Nuggets of Wisdom

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Top 11 Most Disturbing MLP:FiM Fandoms (#4)

#4) Luna Game

It’s late at night. You’re surfing the internet bored out of your mind. You go to Equestria Daily. You come across a post with a download link for a game called Luna Game.

You shrug your shoulders. Eh! You have nothing else better to do. So you decide to download the game.

It seems innocent enough: a 2D side-scroller where you play as Luna. The stage layout is mediocre, but at least the stage music is an upbeat remix of Evil Enchantress. Overall, the game doesn’t seem that bad.

Then this image appears:

You piss yourself in terror and begin frantically banging the escape key. But the game won’t exit. Your computer has frozen. It plays screechy music that sounds like someone cutting across a cello with a hacksaw. All the while a psychotic Apple Bloom stares at you with a grin that literally tells you “I’m going to rape your soul.”

You’re just about to turn your computer off in desperation when the game exits.

Thank Celestia that’s over!

Then you discover multiple copies of the game in the game folder, all with that ominous Apple Bloom image.

Don’t worry. This wasn’t a virus. Just a cruel prank.

Shortly after this game was uploaded last year, Equestria Daily passed a new policy banning links to downloadable files.

But if you thought that was creepy, believe it or not, there’s a second game.

Aptly named Luna Game 2, this game is similar to the first one in that you control Luna in a nighttime stage with a europop remix of Giggle at the Ghosties.

Then this image appears:

Holy bleep on a motherbleeping sandwich with bleep on top with a side helping of bleep.

But the game isn't over!

The game continues as you find yourself in a red cave stage with creepy music playing. You come across a hole that leads straight down. With nowhere else to go, you decide to jump into it.

Then everything fades to black and this screen appears:

What do you know: a game you literally can’t win!

And believe it or not, there’s a third game.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, and I must be mentally retarded.

The third game is (what else?!) a platformer where you play as Luna. And the level design is extremely boring in this one. But at least you get to hear a remix of At The Gala—a song that gradually begins to sounds like its playing on a melting record the further you progress through the game.

You soon come across a gap that’s too far to jump across, yet you jump anyway, fall in, and this image appears.

Please God, Pinkie, don’t turn me into cupcakes!

And there’s a fourth game!

Sweet Celestia, who keeps making this crap?

This time, you merely play for a few seconds before you end up falling off a cliff with a “splat” and fade out.

“You’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?” you’re asked before the game ends and you find yourself back in the game’s folder.

When you re-open the game, you come to a black screen with the following text: “It didn’t have to turn out like this…You didn’t have to die…BUT NOW YOU’RE IN MY WORLD.”

Blood splatters across the screen with a blood-curdling cry, and the next thing you know, you see Luna descending into Hell.

No. I’m not making that up.

You actually end up in Hell. Or at least what appears to be Hell. It has to be. After all, you’re dead!

As you progress through Hell, you find yourself being followed by impending darkness which soon engulfs the entire screen.

Then, um, I have no effing clue what happens.

Basically, you end up in a dark cave made of gray blocks that keep appearing and disappearing as the screen constantly fades in and out from black. It appears that you can’t go anywhere, but before you can quit the game, Pinkie Pie appears—and you piss you pants once again.

And guess what? There’s a fifth game!

But don’t worry: this is the last one. And it’s by far the most interesting.

This one, Luna Game 0, is a prequel to the other games, and unlike the others, it actually has a plot to it. As always, you play as Luna. This time, she is instructed by her sister Celestia to make friends. You get to talk with the main six who ask you to perform tasks for them. Twilight wants you to find books, Rarity wants you to find emeralds, Apple Jack wants you to find apples, and so on and so forth.

But once you complete one of these quests, the screen go dark, the music turns creepy, and a menacing image of Nightmare Moon appears. You return to the overworld screen, which is now darker with creepy background music. The other ponies instruct you to see Pinkie Pie, who informs you that she’s holding a party in your honor; but as she talks, the screen goes black, and a voice instructs you to kill her.

And you do!

The next scene is Pinkie Pie asking you “Why?” as her head falls off.

The game ends, but not without the following creeper image.

Believe it or not, these games were the inspiration for Story of the Blanks. And it’s easy to see why. The games start off as innocent platformers but take a dark turn with either a creeper image or a tonal shift of the game. The experience is sure to scar any unsuspecting victim for life—or at least a few days, or weeks, or months, depending on who you are and how easily scared you are.

If you’re looking for a quick scare, go ahead and check these games out. You may think it won’t be as scary now that you read about them, but trust me: playing it firsthand will still scare you witless, perhaps even more so, since now that you know about the scary parts ahead of time, you’ll be in suspense expecting them.

Or you can be a complete prick and share them with an unsuspecting friend. (You sick bastard!)

How disturbing is it? As disturbing as finding a dead cockroach in your refrigerator, but then realizing it's alive.