Nuggets of Wisdom

Friday, June 29, 2012

A Sane Obamacare Post From r/politics

r/politics is infamous for being a left-wing circlejerk. Most of its threads are from left-wing sites such as the Huffington Post, Media Matters, and Daily Kos with the comment sections little more than moonbat echo chambers with any dissenting comments downvoted into oblivion.

It’s for these and other reasons that I long considered ceasing my visits to Reddit—if not simply unsubscribing from r/politics. But today, I was tempted to visit the circlejerk one last time.

What I discovered was this gem of sanity, which surprisingly is one of the top threads with 726 upvotes. (It’s moments like this that make me gain just a gram of faith in humanity.)
To everyone finding it so crazy that some people oppose Obamacare, let me respond to your massive generalizations.

It isn't that conservatives want Americans go uninsured. The battling viewpoints are not: "let poor people get sick" vs "let's get everyone healthy". The viewpoint is: how much do we want our federal government involved in our lives. And conservatives stand on the side of less. Yes, in the party there is a disconnect between the religious right and this philosophy in terms of certain social policy, but this isn't every conservative. Lots of their concerns center around how this was hastily written and contains flaws. A lot of conservatives' opinions are based around the outstanding response from small business owners who fear the stress in the requirements of the law, many whom say will strangle their growth. And remember, small businesses employ almost 98% of employer firms, employ over half of the United States, have generated 65% of new jobs in the past 15 years [U.S. Small Business Association]. Republicans agree that the health care industry needs to change, but not at the expense of our already faltering economy.

To the Europeans/Canadians who are all amazed that we don't want "universal healthcare" (which Obamacare is not at all): America is a country of 313 million people, that is 3rd in the world. The next closest European country (I'm not counting Russia) is Germany with 80 million. America is 9.5 million square kilometers; the next closest European country is France with just over 500,000. Clearly there are differences, and let's quit with the ignorance of direct comparison, alright?

The supreme court decision effectively said this: the federal government doesn't have the power to force a citizen to purchase something, but they can tax them for not purchasing a specific good or product. You see where this becomes a slippery slope.

I work in the healthcare industry-I'm not a nurse or doctor or hospital administrator, but I work in a supporting business service field. [edit note:] I'm an intern for a business service company, still in college. It's not like I'm making the big bucks, if anything, I've just been immersed in the industry and been reading and researching a lot, so I'd say I'm familiar with what's going on. And the industry is screwed up and in need of change. But the conservatives want this change organically and from within the industry. And this has already been happening, the Health Care law was not something entirely new and unknown to everyone else. If you're curious, go read some things by Elliot Fisher of Dartmouth, a large proponent of Accountable Care Organizations, a significant trend in the industry.

I realize that the majority of r/politics may disagree, but some differing views are good to see. I'm just sick and tired of seeing gross generalizations and plain misstatements about those that oppose Obamacare. What is differing here are deep political philosophies, not some small issue that can be spun to make either side look like the bad guys. One side does not want to expand our federal government, they would look at the track record of public programs, industries, offices, red-tape, efficiency, fiscal policy, etc vs that of comparable private entities and prefer the latter.

For those that have made statements about hoping the Republican party will entirely "fade away" with their totally "outdated views". Conservatives want a smaller government, and as long as people are unhappy with what their government is doing, they will want less of it. This only makes sense. If I don't like vomit-flavored ice cream, I probably won't ask for two more scoops. Of course, the government could just tax me for not buying those new scoops now, couldn't they?

TL/DR: Not all "conservatives" hate the poor and equality as they are being categorized as. I oppose ACA because: I support smaller government. I don't think comparing other countries' systems works with the US bc our size and population makes us unique. The industry itself is already undergoing a trend of reform, and I believe this will be better than government mandated. The Supreme Court decision itself sets up a scary precedent.

EDIT: Because everyone is pointing this out. I mention that there is disconnect in the party today. As a young conservative, I'd say we have more consistent values of small government. This includes cutting military spending and size, doing something about the drug war which consequentially dramatically reduces prison spending, letting gays get married, etc because we want the government out of our lives. This is what I would say is TRUE conservatism. Wanting a small, reduced government and increased freedoms economically AND in social policy as well.

EDIT 2: While this hasn't been discussed that much in the news, I'd like to throw in one more conservative issue with the bill: pre-existing conditions. The blanket coverage for all pre-existing conditions in bad. There needs to be some line drawn over fault-free pre-existing conditions and pre-existing conditions of your own doing. If someone has type II (that's the adult onset, right?) diabetes because they live an unhealthy lifestyle then they should have to pay more for insurance. If someone smokes cigarettes and has emphysema as a pre-existing condition they should have to pay more for insurance. Now if someone gets lymphoma as a kid that should be considered a pre-existing condition and should absolutely be covered. If someone has MS or something like that. I just wanted to throw this out there. I don't think we should have to pay more for someone's negligent unhealthy choices, but I'm okay with paying more for out-of-one's control circumstances. I'm okay with the government mandating coverage of most pre-existing conditions, just not unavoidable ones.

EDIT 3: Thanks so far. I tried to not sound too sensational, just summarize my views (and other young conservatives' views) so there would be a wider understanding. Some of you replied less respectfully than I think my language warranted, but overall, even amidst a sea of disagreement, this has been treated fairly well. So thanks r/politics!

EDIT 4: Wow. This blew up. Thanks for all the opinions, messages, replies, and generally well thought out responses. At this point I can't read everything, and its exposure now also warrants the trolls so I'll do my best. I haven't gotten a shred of work done all day (altho I'm glad my proxy doesn't block reddit). And regardless of your opinions, keep the debate going, make sure and vote in November, and if you think you're smart enough and can make a difference, run for office one day. Maybe one day reddit will be abuzz with controversy over YOUR political action.

ANOTHER EDIT: since my note about working in the industry seems to be an issue, I've clarified that, and I'll do so here as well. I'm an intern for a business service company. Still in college. It's not like I'm making the big bucks, if anything, I've just been immersed in the industry and been reading and researching a lot, so I'd say I'm familiar.

SO MANY EDITS: Quick note on my Canada/Europe/size/population comment. I know Canada is as big geographically as the US. I'm just meaning that the US is its own animal. There is no other country that equates in terms of size AND population, which makes any direct comparisons difficult. Because governance is strongly affected by both geography and population.

AND AGAIN: Since the semantics of "conservative" seem to be such a big deal for everybody, if that bothers you, go ahead and read it as "one-who-does-not-support-ACA-or-the-democratic-party-and-tends-to-lean-towards-the-views-of-some-libertarians-but-without-being-entirely-libertarian-because-I-think-we-need-a-little-more-government-than-that-I-mean-don't-get-me-wrong-I-dig-Ron-Paul-but-prefer-Jefferson-so-basically-I-want-my-government-to-be-small"; conservative was just easier.

FINAL EDIT AND I'M OUT: It's too much for me. I can't take it. Any more summary of opinion can be found here:

Daily Pony: Johnny Bravo and the Mane 6

Image from Equestria Daily.

A human cartoon character hitting on cartoon ponies.

Hilarious or creepy? You decide!

Bravo vs. Ponyville #1 (Rarity)

Bravo vs. Ponyville #2 (Fluttershy)

Bravo vs. Ponyville #3 (Pinkie Pie)

Bravo vs. Ponyville #4 (Rainbow Dash)

Bravo vs. Ponyville#5 (Applejack)

Bravo vs. Ponyville #6 (Twilight Sparkle)

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Obamacare Upheld

Photo from Wikimedia.

In a 5-4 ruling, the Supreme Court upheld the “constitutionality” of the Affordable Healthcare Act including the individual mandate.

