• 300 protesters were arrested at Occupy Oakland. The arrests came after protesters broke into City Hall where they burned flags, destroyed artwork, and damaged an electrical box. As protesters threw rocks and other objects, the police retaliated with tear gas. And yet the Occupy morons insist it was a peaceful protest, or as the group described it in an e-mail, “an act of constitutionally protected civil disobedience.” Bullpucky! Breaking and entering a federal building is not peaceful protest. I oppose the numerous acts of police brutality against the Occupy movement, but this is not one of them. These protesters were breaking the law and acting violent. The police action against them was fully warranted. And this isn’t the first incident involving Occupy Oakland. Last November, the group violently protested the Port of Oakland by smashing windows, spraying graffiti, and tossing Molotov cocktails—leading to dozens of arrests. There is no excuse against police brutality, but there’s also no excuse for violent protest.
• Bill Gates and Warren Buffett want higher taxes on the rich. During an ABC interview, Warren Buffet pushed the same old song and dance routine about how his secretary pays more in taxes than he does, claiming that his side “has had the nuclear bomb” with the tax debate. Bill Gates told Fox News that “the rich should bear a larger increase than the rest.” While it is admirable that both billionaires want to help the country, the fact remains that “the rich” already pay a higher tax rate than the rest of us. But if both these men want to pay higher taxes, they’re free to write a check to Washington D.C. Funny how neither of them want to do that, eh?
• An Arkansas Campaign Manager’s cat was murdered with ‘Liberal’ written on its body. Jake Burris, campaign manager for Democratic candidate Ken Alden of the Third Congressional District of Arkansas, returned home with his family to discover their pet cat dead with the word "LIBERAL" scrawled on its body. As a cat lover, I’m especially appalled by this, and to the asshat who did this: YOU’RE NOT HELPING! If you did this to get back at Alden, all you did was ensure his victory by inspiring hate for his opponent whom will most likely get the blame for this. And all you’re doing is aiding into the degradation of our political discourse. Mediaite’s Jon Bershad said it best: “We can all see exactly how this is going to go now, right? All of our nation’s media figures will be frothing at the mouth accusing the other side of using inflammatory language. They and our politicians will all self-righteously claim to clean up their act for the greater good. Then, in a few weeks, everyone will go right back to accusing each other of being socialist racists who want to commit class warfare. And that will go on until the next living thing is murdered. And, so, the Great Cycle of Hate that keeps our political world moving will spin forever onward."
• Penn State coach Joe Paterno died at 85. And I couldn’t care less! I don’t care how good of a coach he was. He turned a blind eye to child rape. That makes all the praises he’s received post-mortem unwarranted.
Dumbasses of the Week
3rd Place: President Barack Obama: On Thursday, Obama claimed that his desire to raise taxes the rich were not based on what Mitt Romney called “politics of envy.” “This has nothing to do with envy,” Obama said. “It has everything to do with math.” Math, eh? I guess that’s why the richest one percent pays roughly 40 percent of the country’s total income tax1 and nearly 28 percent of the total tax burden, while the top 10 percent pay 60 percent of the total income tax and roughly 57 percent of the total tax burden. Meanwhile, the bottom 2 percent pays less than 3 percent in total income tax and less than a fraction of a percent of the total tax burden. I’m guessing Obama failed math in school.
2nd Place: Sen. Stacey Campfield (R): In response to criticism over his “Don’t Say Gay Bill,” which would have banned discussion of homosexuality in Tennessee public schools, Campfield made the following statement concerning the correlation between homosexuality and AIDS: “Most people realize that AIDS came from the homosexual community—it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men. It was an airline pilot, if I recall.” Don’t bang your head against the wall just yet: it gets worse—much worse! He continues: “My understanding is that it is virtually—not completely, but virtually—impossible to contract AIDS through heterosexual sex...very rarely [transmitted].” Um, no. Just no. Heterosexuals can contract AIDS. Science says so. You’re wrong. Enough said.
1st Place: Sen. Ralph Shortey (R): In a story that seems like it was ripped straight out of The Onion (though sadly, it’s from real life), Sen. Ralph Shortey proposed a bill in his state that would have prohibited food companies from used aborted fetuses in their products. (So that’s why Wendy’s chili tastes so terrible: they’re using aborted fetuses!) Did he have any examples of companies using fetuses in their food? Oh hell no! Like every other “good” politician, he’s basing this bill on the hypothetical: “I don’t know if it is happening in Oklahoma.…It may be, it may not be. What I am saying is that if it does happen then we are not going to allow it to manufacture here.” Hey, while we’re at it, why not pass a bill prohibiting food companies from using actual human beings. We don’t want to live in a Soylent Green dystopia, now do we?