Nuggets of Wisdom

Friday, November 30, 2012

Daily Pony: Derpy Princess

So if Celestia is the princess of the sun, and Luna is the princess of the moon, and Cadence is the princess of love, what does that make Derpy the princess of? Muffins!

MLP FIM: Derpy Princess - Rejected Design by =hinoraito on deviantART

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Open Thread Thursday: Ayn Rand Was NOT a Libertarian

Before I begin, I must clarify that I am not a Randian. I have not read any of Ayn Rand’s books or her writings. I have watched videos of her, and from what I have seen, she was a very intelligent thinker. I don’t agree with all of her ideas or beliefs, mostly because she was an atheist, and I am a Christian. (I especially take umbrage with her thoughts on Christian charity.) But for the most part, I somewhat admire her.

What I find most intriguing is how many of the people who admire Rand and her philosophy tend to be people she hated. For example, many Republicans (especially Paul Ryan) laud her for her economics, even though she despised the Republican Party and urged her followers not to vote for Ronald Reagan.

Also, many libertarians claim her as their own, even though she not only disagreed with libertarians, but outright hated them. Washington’s Blog elucidates with the following quotes:

All kinds of people today call themselves “libertarians,” especially something calling itself the New Right, which consists of hippies, except that they’re anarchists instead of collectivists. But of course, anarchists are collectivists. Capitalism is the one system that requires absolute objective law, yet they want to combine capitalism and anarchism. That is worse than anything the New Left has proposed. It’s a mockery of philosophy and ideology. They sling slogans and try to ride on two bandwagons. They want to be hippies, but don’t want to preach collectivism, because those jobs are already taken. But anarchism is a logical outgrowth of the anti-intellectual side of collectivism. I could deal with a Marxist with a greater chance of reaching some kind of understanding, and with much greater respect. The anarchist is the scum of the intellectual world of the left, which has given them up. So the right picks up another leftist discard. That’s the Libertarian movement.


I’d rather vote for Bob Hope, the Marx Brothers, or Jerry Lewis [than a candidate from the Libertarian Party].


[Libertarians] are not defenders of capitalism. They’re a group of publicity seekers who rush into politics prematurely, because they allegedly want to educate people through a political campaign, which can’t be done. Further, their leadership consists of men of every of persuasion, from religious conservatives to anarchists. Moreover, most of them are my enemies: they spend their time denouncing me, while plagiarizing my ideas. Now, I think it’s a bad beginning for an allegedly pro-capitalist party to start by stealing ideas.


Now here is a party that plagiarizes some of my ideas, mixes it with the exact opposite—with religionists, anarchists, and just about every intellectual misfit and scum they can find—and they call themselves Libertarians, and run for office. I dislike Reagan and Carter; I’m not too enthusiastic about the other candidates. But the worst of them are giants compared to anybody who would attempt something as un-philosophical, low, and pragmatic as the Libertarian Party. It is the last insult to ideas and philosophical consistency.


[Question] Why don’t you approve of the Libertarians, thousands of whom are loyal readers of your works?

[Rand] Because Libertarians are a monstrous, disgusting bunch of people: they plagiarize my ideas when that fits their purpose, and they denounce me in a more vicious manner than any communist publication, when that fits their purpose. They are lower than any pragmatists, and what they hold against Objectivism is morality. They’d like to have an amoral political program.


The Libertarians aren’t worthy of being the means to any end, let alone the end of spreading Objectivism.
You would think that, as a libertarian, I would be disappointed but this, but personally, I’m not. If anything, this only proves how much Ayn Rand was a champion of independent thought.

Too often, we libertarians pride ourselves as being “individuals,” but when it comes to political philosophy, we tend to be highly collectivist, if not cultish. By criticizing libertarians, Rand proved that she was a true independent thinker who refused to succumb to group think, and for that, she truly is admirable.

But I want to know what you think: What are your thoughts on Ayn Rand? How do you feel about her opinions on libertarians and libertarianism? Does it change your perception of her at all? Do you agree with her assessment or not? Feel free to post your response in the comments below.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Daily Pony: Bad Seed

A take on Babs Seed and her life in Manehatten:

Bad Seed by *atryl on deviantART

Libtalker Calls For Beheading Of Conservatives

Yet more violent rhetoric from the "tolerant" left:

“…these Tea Bag bastards who by the way, I just wish they would all just go away – or, like in Passover, I just wish there was an angel of the Lord that would pass over – instead of killing the first born in all the households of Egypt just wipe out all the Tea Baggers,” Malloy said. “Just, you know, the terrible swift sword, just [makes simulated sword "swishing" sounds] – lob their heads off!”
Hey, remember when Beck or Limbaugh called for the beheading of Democrats on their radio shows? Yeah, me neither!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

"One Bad Apple" Review

Starting with this episode, I decided to revise how I write my reviews. Normally, I just list all my thoughts in bullet form; but from this point on, I will be organizing them in a more coherent order, dividing them topic-by-topic.