I wouldn’t have minded if they only struck down the mandate and kept everything else. I have no problem with allowing young people to stay on their parents’ insurance until they’re 26, or preventing companies from denying coverage due to preexisting conditions—through the other regulations which would have raised healthcare costs are still problematic.

But by keeping the mandate, the Supreme Court has declared it constitutional for the federal government to force citizens to buy products from the private sector, even though this violates the Commerce Clause in Article I, Section 8 of the U.S. Constitution.

This is why I don’t understand why libtarded moonbats love Obamacare. They claim this is a victory against the insurance companies but the exact opposite is true: this mandates requires people to buy from them or else pay a fine. Government forces people to buy health insurance and the insurance companies provide it. This is corporate cronyism at its finest—or rather worst!

So is it any wonder that this healthcare plan was inspired by a similar Republican scheme in the 90s, which was implemented on the state level in Massachusetts by Mitt Romney—you know, the same Mitt Romney who is running against Obama and campaigning against Obamacare?

Go figure! The very people who oppose Obamacare are the same ones who inspired it! Just goes to show the vast difference between the two parties: Obamacare, Romneycare. Obama, Romney. To-may-to, To-mah-to!

This is not a victory for the American people. It is a victory for big business and big government. It is a victory for corporatism. It is a victory that increases the power of the corporate state and paves the way for fascism.

And thus our march towards serfdom continues ever onward.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Florida SWAT Team Busts Hair Salon

Photo from WPTV.

Last Saturday in Delray Beach, Fl., SWAT teams raided three businesses including a hair salon.

And what did they discover in the back rooms of these establishments? Meth labs? Human trafficking? Child prostitution stings?

No. Something far more insidious: gambling!

Shocking, I know. I’ll let you catch your breath before you continue reading.

The game in question was Bolita, a Cuban variation of the lottery, popular among immigrants, with tickets selling for $10 and winnings ranging up to the thousands.

While valuable resources could have been easily wasted preventing petty crimes like rape, murder, or stop light violations, these brave police officers chose instead to use their time and energy to stop Cuban immigrants from participating in a game of chance.

And considering how they were forced to don full-body camouflage suits and arm themselves to the teeth with military gear, they were obviously entering an environment where their very lives were at risk. You don’t realize how deadly those hair dryers and curling irons can be. In the hands of trained hairstylists, they’re lethal weapons!

Okay, to be fair, the police managed to confiscate one handgun, which completely justifies sending an entire SWAT team to infiltrate a hair salon where grandma was getting her perm and pedi.

And also to be fair, the police raid was in response to several unreported robberies. Of course, these robberies possibly happened because Florida anti-gambling laws forced these gambling operations into the black market, thus creating the criminal enviroment. But that’s beside the point.

Delray Beach residents can now sleep soundly knowing that 21 shady individuals are behind bars and over $15 thousand have been confiscated—money which rightfully belongs to the Florida government through taxes and lottery tickets.

Funny how the state of Florida bans gambling, forcing residents who wish to play hard and win big to play the state lottery. It’s almost as if it’s a criminal cartel that sends its armed thugs to stamp out any rival competition to its monopoly.

But that’s just crazy talk coming from a kooky libertarian like myself.

Daily Pony: Party.MOV

WARNING: If you wish to maintain your perception of Pinkie Pie as the sweet, innocent pony she is, if not maintain your sanity, then do not—I repeat—DO NOT watch the latest installment of the Pony.MOV series Party.MOV.

Instead, watch the Pinkie Pie Smile music video.

However, if you can handle watching your favorite multicolored ponies swearing, drinking, toking up, or committing an array of other unspeakable acts which tarnish their sweet and innocent image, then by all means, watch away!

You have been warned! This series isn’t #7 on my Top 11 Most Disturbing MLP:FiM Fandoms list for nothing.

“Am I the only sane one in this crazy world of Technicolor pony wierdos?” - Spike

Monday, June 25, 2012

This Week In Review (06/25/2012)

This Week In Review (06/25/2012)

President Barack Obama signs executive order to end deportation of young illegal immigrants. Obama announced that his administration would no longer deport illegal immigrants under 30 who were brought into the country before age 16. These young people will be eligible for citizenship if they pose no criminal or security threat, attended and graduated high school, and either attended college or served in the military. This seems fair enough. Children should not be punished for the crimes of their parents, and as long as they’re trying to be productive members of society, they should be allowed to remain here and become citizens. But here’s the problem with this decision: Obama had no authority to make it. Article I, Section 8 of the U.S. Constitution gives the power “to establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization” to Congress, not the president. By changing immigration law through executive order, Obama is overstepping his constitutional boundaries as president. As the good Judge Andrew Napolitano warned in his recent op-ed on the matter, “If the president can rewrite federal laws that he doesn't like, there is no limit to his power. Then, he will not be a president. He will be a king.”

Massachusetts town imposes $20 fine for swearing in public. You won’t be able to say any of George Carlin’s “Seven Words” in Middleborough, Mass. anytime soon. That’s because residents voted 183-50 during a town meeting to ban public profanity, with violators facing fines of $20. Now before anyone starts branding their torches and pitchforks over this blatant free speech violation, it should be noted that this ban won’t apply to casual utterances of profanity. As the Associated Press points out: “Officials insist the proposal was not intended to censor casual or private conversations, but instead to crack down on loud, profanity-laden language used by teens and other young people in the downtown area and public parks.” Many business owners said they supported the ban because this behavior tends to detract customers. Now while I find this understandable, I don’t think this justifies a city-wide “War On Profanity.” If people are truly causing a profanity-laden disturbance in front of a business, the business owner has the right to tell them to cease, desist, and leave, and if they persist, they can call the police and charge them with disturbing the peace. There is no reason to ban speech because someone finds it offensive. In fact, freedom of speech was intended to protect unpopular and offensive speech.

Priest busted for sex abuse ten years ago now working for the TSA at Philly airport. Thomas Harkins was a priest at several New Jersey churches until 2002 when he was charged with sexually-abusing two girls, with a third one having recently come forward. A kiddy-piddling priest isn’t news—though one that molests little girls rather than little boys is! But what is news is that the former priest now works as a TSA supervisor at Philadelphia International Airport. How did a child-molesting priest manage to receive such a high position? According to New York Daily News, “Because the sexual abuse cases were so old, and the lawsuits were settled with the accusers, criminal charges were never filed against Harkins, which is why nothing registered when the TSA ran a background check.” But many people have voiced their concern over this, including Karen Polesir of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP). As she told a CBS Philly news crew, “They should know who they are hiring. As the public, we are screened to our underwear getting on a plane, and yet they hire a man like that.” And this highlights the main problem with the TSA and its draconian security measures: when you give people such power over ordinary citizens, you ultimately attract questionable individuals who want to abuse that power for their own gratification. This is why the TSA has received over 500 complaints from women claiming to have been unfairly targeted by TSA agents for full-body scans and invasive pat downs. When you give people the power to conduct what amounts to virtual strip searches and genital fondling, you wind up with perverts seeking to have their own personal peep show or cop a feel. Speaking of which…

Florida woman accused of groping TSA agent. 59-year-old Carol Jean Price was going through security in a Florida airport, waiting to board a flight to her brother’s funeral, when she was selected for a full-body pat down. She claimed that the TSA agent groped her breasts and crotch while performing the procedure. Being a former agent herself, Price would have known if the agent had touched her in a way that went against normal procedure. She demanded to see a supervisor, to whom she demonstrated how she was handled by grabbing the agent in the areas she claimed she was groped. Not only did this cause her to miss her flight, but she now faces misdemeanor battery charges. And herein lies the problem with not only the TSA, but any other aspect of government: it exists of individuals who have been endowed with privileges ordinary citizens do not have. Government apologists claim that government is only people like you and me, but it’s not. These people have the sole privilege of utilizing force and coercion, and as such, can get away with doing things we cannot. As this incident shows, if we were to touch another person the same way a TSA agent would, we would be charged with sexual assault, yet agents touch people like that all the time as part of their everyday job. You could argue that these measures are only to protect us against potential terrorist attacks, but as has been pointed out numerous times, these measures do nothing to make us safer and everything to make us less free.

