann was another entrenched tyrant to be swept from power by a sudden uprising.
5. It frees up five hours of MSNBC airtime to show even MORE prison shows about flesh-eating convicts.
6. Olbermann finally came to understand that his cartoonish one-sided rhetoric was nothing more than the mirror image of the lowest slanders coming from the other side of the political divide, and that by automatically reducing every opponent to a thuggish monster, he had long since become grotesque, fatally corroding his own moral center. (Ha! Just kidding!)