With that said, here is the episode and my thoughts on it:

One Bad Apple


• One of Apple Bloom’s outfits is a pair of lederhosen. I wonder if it’s from her Uncle Apple Strudel introduced in “Family Appreciation Day.”
• Another outfit of her’s looks like what Fluttershy used to disguise herself in public in “Green Isn’t Your Color.”
• As we see in this episode, Apple Jack has a bad habit of unintentionally forgetting to mention important information.
• Scootaloo flies, Sweetie Belle uses a little bit of magic, and Apple…builds a float I guess. So all the Cutie Mark Crusaders are maturing, sort of.
• Apple Bloom, of course a male conductor and cow is not your cousin!
• At the start, Babs seems kind of shy, which only makes her transformation all the more startling, if not confusing and contrived.
• “Lame-kin”? How lame!
• Scootaloo: “I can’t believe she destroyed our float.” Apple Bloom: “I can’t believe I’m related to a big, stinky bully.” I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BUTTER! (Sorry! Had to make the joke!)
• The Cutie Mark Crusaders bobbing their heads in the song = EXTREMLEY CUTE!
• Doctor Whooves is watching the movie with a female friend. Sadly, it's not Derpy! :(
• Is it just me, or does the animated soda cup remind anyone else of Bloo from Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends? They both have the same shade of blue.
• Sweetie Belle and her family live near the lake next to a windmill.
• It seems as though Sweetie Belle’s father either eats her cooking as a snack, or he uses it as bait for his fishing.
• Apple Bloom wasn’t kicked out of her own bed. Apple Jack said she was going to sleep there in the beginning.
• Something tells me the cow doesn’t take too kindly to someone mimicking her species’ call.
• Apparently, Rarity has luster dust on her emergency edible boots. And she has emergency edible boots! What?
• The A-Team theme plays while the CMC build their float.
• Three school-aged foals are able to build a motorized float with a timed booby trap. How many kindergartens do you know are able to build something like that?
• The tomato vendor from “Putting Your Hoof Down” is selling hot carrot cakes.
• And we see the other Mane Six and Spike—for five seconds—without any lines. I love these CMC episodes!
• Roseluck appears in the parade dressed as a rose bush.
• BonBon appears twice in the crowd while the CMC chase the float.
• Apparently, the town is on a cliff before a lake.
• Doctor Whooves wears a pear costume. (But, he hates pears!)
• Apple Bloom states my thoughts on Pinkie’s attempt at a joke exactly: “Seriously?”
• Sweetie Belle: “Oh why does life have to be so ironic?!” Because the writers made it that way.
• Scootaloo plays one mean drum!
• And Scootaloo should also revise her list. Way too long!


• So did Scootaloo keep Babs’ eyes covered all the way from the train station to the treehouse? If so, that’s kind of dangerous.
• Do the CMC really need a list for a roll call? There are only three members.
• How did three young fillies manage to make such a large and complicated float?
• So do Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon just go onto other people’s property uninvited just to mock them? I can only assume that Filthy Rich is visiting Granny Smith again and brought his daughter and her friend along.
• This YouTube comment sums up my feelings about this episode: "I know she's young and s*** but how can you be so heartless to choose a bunch of bitchy strangers over your own family?"
• I can sort of understand Babs Seed joining with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, but flat-out destroying the CMC’s float? That’s going a bit far, isn’t it?
• How is Apple Bloom going to avoid talking to Apple Jack about Babs? Considering Babs is staying with them, wouldn’t AJ notice the tension between the two?
• This is the part that bugs me the most: I never understood why DT and SS would want to hang out with Babs, considering she doesn’t have a Cutie Mark, and they hate ponies without Cutie Marks.
• How is Babs and the others going to get down from the treehouse if she knocked down the ladder?
• Why did Scootaloo blow luster dust on Sweetie Belle? What was the point of that?
• If Pinkie Pie was participating in the parade, why was she in the crowd earlier?
• Why did Pinkie leave the float unmanned while the CMC entered it? Did she assume they were going to drive it?
• Does Pinkie Pie seem too desperate for a pun?
• Why wasn’t it Feather Weight taking pictures at the crash? He’s the school photographer.