House Republican proposes ban on use of armed drones in the US. As The Hill blog reports, Rep. Michael Burgess (R-Texas) introduced the “No Armed Drones Act, or NADA, [which] would amend the FAA Modernization and Reform Act to prohibit the use of unmanned aircraft systems as weapons in U.S. airspace, and would prevent the secretary of Transportation from authorizing anyone to use these drones to ‘deliver a weapon against a person or property.’ It would also prevent the manufacture, sale or distribution of armed drones for use in the United States.” So first we had Rand Paul introduce legislation requiring a warrant to use unmanned drones in civilian airspace, and now we have Burgess introduce legislation to ban drones altogether. Nice to know that some members of the Republican Party actually support right to privacy. For despite their preaching about limited government, Republicans have been more than willing to expand the size of government when it suits them, especially when it comes to fighting the decade-long “War on Terror.” So kudos to Paul and Burgess for refusing to trade liberty for security as most Republicans have done. We need more  like them who are willing to practice the very conservative limited-government principles they preach.

Marijuana legalization bill vetoed by NH Governor. Reuters reports: “the New Hampshire bill passed by a more than 2 to 1 margin in the state House of Representatives this year, but only narrowly passed the Senate, making prospects for a veto override unlikely.” Had the bill become law, it would have made New Hampshire the twentieth state in the nation and the fifth state in New England to legalize marijuana for medicinal purposes. Unfortunately, Governor John Lynch vetoed the bill. Sounds like a Republican governor obstructing a Democrat congress, right? Actually, Governor Lynch is a Democrat and the congress which passed the bill is mostly Republican. Moreover, New Hampshire has been known for its libertarian legislation, with no state income or sales tax, no motorcycle helmet laws, and lax gun laws. Just goes to show you that not all Republicans support the drug war and not all Democrats support drug legalization—and in the end, neither party truly reflects the best interests of the people they’re supposed to represent.

63% of Republicans still believe Iraq had WMDs. So let’s ignore the fact that no weapons of mass destruction were discovered after invading Iraq: the very Iraqi defector who leaked info about WMDs to the Bush administration admitted earlier this year that he had lied about the whole thing. In other words, he was admitting what most sensible people had already assumed: that the Iraq War—which cost us trillions of dollars and thousands of lives—was built on nothing but lies. Saddam Hussein had no weapons of mass destruction, nor did he have any ties to 9/11; and yet Republicans still insist that he did, despite all evidence to the contrary. Mark Twain said it best: "It's easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled."

• Jurors refuse to convict man on drug charges. ABC News reports: "Israel Rangel was charged with possession of less than a gram of cocaine. Cops said he had half as much coke as there is Sweet'N Low in a single packet." During the jury selection for the case, jurors were asked if they would convict Rangel if it was proven that he had committed the offense. Out of 160 jurors, 50 said they would not convict. This answer came as a shock to many, but for others like defense attorney Tony Dupont, it was only common sense: "They said they weren't going to make somebody a felon and ruin their lives over less than a gram of cocaine.” Thankfully, Rangel was found not guilty. If here were found guilty, according to Texas law, he would have faced 180 days to 2 years in jail or a fine of up to $10,000—all for owning what amounts to a sugar packet of coke! Even if he was guilty, there is no reason he should have faced such a hefty punishment for something that ultimately harms no one but himself. Yes, drug abuse is a problem, but the solution should not be to throw people in jail. The solution should be to educate people and treat those who are suffering from addiction. We need to treat drug addicts like patients, not criminals.

Men outnumber women among American rape victims. Feminists have always complained that America promotes a rape culture that encourages rape against women, despite the fact that reported rape is the lowest it’s ever been within the past 20 years. To their credit, rape culture does exist, but it exists not against women, but against men in prison. As Christopher Glazek of N+1 Magazine explains: “the Justice Department finally released an estimate of the prevalence of sexual abuse in penitentiaries. The reliance on filed complaints appeared to understate the problem. For 2008, for example, the government had previously tallied 935 confirmed instances of sexual abuse. After asking around, and performing some calculations, the Justice Department came up with a new number: 216,000. That’s 216,000 victims, not instances. These victims are often assaulted multiple times over the course of the year. The Justice Department now seems to be saying that prison rape accounted for the majority of all rapes committed in the US in 2008, likely making the United States the first country in the history of the world to count more rapes for men than for women.” So when you add prison rape to the numbers, you find that men are statistically raped more often than women. Yet rape is primarily viewed as a women’s issue. Rape against men is rarely taken as seriously. Since men are considered the stronger sex, male rape victims are often reluctant to admit being raped, considering it a failure of their manhood. Things are worse in prison where prison guards rarely intervene to stop rape when it occurs and prison officials sweep instances under the rug, often advising victims not to make official complaints, claiming that they won’t be taken seriously if they do. Even when official complaints are made, very few result in criminal charges. Rape victims who do complain tend to be targeted for rape by other prisoners. This trauma drives some victims to suicide. Prison rape is not a joke to the victim involved; yet in our society, it’s treated as a joke. (“Don’t drop the soap!”) Rape is never funny. It is a serious offense, whether the victim is a man or a woman, and we as a society need to start treating it as such.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Daily Pony: Missed Brony Joke By Paw?

Last week, Paw reviewed Cannibal: The Musical, Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s first project before South Park. One of the songs in the movie is how the Packer character loves his horse—and I mean really loves his horse!

What? A song about a man with a creepy infatuation with horses and no brony reference? Seriously. I was expecting some sort of MLP reference when this song came up. Nothing!

Paw, I am disappoint.

Image from MLP Forums.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Daily Pony: Justice League Riding Magic Ponies

During his review of Battle for Bludhaven #1-2, Linkara came across this lulzy piece of dialogue from the antagonist Father Time:

“I want a complete media blackout. If you see anyone in a costume, you shoot to kill. I don’t give a damn if it’s Green Lantern, Superman or the whole Justice League riding magic ponies.”
This led to a humorous MLP/Justice Leauge fanart montage.

This is by far one of my favorite Linkara reviews, not only because of the MLP reference, but also because it contains what is his best line thus far: “I’m not sympathetic towards stupid people.”

I also loved the character Firebrand and his many anti-government ramblings, even if it managed to piss off Linkara.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Daily Pony: Lollipop Chainsaw Review (Twilight Sparkle's Bad Furr Day)

What’s better than a game about chainsaw-wielding cheerleaders fighting zombies? How about a game about chainsaw-wielding cheerleaders fighting zombies with the main character voiced by Twilight Sparkle?

Pan Pizza recently reviewed the new XBOX 360 game Lollipop Chainsaw, whose main character Juliet is voiced by the ever Twilightlicious Tara Strong. Having her as the voice actress makes the game all the more fun when you imagine Twilight Sparkle saying the naughty things Juliet says.

You don’t watch porn, do you Nick?

Glad I took that pole-dancing class.

What the dick is going on with all this crazy stuff?

My sister and I all wear our vaginas proudly.

