Nuggets of Wisdom

Friday, June 1, 2012

Top 11 Most Disturbing MLP:FIM Fandoms (#11)

Probability dictates that any franchise with predominately female characters will have fan pairings, or shippings, that are predominately lesbian, or yuri. Such is the case with shows like Sailor Moon, Lucky Star, and of course, My Little Pony.

Image from WTF Content.

With six main characters (all female and none able to date themselves), this allows for 25 possible combinations for filly-on-filly action, or “filly-fondling”: Twilight Sparkle/Pinkie Pie, Apple Jack/Rarity, Pinkie Pie/Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash/Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash/Apple Jack, Rainbow Dash/Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash/Rarity, Rainbow Dash/Twilight Sparkle…

Yeah, the rainbow-maned tomboy is the most-shipped character in the series, mostly with characters her own gender—because as we all know, any athletic tomboy with rainbow hair is obviously a dyke! (Even though Lauren Faust has explicitly stated that Rainbow Dash is not a lesbian.)

Image from Ponibooru.

Obviously the lack of male characters and the “love and tolerate” attitude of the Pony fanbase allows for mostly homosexual shippings, which isn’t completely bad (unless you’re homophobic!), but too much of a good thing is too much. Not to sound like a homophobe (I could care less what people do in their bedrooms), but is it too hard to ask for shippings between mares and stallions?

Thankfully, a few heterosexual fan pairings do exist. Anyone who’s seen my Pony Couples collection will know that my favorite shippings include Rainbow Dash/Soarin, Apple Jack/Caramel, Rarity/Spike, and my personal favorite, Fluttershy/Big Macintosh.

Speaking of Big Mac, since he is one of the few male characters in the series, he is also one of the most-shipped ones. Aside from Big Mac/Fluttershy, there’s also Big Mac/Twilight Sparkle, Big Mac/Rainbow Dash, Big Mac/Rarity, Big Mac/Pinkie Pie…

And then, disturbingly enough, there’s Big Macintosh/Apple Jack.

Image from Equestria Daily.

#11: Apple Jack/Big Macintosh Shipping

Yes, believe it or not, there is an actual fan-pairing between Apple Jack and her big brother. A simple Google image search with SafeSearch Off will prove this, if not ruin your perception of the sister/brother relationship.

Somehow this shouldn’t be surprising: Apple Jack and her kin are your typical redneck stereotypes: hard-working, independent, wise-cracking, boisterous, stubborn, and anti-intellectual (“Don’t you use your fancy mathematics!”). So why not throw in incestuous?


Just thinking about it reminds me of Joe Dirt! (“I’m your sister! I’m your sister!” “Oh, you’re my sister!”)

But if you thought the incest was bad enough, try contemplating the possible inbreeding. Just what would happen if Big Mac got his sister pregnant?

Speaking of which, there's a fan theory that Apple Bloom is really the offspring of the two.

Image from Game Informer.

No. I’m not making that up. (But I wish I was!)

The theory goes that, since we never see Apple Jack’s parents in the series, especially in her flashback in Call of the Cutie, it’s possible that Apple Bloom is really the daughter of her and Big Macintosh. Of course, we never see the parents of any of the other characters, or if we do, it’s either for a brief moment or in a flashback (i.e.: Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity). So it’s very likely that Apple Jack does have parents, they either don’t appear on-screen or they live somewhere else with the three Apple siblings living with Granny Smith.

But could Apple Bloom to be the offspring of an incestuous brother/sister relationship? It’s just something I don’t care to think about. Or anyone should care to think about.

But hey, at least it could be worse: it could be a shipping between Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom.

(What? That shipping exists too? What the—?!)

Image from Pony Chan.

How disturbing is it? Almost as disturbing as getting a boner from kissing your sister. (Awkward!)