Throughout the course of history, epic battles have been waged on fields of grandeur: Thermopylae, Yorktown, Waterloo, Gettysburg, Normandy, Helm's Deep. But last night, the most epic of battles was fought on the most unlikeliest of battlefields: Bloomberg.
In this corner, the conservative who speaks softly but carries a big stick, following in the footsteps of philosophical giants like Ludwig Von Mises, Fredrick Hayek, and Murrary Rothbard, the David to the Goliath of the Federal Reserve—Dr. Ron Paul!
And in this corner, an Ivory tower Keynesian ideologue who believes bubbles can fix bubbles, broken windows can create jobs, and alien invasions can stimulate the economy—Proffesor Paul Krugman!
It’s a battle for the ages. Let’s get ready to rumble!
Aw yeah! Shiyit! just got real, yo! Paul and Paul in the hizz-ouse!
You gots to love my boy, Ron Paul: he be all up in dat place like, “Enough with all this central planning shiyit! Big Daddy Fed better stop pimping the economy like a two-dollar ho, yo, and let it start do its own thing, otherwise some serious shyite may be going down. Yah know what I’m saying?”
And then Krugman is like, “Yo, y u be talking smack about Big Daddy Fed? He ain’t hurt nobody, a’ight?! He ain’t the foo who caused that Great Depression shiyit to go down. It was that two-timing ho the free market, what with her being allowed to run wild like she all dat, not without Big Daddy Fed smacking that bitch now and then and telling her who da boss. That lazzie-faire shiyit be wack, yo! That primo shiyit’ll send us back 100 years!”
And then Paul is all like, “Whachoo talking about, K-Dog? U be the foo who’ll send us back 1,000 years by going all Byzantine on our ass. U for serious when u be saying we can have us some big green without some gold bling-bling supporting it? F*** dat shiyit! Dat shiyit’ll run you drier than a night of hookers and blow, yo! F*** dat shiyit! Give me some of that bling-bling!”
Okay. Okay. I apologize for my failed attempt at ebonics. I’ve just been plagued with work lately and I’d thought I blow off some steam by acting all gangsta—which I ain’t (err, I mean I’m not!). Hopefully, you got a good laugh out of this as I did. Sometimes we need to stop being all serious and uptight and be random now and then. Otherwise, you’ll just crack. (That’s what Pinkie Pie taught me!)