Oh, and for anyone curious what Twilight Sparkle would look like if she were in the game…

Lollipop Chainsaw Mare-ssacre III by ~dm29 on deviantART

Terrorism Biggest Threat To America?

During a hearing by Homeland Security Chairman Peter King on the radicalization of American Muslims, Democratic lawmaker Al Green asked why there aren’t any hearing on radical Christians.

Granted, the question paints a false equivalency between radical Muslims and Christians (something Bill Maher refuted in one of his old New Rules segments), but the biggest epic fail was Mr. King’s response:
“To deny that there’s any correlation between the Muslim faith and the biggest threat to this country today defies credulity."
Biggest threat to the country, huh? I could explain why this isn’t so, but someone on reddit actually did it more poignantly than I ever could. Enjoy:
Biggest threat? Really?

Tell you what, let's look at 2001, the year that radical Muslims presented the biggest threat to people on American soil. You know, the year 9/11 happened. Surely, in their worst year, they must have been the biggest threat then, right?
Well, no... not biggest. That honor goes to heart disease, which killed 700,142 Americans in 2001.
Okay, but surely 9/11 took second place, right?
Well, no. That would be cancer. 553,768 deaths.
Third place? Fourth?
Nope. Cerebrovascular diseases (163,538), chronic lower respiratory diseases (123,013)
Okay, so disease is worse than terrorism, fine. But what about non-disease stuff? Surely terrorists are America's biggest threat when it comes to things our health care system isn't supposed to be working to prevent?
Ohhhhh, sorry. Coming in at fifth place in 2001 was accidents (101,537).
Well, shit. Clearly "terrorism" must place on the list somewhere in 2001, right?
Hmm... sixth place, diabetes, seventh place, influenza and pneumonia, eighth place, Alzheimer's... Nephritis... Septicemia... eleventh place, suicides...
Wait, what? Suicides? Suicides? You mean, the one kind of death that is absolutely and completely avoidable has beaten out terrorism in the year that terrorism was at its worst? 32,238 Deaths due to suicide in one year... kinda' makes "never forget" seem like a silly statement.
No! Let's press on! Clearly we're being distracted from the real issue here! Terrorists are really, really bad! Surely they'll be coming up on the list soon...
Chronic liver disease... homicide... Wait! Homicide! There we go! Surely terrorism is included in with that number! 20,308 deaths. That's a lot of death, and almost certainly the majority of it those evil Muslim terrorists!
2,988 people died because of terrorists in 2001. So... roughly 14% of all homicides. Which itself ranked 13th on the list of causes of death in 2001. The year terrorists did their worst.
I'm not trying to outright dismiss the threat of terrorism. Yeah, there are a bunch of people out there that want to kill us, and that's bad, and we should be trying to stop them.
However, their attempts to kill us are, honestly, pathetic when compared to disease, even treatable disease. Terrorists don't cause more death than plain, everyday accidents. Terrorists don't cause more deaths than those amongst us killing each other. They can't even hold a candle to the number of us who have decided to just kill ourselves.
Terrorism is a threat, but a very, very, very minor one. We should be far more concerned about our health care system, which even after the intervention of the PPACA ("Obamacare") is still based on a profit motive which is perfectly happy with letting people die in the name of saving a few bucks. We should be far more concerned with effective traffic safety, to find effective ways of preventing accidents. We should be far more concerned about reaching out to those amongst us who are suffering from anxiety, depression and mental illness, who are in so much mental anguish that they want to take their own lives.
Statistically, you won't die because of a Muslim. You'll die because of fast food. You'll die because you haven't been getting your regular checkups at the doctor. You'll die because you smoke. You'll die because you drink too much. You'll die because some idiot on the road didn't see the stop sign. You'll die because you got into a fight with some other American. You'll die because you, yourself, will make the choice to die. Statistically, you are a bigger threat to yourself than some Muslim.
So maybe it's time we all started acting that way.
Source: National Vital Statistics Reports: Deaths: Injuries, 2001

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Top 11 Most Disturbing MLP:FIM Fandoms (#1)

This is the moment you all have been waiting for.

Time to reveal the #1 most disturbing MLP:FiM fandom.

But before we do, here’s a recap of the past ten disturbing entries:

#11) The incestuous fan shipping of Apple Jack and Big Macintosh.

#10) The Shyamalan-style fan game Story of the Blanks.

#9) The twisted humor of Tyrannux’s fanart.

#8) The extra low-brow humor of Gavalanche’s fanart.

#7) The ever-grotesque fan series Pony.MOV.

#6) The lascivious antics of Princess Molestia.

#5) Megasweet’s obsession with little fillies.

#4) The Luna Games which never let you sleep after playing them.

#3) The sweet and tasty, blood and gory Cupcakes.

#2) Big Macintosh’s extremely out-of-character torture porn Sweet Apple Massacre.

And the #1 most disturbing MLP:FiM fandom is…

Image from Tumblr.

#1) Rainbow Factory

Now a rainbow's tale isn't quite as nice
As the story we knew of sugar and spice
But a rainbow's easy once you get to know it
With the help of the magic of a pegasus device

Let's delve deeper into rainbow philosophy
Far beyond that of Cloudsdale's mythology
It's easy to misjudge that floating city
With it's alluring decor and social psychology
But with all great things comes a great responsibility
That of Cloudsdale's being weather stability
How, you ask, are they up to the task
To which the answer is in a simple facility

In the Rainbow Factory, where your fears and horrors come true
In the Rainbow Factory, where not a single soul gets through

-Rainbow Factory song

Have you ever wondered how rainbows are made? In our world, they're created by the refraction of light through rain and mist. But in Equestria, as with other weather, they’re created by the pegasi in Cloudsdale. We see how they’re made in Sonic Rainboom, but we never get to see what exactly they’re made from.

Where do the pegasi get all the colors that go into rainbows? Rainbow Factory offers a theory—and a dark one at that!

The story begins with Scootaloo taking her flying exam which all young pegasi are required to pass not only to graduate flying school but to become functioning members of Cloudsdale. Those who pass earn jobs helping create the weather. Those who don’t are mysteriously taken away, never to be seen or heard from again.

Where exactly do the pegasi who fail go? Scootaloo ultimately finds out for herself.

She and two other pegasi fail the test and are promptly escorted to a carriage to be carted away. Around nightfall, they arrive at the Rainbow Factory in Cloudsdale. They suspect that they’re going to be used for slave labor, but their actual fate is far worse. Turns out that for over a thousand years, the pegasi have been extracting the colors for rainbows, or spectra, from live ponies, most of whom are the young pegasi who fail their flying exam.

Image from deviantART.

If this wasn’t bad enough for Scootaloo, the manager of the Rainbow Factory happens to be her role model Rainbow Dash. She had been hired at the factory following the events in Sonic Rainboom, and when she learned the secret of how the colors were made, had trained Scootaloo to ensure that she passed her test and never met this fate. But now that Scootaloo has failed and arrived at the factory, Dash becomes disgusted at her and openly disavows any affection she ever had for her.

“You didn’t just fail the test,” she yells at her, “you failed me too!”

Scootaloo and her friends attempt to escape the factory, but ultimately fail, and end up being processed for their color.

Image from deviantART.

Before I discuss this fanfic, a quick side rant: Just what do people have against the Cutie Mark Crusaders?

In this list alone, we’ve seen Apple Bloom risk her life in a village of the undead, Sweetie Belle demoralized and abused in Gavalanche’s fanart, Apple Bloom crushed to death by Discord in the Pony.MOV series, all three Cutie Mark Crusaders sexualized in Megasweet’s smut, and all three raped and tortured to death by Big Macintosh in Sweet Apple Massacre. And now we have Scootaloo killed and turned into rainbow colors.

Image from MLP Wiki.

I mean, sweet Celestia, what do people have against these three? I know they’re little kids, and as such, they tend to be annoying, but does that justify this level of hated against them? Have they seriously become the Scrappy Doo of the series where people hate them so much that they wish pain and suffering upon them? What they freakin’ hell?

Now back to the story.

The top three stories on this list all involve murder, but what makes this story the most disturbing is the scope of the murders involved. With Cupcakes, it’s only Pinkie Pie killing Rainbow Dash. With Sweet Apple Massacre, it’s only Big Macintosh killing the three Cutie Mark Crusaders. But with Rainbow Factory, it’s not just Rainbow Dash killing Scootaloo and her two friends; it’s an entire society systematically exterminating its weakest members. This is a society which values physical prowess to the point that any of its citizens who exhibit even a hint of weakness is demoralized, deemed unworthy of dignity and instead viewed as fodder for their industry.

Image from deviantART.

This story is the darkest of the three because it touches on the darkest aspect of humanity: genocide. Our own history has been plagued with this very sin, from the Holocaust in Nazi Germany to the forced famines in the Ukraine. Even today genocide is being inflicted in Rwanda, Serbia, and South Africa. To consider an entire race or group of human beings to be less than human, to the point where they are considered unworthy of life, is the gravest sin that could ever be committed.

But as dark as the thought of genocide may be, at least it our world, it’s something we can expect with the fallen nature of mankind. However, it is not something we would expect in a world of peace-loving multi-colored ponies. That something as horrendous as genocide could be implanted, even contemplated, in the tranquil land of Equestria, let alone under the benevolent rule of Princess Celestia, and carried out for thousands of years, makes this story the most disturbing.

How disturbing is it? As disturbing as witnessing a bus of orphans careen off a cliff and into a sea of jagged rocks and great white shark.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Top 11 Most Disturbing MLP:FiM Fandoms (Honorable Mentions)

I know I must be killing you all in suspense making you wait another day for the #1 entry. I’m doing this for two reasons. First, I haven’t written it yet. (Yeah, embarrassingly enough, the entry isn’t ready today for no good reason other than I’m a lazy bum. But don’t worry: I guarantee it will be ready by tomorrow.)

And secondly, I wanted to feature a few fandoms that didn’t make the official list but are still worth mentioning. So without further ado, here are some honorable mentions:

Image from Minecraft Forum.

Kentucky Fried Pony

As I mentioned in my Cupcakes entry, there were plenty of stories that followed which tried to emulate it but failed to do so. This is one of those stories.

In Kentucky Fried Pony, the Mane Six are invited to the Apple Family’s house for a chicken dinner. (Wait! Since when do ponies eat chicken? Aren’t they herbivores?) Everything seems normal enough until something in the food causes them to black out. The Apple Family then proceeds to take the bodies and chop them up in preparation for another dinner with unsuspecting ponies. (The chicken was really ponies? What a twist!)

And that’s the entire story. I know. Not much to it, and thus not much to talk about. The narrative is extremely rushed, the details are lacking, and the murder comes without buildup and goes without notice, almost like a drive-by shooting. Everything comes and goes in the blink of the eye, which contrasts with the overall suspense of Cupcakes.

I left this story off the list not only because there’s not much to talk about, but because overall it’s not that disturbing. Don’t get me wrong. Seeing Apple Jack and her family go Texas Chainsaw Massacre on her friends is shocking, but if anything, it’s like the shock you get from a bee sting: sure it catches you by surprise and causes some pain, but you eventually get over it and forget about it—much like this story.

And there are other stories I could have discussed such as Rarity’s New Dress and Rarity’s Dinner, but as with this one, they simply fail to emulate the horror of Cupcakes (unlike the other two fanfics at the top of my list).

Image from MLP Wiki.

Foalin’ Around With The CMC

There are bronies out there who really love the Cutie Mark Crusaders—and I mean really love them. Having a fetish for multi-colored ponies is disturbing enough, but having a fetish for underaged multi-colored ponies is sick. Just sick.

This story involves a nameless male human who is magically transported to Equestria and later given the task of babysitting the Cutie Mark Crusaders. (Don’t ask me why Apple Jack or Rarity would give a random human stranger the responsibility of looking after their little sisters.) When the girls decide to obtain their cutie marks in mud wrestling, as can be expected, it’s straight to the tub with them for a bath. What isn’t expected is what transpires next, which I won’t summarize since I don’t feel comfortable describing child porn. All I have to say is that it’s blatantly obvious in a later scene that the author’s favorite pony is Sweetie Belle.

I left this one off the list for obvious reasons. I fear that merely mentioning it involves breaking some sort of child pornography law. I find it disturbing that folks like Megasweet and the guy who wrote this fanfic (HotSauce) not only have the hots for underage filly flank, but they also have a following because of it. I don’t get it. Why aren’t these people in jail.

Image from PonyChan.


I didn’t learn about this artist until after I started making this list. I was considering adding him to it, but didn’t for two reasons.

First, both his deviantART gallery and Tumblr account have since disappeared for reasons unknown, though it could very well have been the nature of some of his art. (Hint: like Johnjoseco and Megasweet, he also liked pony poon!)

And secondly, there’s really not much to say about him other than his artwork is really creepy. It has to be the brushstrokes, which make the characters depicted look realistic, and creepily so. Add in macabre and surreal subject matter, and you have one creepy artist.

And here’s just a few select choices of what little art I could scavenge:

Image from Ponibooru.

Image from Twenty Percent Cooler.

Image from Ponibooru.

Image from MLP Fanart Wiki.

Image from GameInformer.

Man is this art creepy!

But not as creepy as...

Image from Quick Meme.

Pony Sex Toys

They exist. From fleshlights to full-body sex dolls, they exist.

Is there anything else I need to say about that?

Monday, June 18, 2012

This Week In Review (06/18/2012)

This Week In Review (06/18/2012)

Americans still blame Bush more than Obama for bad economy. A Gallup poll released Thursday shows that 68 percent of Americans blame former President George W. Bush for the bad economy over the 52 percent who blame President Barack Obama. And they’re mostly right. It’s hard to argue that slashing taxes while increasing spending through two wars and a Medicare extension didn’t have an effect on the economy. Though to be fair, there were other factors that led to our current economic crisis other than who was sitting in the White House. The recession was a result of several forms of bad legislation, and so the blame for it can be easily spread around, from Federal Reserve chairman Ben “I can’t name a single foreign bank that millions of our taxpayer money went to” Bernanke to House Financial Services Committee chairman Barney “Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are not facing any kind of financial crisis” Frank. And even if Obama didn’t create the economic mess, he and his fellow Democrats have done little, if anything, to clean it up other than pass Keynesian schemes like the economic stimulus. To date, the Democrat-controlled Senate has yet to pass a single budget within three years, and yet it’s Republicans who are to blame for not fixing the economy? Give me a break! Anyone who honestly believes that either of the two mainstream parties cares about the economy is seriously deluding themselves. Neither party gives a crap about us. They only care about profiting from our pain and passing on those profits to their special interest cronies.

Rand Paul proposes bill to prevent warrantless drone surveillance. Earlier this year, the Federal Aviation Administration passed a bill allowing local law enforcement to more easily fly unmanned surveillance aircraft, or “drones.” Civil liberty advocacy groups such as the ACLU have warned that this bill could allow law enforcement to infringe on the privacy of civilians without proper oversight. To prevent such a worst case, last Tuesday Senator Rand Paul introduced legislation that would require law enforcement to obtain a warrant before utilizing drones. You know, I haven’t been trusting of the Good Doctor’s son, considering his many questionable decisions, from his attack against the Ground Zero mosque (which in turn was an attack against property rights and freedom of worship) to his endorsement of Mitt “Flip-Flopper” Romney. But this recent effort against the liberal use of drones, along with his campaign against the TSA, shows that, just like his father, he still cares about the civil liberties of his fellow Americans. The Fourth Amendment guarantees that law enforcement cannot perform a search or arrest without a warrant, but ever since the Patriot Act, they have been able to circumvent due process for the sake of fighting terrorism. Thing have gotten so bad that the Supreme Court seriously deliberated whether or not it was lawful for police to slap a tracking device on a vehicle without a warrant—WITHOUT A WARRANT! (Really a no-brainer there!) But hopefully, Rand Paul will succeed in passing his legislation.

New York fifth grader prohibited from giving gay marriage speech. Kameron Slade had won a class competition and was going to deliver a speech in front of his school PS 195 in Queens, but because the speech was in favor of gay marriage, not only was he barred from giving it, but the principal warned him that he would be dropped from the competition if he didn’t choose a different topic. The good news is that Slade will now be allowed to give his speech during a special school assembly this week. But the fact that he was prevented from speaking in the first place is a sad statement on our education system. If Slade had been a conservative Christian with a speech about protecting traditional marriage between a man and a woman, and the same thing had happened to him, Christians and conservatives across the country would be decrying this as secularist liberals censoring free expression; but because Slade had written a speech about marriage equality, not a stink was made that his freedom of expression was violated. True education demands the free exchange of ideas, no matter how controversial or offensive they may be. When schools start censoring speech, they prevent students from being exposed to new ideas, thereby stunting their overall educational experience. Here’s wishing Slade good luck on his speech. And for anyone who’s interested, a video of his speech can be viewed here on Think Progress. Here’ an excerpt from it: “Some people are for same-gender marriage, while others are against it. Like President Obama, I believe that all people should have the right to marry whoever they want. Marriage is about love, support, and commitment. So who are we to judge? If we judge people like this, this is a form of prejudice. We must learn to accept all differences.” Seriously, who other than homophobic bigots would find this offensive?

Woman sues city of Tulsa for cutting down her edible garden. Denise Morrison received a letter from the city informing her of a complaint against her front and backyard gardens, which contained over 100 different varieties of plants. According to city code, plants cannot exceed 12 inches unless they are grown for consumption. But not only were all of her plants edible, but many of them were grown to treat her arthritis, diabetes, and high-blood pressure. But despite explaining all of this to city inspectors and inviting them over for a tour of her gardens, despite bringing this up with the police, and despite going to court over this, the city sent over officials to tear down most of her plants. She has since filed a lawsuit against the city. Here’s hoping justice will be served. There was no excuse for this to have happened. Her garden was in compliance with city regulations. No one was being harmed because of her plants, but now that the city has torn it all down, they have harmed her by taking away her food supply and treatment for her many ailments. Not only is this an example of government and bureaucratic incompetence, but also a gross violation of property rights. Every human being has a right to his own body and the fruit of his labor which extends from it. If he is not entitled to that, then he is entitled to nothing.

Dumbasses of the Week

Third Place: Jennifer Nagy (Huffington Post): In a recent column, Jennifer Nagy detailed how she met her ex-husband at 19, married him at 24, and divorced him last year. Not wanting anyone else to go through her same ordeal, she suggested that young people under the age of 25 should not be allowed to marry. This would be tolerable if she was merely stating a personal preference, but she seriously believes this should be a legal age limit. In other words, because she had a bad experience marrying under the age of 25 (and really, she was 24 when she married), she wants no one to legally marry under the age of 25. She tries to defend her position by claiming that, because young people are still developing, they are unable to commit to a serious relationship: “While a person may be 100 percent certain that they love something -- or someone -- at the age of 21, by 29, they will most likely completely change their mind.” She then cited statistics about how people who marry between 20 and 25 are more likely to divorce. Even if all of this were true, so what? In a free society, people should be allowed to make their own decisions, regardless of whether or not it may be the right one. If a young couple wants to get married, as long as they are of the age of consent, there should be no reason to deny them the right to do so. I have known many college friends who graduated and married their college sweethearts, and to this day, they are enjoying happy marriages. Yes, some people may end up getting divorced, but that’s just one of the many consequences that come with getting married. This suggestion by Nagy is nothing more than someone trying to force their personal preferences on other people.

Second Place: Virginia Republicans: A few weeks ago, North Carolina banned the measuring of sea level rises; but if you thought that was stupid, Virginia managed to ban the term “sea level rise” altogether. Why? Because according to Virginia Republicans, the term is a “liberal code word.” No geniuses: it’s a scientific term for a scientific phenomenon, namely the rising of sea levels—thus the term “sea level rise”! So rather than use “sea level rise” in future bills, lawmakers will now use the term “recurrent flooding.” Seriously? Was there any real reason to change this word other than the fact that it bothered the political sensibilities of a few scientifically-illiterate politicians? This is political correctness straight up, no different than saying “mentally-challenged” instead of “retarded.” Changing the language does not change reality, not matter how much Virginia Republicans want to deny it.

First Place: Michigan House Republicans: Last Wednesday, Rep. Lisa Brown appeared before the Michigan House of Representatives to speak out against a proposed bill that would have banned abortion after 20 weeks of pregnancy with the exception of saving the life of the mother. After detailing how the bill would have killed jobs and violated the religious beliefs of women like herself, she ended her speech with the following remark: “Finally, Mr. Speaker, I'm flattered that you're all so interested in my vagina, but 'no' means 'no,'” So appalled were the House Republicans by her saying “vagina” that they barred her from voicing her opinion on a school employee retirement bill the next day. Majority Floor Leader Jim Stamas, R-Midland justified this decision by claiming that Brown's use of the word “vagina” violated House decorum. Seriously? The word is a medical term and it was used by Brown in a medical sense. Now if she had used the term in a derogatory manner (like, oh, let’s say “If you seriously think you can get away with passing this bill, you can go and kiss my vagina!”), then she would have been breaking House decorum. But she was clearly referencing female anatomy while discussing a bill concerning female anatomy. Brown herself remarked about how ridiculous this was: "If I can't say the word vagina, why are we legislating vaginas?" Amen, sister!

Top 11 Most Disturbing MLP:FIM Fandoms (#2)

Image from Creepypasta Wiki.

2) Sweet Apple Massacre

While Cupcakes may be disturbing, it can still provide for an interesting read, offering readers somewhat of a guilty pleasure. Sweet Apple Massacre, on the other hand, offers no such pleasure—only pain and suffering.

In the story, Big Macintosh has the three Cutie Mark Crusaders—Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and his sister Apple Bloom—locked in the barn basement where he plans on punishing them for, of all things, making too much noise. He begins by cutting out Apple Bloom’s tongue, rolling it in Sweetie Belle’s vomit, and force feeding it to Scootaloo. If you can stomach reading that sentence alone, then by all means, feel free to read the entire fanfic yourself, because what follows is torture, rape, incest, gore, bodily fluids, cannibalism, and murder so repulsive that I feel I cannot summarize them with a clean conscience or a vomit-free keyboard.

The FanFic Critic said it best when she called this story “like Cupcakes only ten-times worse,” and considering how she reacted in her dramatic reading of it—yeah, the less we say about that the better.

While Cupcakes manages to maintain a cult following, Sweet Apple Massacre has not been as well received. There has been some fan art here and there; but otherwise, this story is universally hated, considered one of the worst Pony stories ever written.

And it’s easy to see why.

With Cupcakes, while it may be unsettling to read about how everyone’s favorite pink pony mutilates her best friend, seeing how much delight she takes in doing so gives us a bit of pleasure in return—albeit guilty pleasure. She may be a sociopathic murderer, but deep down inside, she’s still the same pink pony we all know and love from the show.

Image from Know Your Meme.

The same cannot be said of Big Macintosh. His portrayal in Sweet Apple Massacre is a complete 180 from his character in the show. Gone is the gentle giant of few words, replaced by a cold-blooded sadist. While Pinkie Pie kills for fun, Big Mac kills out of vengeance; and though he may gain some sick pleasure from torturing (even raping) three fillies, we glean no such enjoyment in watching it. When Pinkie kills, it’s an art; when Big Mac kills, it’s a mess. Everyone enjoys art; no one enjoys a mess. And that, by far, is the main difference between the two, and that is why Sweet Apple Massacre is far more disturbing than Cupcakes.

But there’s still one more fandom that is more disturbing that either of those two.

How disturbing is it? As disturbing as watching the meltdown of an internet reviewer wanting to kill her viewers for requesting Sweet Apple Massacre.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Top 11 Most Disturbing MLP:FiM Fandoms (#3)

You knew this was going to be on the list.

From the moment I announced this list, you knew this was going to be at the top.

And here it is…

#3) Cupcakes

Image from Ponibooru.

Written by Sergeant Sprinkles in early 2011, Cupcakes is not only the most infamous My Little Pony fan fiction, but also the most popular. I’m sure most of you are familiar with it, either having read it yourself or having listened to a dramatic reading of it. But for those of you who may be unfamiliar with it, here’s the summary:

Rainbow Dash is invited to Sugarcube Corner to help Pinkie Pie make cupcakes, but after eating one offered to her, gets knocked unconscious. She awakens to find herself strapped to a table in a dark room, where Pinkie tells her that she needs her for a special ingredient—literally! Rainbow Dash assumes this is a prank, but discovers that it’s not when the lights turn on, revealing a room decorated with internal organs as party favors.

Image from Equestria Daily.

Pinkie Pie claims that she’s been killing ponies for a long time, and that she chose Rainbow Dash today because “her number was up.” After donning a dress made of cutie marks, unicorn horns, and pegasi wings, she pulls over a cart of medical instruments and begins working on Dash. She starts by cutting off her cutie marks and wings, then drives nails into her hooves and electrocutes her, and finally finishes her off by cutting her open and harvesting her internal organs.

Image from deviantART.

All the while, Pinkie Pie keeps Rainbow Dash awake with adrenaline shots, chiding her for not being able to bear the pain, saying she had expected more from her, and telling her how much she was looking forward to having her friend over for this. Otherwise, she maintains her cheery disposition, occasionally making a macabre joke. (“I know I can be a real pancreas, but you know I’m just kidney with you. You really got to learn to liver it up. Boy, these jokes are getting bladder. Guess ya gotta develop a stomach for them!”) The story ends with Rainbow Dash dead, her corpse completely eviscerated, and Pinkie Pie congratulating herself for another job well done.

Since the story first gained notoriety, it has garnered a cult following. Multiple alternate versions and sequels have been created by fans, along with fan art, music, videos, and even its own graphic novelization. As with Princess Molestia, the character of Pinkamena Diane Pie has since been ingrained into unofficial Pony canon.

Image from deviantART.

So how did a story about Pinkie Pie mutilating Rainbow Dash obtain such cult status? It’s most likely due to the good writing. Yes, it’s ultimately torture porn based on a pony cartoon, and if it was written any other way, the story would have come across just as cheesy as its premise; but because it’s so well-written, it managed to leave a lasting impression on the fan community. Even if you find the story unsettling, even if it makes you nauseous, the very details within it keep you reading until the very end. Now that’s a sign of good storytelling!

So what makes this story great? Let’s start with our antagonist: Pinkie Pie. Having her as the killer could have easily set her up to act out-of-character, and nothing ruins a fanfic like a character who’s, well, out-of-character. But nowhere in this story does she act any differently than she does in the show. She’s still the same sweet pink pony we all know and love, even when she’s mutilating her best friend. To her, this is just another hobby like baking cupcakes, and she loves every moment of it.

Image from Know Your Meme.

Her eccentric personality and random nature makes her the perfect suspect for a secret killer who chops up ponies in her basement and harvests their organs. You never knew what to expect from her in the show, which makes her portrayal in this story all the more believable. Her portrayal in this story is reminiscent of other psychopaths like the Joker from The Dark Knight, Alex from Clockwork Orange, and perhaps more comparable, Asami Yamazaki from The Audition (If you can find this movie, watch it, and try telling me it wasn’t partially responsible for inspiring Cupcakes).

But a good villain is nothing without a victim. If it were any pony other than Rainbow Dash, this story would have fallen flat, forever doomed to remain forgotten within the mire of bad fanfics. No other pony would have fit the role so perfectly.

Twilight Sparkle? Too obvious. Her logical nature already makes her the foil for Pinkie Pie’s irrationality, and thus having her as the victim would have offered too predictable a reaction.

Fluttershy? Too cliché. As a pony who is afraid of her own shadow, she’s would have been nothing less than your typical damsel-in-distress. The same goes for Rarity. And it’s hard to imagine how Apple Jack would have acted.

Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, is a rough-and-tumble tomboy who’s afraid of nothing and perfectly capable of taking care of herself. So to see her in such a helpless situation elicits all the more sympathy from us and thus makes her role as the victim all the more memorable.

Image from deviantART.

There are many works of art which raise the bar so high that no other work can reach its success, and in the realms of Pony fanfiction, that work of art is Cupcakes. This was a horror fanfic based a little girl cartoon done right. Other stories have been created since then, all trying to emulate it, but all failing to do so. It both created the mold and broke it. Cupcakes was one of those works of art that can only be created once and only once.

Equestria Daily calls Cupcakes “the most brutal and disturbing pony story ever written.” But as you can tell from its placement on this list, there are at least two other fandoms that I consider to be far more disturbing than this. What are they? You’ll have to wait and find out—if you dare!

How disturbing is it? Almost as disturbing as finding a severed finger in your lunch--from home!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Top 11 Most Disturbing MLP:FiM Fandoms (#4)

#4) Luna Game

It’s late at night. You’re surfing the internet bored out of your mind. You go to Equestria Daily. You come across a post with a download link for a game called Luna Game.

You shrug your shoulders. Eh! You have nothing else better to do. So you decide to download the game.

It seems innocent enough: a 2D side-scroller where you play as Luna. The stage layout is mediocre, but at least the stage music is an upbeat remix of Evil Enchantress. Overall, the game doesn’t seem that bad.

Then this image appears:

You piss yourself in terror and begin frantically banging the escape key. But the game won’t exit. Your computer has frozen. It plays screechy music that sounds like someone cutting across a cello with a hacksaw. All the while a psychotic Apple Bloom stares at you with a grin that literally tells you “I’m going to rape your soul.”

You’re just about to turn your computer off in desperation when the game exits.

Thank Celestia that’s over!

Then you discover multiple copies of the game in the game folder, all with that ominous Apple Bloom image.

Don’t worry. This wasn’t a virus. Just a cruel prank.

Shortly after this game was uploaded last year, Equestria Daily passed a new policy banning links to downloadable files.

But if you thought that was creepy, believe it or not, there’s a second game.

Aptly named Luna Game 2, this game is similar to the first one in that you control Luna in a nighttime stage with a europop remix of Giggle at the Ghosties.

Then this image appears:

Holy bleep on a motherbleeping sandwich with bleep on top with a side helping of bleep.

But the game isn't over!

The game continues as you find yourself in a red cave stage with creepy music playing. You come across a hole that leads straight down. With nowhere else to go, you decide to jump into it.

Then everything fades to black and this screen appears:

What do you know: a game you literally can’t win!

And believe it or not, there’s a third game.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, and I must be mentally retarded.

The third game is (what else?!) a platformer where you play as Luna. And the level design is extremely boring in this one. But at least you get to hear a remix of At The Gala—a song that gradually begins to sounds like its playing on a melting record the further you progress through the game.

You soon come across a gap that’s too far to jump across, yet you jump anyway, fall in, and this image appears.

Please God, Pinkie, don’t turn me into cupcakes!

And there’s a fourth game!

Sweet Celestia, who keeps making this crap?

This time, you merely play for a few seconds before you end up falling off a cliff with a “splat” and fade out.

“You’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?” you’re asked before the game ends and you find yourself back in the game’s folder.

When you re-open the game, you come to a black screen with the following text: “It didn’t have to turn out like this…You didn’t have to die…BUT NOW YOU’RE IN MY WORLD.”

Blood splatters across the screen with a blood-curdling cry, and the next thing you know, you see Luna descending into Hell.

No. I’m not making that up.

You actually end up in Hell. Or at least what appears to be Hell. It has to be. After all, you’re dead!

As you progress through Hell, you find yourself being followed by impending darkness which soon engulfs the entire screen.

Then, um, I have no effing clue what happens.

Basically, you end up in a dark cave made of gray blocks that keep appearing and disappearing as the screen constantly fades in and out from black. It appears that you can’t go anywhere, but before you can quit the game, Pinkie Pie appears—and you piss you pants once again.

And guess what? There’s a fifth game!

But don’t worry: this is the last one. And it’s by far the most interesting.

This one, Luna Game 0, is a prequel to the other games, and unlike the others, it actually has a plot to it. As always, you play as Luna. This time, she is instructed by her sister Celestia to make friends. You get to talk with the main six who ask you to perform tasks for them. Twilight wants you to find books, Rarity wants you to find emeralds, Apple Jack wants you to find apples, and so on and so forth.

But once you complete one of these quests, the screen go dark, the music turns creepy, and a menacing image of Nightmare Moon appears. You return to the overworld screen, which is now darker with creepy background music. The other ponies instruct you to see Pinkie Pie, who informs you that she’s holding a party in your honor; but as she talks, the screen goes black, and a voice instructs you to kill her.

And you do!

The next scene is Pinkie Pie asking you “Why?” as her head falls off.

The game ends, but not without the following creeper image.

Believe it or not, these games were the inspiration for Story of the Blanks. And it’s easy to see why. The games start off as innocent platformers but take a dark turn with either a creeper image or a tonal shift of the game. The experience is sure to scar any unsuspecting victim for life—or at least a few days, or weeks, or months, depending on who you are and how easily scared you are.

If you’re looking for a quick scare, go ahead and check these games out. You may think it won’t be as scary now that you read about them, but trust me: playing it firsthand will still scare you witless, perhaps even more so, since now that you know about the scary parts ahead of time, you’ll be in suspense expecting them.

Or you can be a complete prick and share them with an unsuspecting friend. (You sick bastard!)

How disturbing is it? As disturbing as finding a dead cockroach in your refrigerator, but then realizing it's alive.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Top 11 Most Disturbing MLP:FiM Fandoms (#5)

Image from deviantart.

Pony porn!

Is anyone honestly shocked that it exists?

This is the internet. And as we all know, the internet is for porn. And according to Rule #34, if it exists, there’s porn for it. My Little Pony exists; therefore, there’s porn for it.

And no, I’m not going to display any examples on this list—not because I don’t want to, or even because I have a problem with it (more on that later), but because I don’t feel I can do so and maintain a clean conscience.

But if you’re curious, by all means, perform a Google image search with SafeSearch off. If you’re feeling adventurous, check out some of the more raunchy sites like Rule 34. Heck, there are entire sites dedicated to this stuff like Ponibooru or Equestria After Dark.

And quite honestly, I don’t have a problem with it. If you’ve been around the internet like I have, you learn to expect stuff like this, and if you’re the type that’s easily offended by it, well, that’s what mature filters are for.

But as for me, I’m not that bothered by it. In fact, one of my favorite artists, Johnjoseco, has been known to create art on his Love Tommorow Love blog that's "Not Safe For Work" (or NSFW).

For example, the following picture has an alternate NSFW version (which I won't be linking to):

Image from deviantART.

He can get away with drawing porn for two reasons: first, he’s an excellent artist; and two, when he draws it, he always draws characters who can be reasonably assumed to be over the age of consent, and he always portrays them as human. So at least when he draws it, there’s a level of class and taste.

But then there are artists like Megasweet.

#6) Megasweet

Before I completely rip him a new asshole, let me start by saying that his art style is quite interesting, and at least 10 percent of his gallery (and that’s being generous) is okay to look at.

As with Johnjoseco, the following image by Megasweet also has an alternate NSFW version (which I also won't be linking to):

Image from deviantART.

The other 90 percent, however, just makes me feel unclean, like I need a shower after looking at them—and I don’t even feel clean after that!

While Johnjoseco maintains some level of taste with his porn, Megasweet does not. If Johnjoseco is Playboy, Megasweet is Hustler. Pure smut. No class. No taste. No standards. No shame.

Even his non-pornographic images tend to cross the line. Take for instance Futashy, a series of drawings where Fluttershy is a pet to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Yeah, strange consistency: some of the characters are animals (Fluttershy, Big Macintosh, and Spike) who are owned as pets by the other characters depicted as humans (Rainbow Dash, Apple Jack, and Twilight Sparkle).

Image from Ask Futashy.

The misadventures of a pet Fluttershy and her owners is an interesting concept to say the least, sort of along the lines of Garfield or Marmaduke, and it would be decent if not for one major problem: as the name implies, Fluttershy is a futanari.

What’s that you ask? You don’t know what a futanari is?

Good. Spare your innocence and never find out!

No. Seriously. Don’t look it up.

Stop going to the Google bar!

Okay, you really want to know? Fine!

How do I describe this without actually describing it?

I know: here’s a Ray William Johnson song.

Yes, truly disturbing to say the least.

But at least like other porn, Megasweet’s “art” can easily be ignored with mature filters. And to his credit, at least most of the characters he draws can be reasonably assumed to be over the age of consent.

The key word there being “most of the characters.”

You see, I could easily shrug off MegaSweet as another Pony pervert if it weren’t for one reason—one reason I feel cannot be ignored, or even should be ignored.

Three words: Cutie. Mark. Crusaders.

Image from MLP Wiki.

That’s right: MegaSweet has drawn pornography of Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo—three clearly under-aged characters.

Do I even need to explain everything wrong with that?

And I don’t even know what’s worse: the art where they’re depicted as human, or the art where they’re depicted as ponies. Either way, it’s still pedophilia—or rather, pedofillya! This is the type of art that should get MegaSweet a visit from Chris Hansen, not thousands of fans.

And for any Megasweet fanboys out there, please spare me the “but they’re just fictional characters” defense. Fictional or not, an underaged minor is still an underaged minor, and pornography featuring them is still child pornography, which, last time I checked, is illegal. (And while we’re on the subject, so is bestiality!)

If you get your rocks hard over cartoon ponies, fine! That’s your fetish. I’m not here to judge you for it. But when you start drooling over underage filly flank, please keep it between yourself and your psychiatrist! By all means spare the internet! And spare those poor little fillies!

How disturbing is it? As disturbing as seeing your next door neigbor on How To Catch A Predator.