• Apple Bloom: “This is really a good spot for thinking up great ideas.”
• Apple Bloom: “What just happened?”
Sweetie Belle: “I think Babs just went to the Dark Side.”
• Sweetie Belle: “Isn’t it smashing. No! I mean, isn’t it a hit? No! No! No hitting!”
• Diamond Tiara: “Too cool for mule!”
• Pinkie Pie: “Veggie Salad! Veggie Salad!”
• Apple Bloom: “Perhaps we’ll get our cutie marks in stupidest idea of all times.”
• Sweetie Belle: “Oh why does life have to be so ironic?!”


• Sweetie Belle: I’m so excited, I think I can burst!” (Fireworks from horn)
• Apple Bloom “And sometimes we stand right here and think of great ideas.” (Light turns on over Sweetie Belle’s head)
• The animated food in the movie theater and Babs seed breaking the Fourth Wall.
• The CMC dressed as pigs, and Babs as a wolf!
• Sweetie Belle crying and Apple Bloom shielding herself with an umbrella.
• Scootaloo with an ink stain on her rump she mistakes as a wrench cutie mark.
• Apple Bloom positioning the mattress in the exact spot that Babs was going to shove them.
• The balloons deflating when Apple Jack congratulates the CMC.
• The CMC emblem falls off when DT and SS make fun of them.


“Babs Seed” is the best song in the season thus far. Sure, it’s the third song, and we still have nine episodes to go, but on its own, this is a good song. The entire song is upbeat and reminiscent of the 50s and 60s, especially with the opening scene in the malt shop. The chorus is the most memorable part, as it remains in your head even hours or days after you listen to it. And of course, the animation that goes with it is cute. Overall, this was an awesome song, and I can see why the composer David Ingram said it was his favorite song to produce. This was certainly my favorite song to listen to. (Oh, and apparently, it has a hard rock version. That’s 20 percent cooler!)

Open Thread Tuesday: Time's Person of the Year

Time Magazine recently released its list of nominees for its "Person of the Year." The full list can be viewed here, and voting can be done here.

It should be obvious whom I'm voting for: the Good Doctor! But I wan to know who you want to be Time's "Person of the Year." Go and vote for your choice, then leave a comment in the section below and tell us who you chose and why.

Fed Seizes Half Of Raisin Producers’ Crop

While skimming the news, I sometimes forget what time period I’m living in. The fact that I’m reading the news on either an iPhone or iPad reminds me this is the 21st Century, but news stories about politicians discussing medieval concepts such as “legitimate rape” makes me question whether or not this is really the 12th Century, and articles such as this where farmers are forced to fork over half of their crops to the powers that be makes me wonder if we’re still living under feudalism:

Tis the season to give thanks. And for the last 80 years, the federal government has required raisin producers to “give thanks” for the privilege of selling their raisins nationally by requiring them to fork over up to half of their raisins – for free. A lawsuit raising a constitutional challenge to the program has now made its way to the U.S. Supreme Court. The case is Horne v. Department of Agriculture.

The program, operated by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, has a rather Orwellian-sounding name – the “Raisin Marketing Order.” In a nutshell, under this program, every year, as a condition for “letting” farmers sell their raisin crops in interstate commerce, the federal government has taken up to 47% of the farmers’ raisins – often for no payment at all, or below the cost of producing the raisins. The program has its origins in Great Depression efforts to fix the prices of agricultural crops. Don’t care much for raisins? Similar programs cover a variety of other agricultural products, such as walnuts, almonds, prunes, tart cherries – and cranberries! That’s something to chew on as you sit down to your Thanksgiving meal tomorrow.
I can understand being required to pay taxes to fund the government services and infrastructure that businesses utilize every day, but being required to hand over a portion of your wares directly to the government? I thought appeasing government officials with the fruits of your labor was something serfs did on behest of their feudal lords. Again, is this the 21st century or the 12th?

The rest of the story details one brave couple’s struggle to challenge this program under the Constitution's “Takings Clause," a seven-year struggle that has made it all the way to the Supreme Court. I’d like to think that the Court will rule in favor of private property and due process, but considering cases such as Kelo v. New London, such a ruling seems highly unlikely.

And I don't know what's worse: the fact this draconian program exists, or the possibility that libtarded moonbats support it. “Well of course farmers need to give half of their crops to the government. They didn’t grow those crops. The government helped them grow it. Because social contract. Economic justice. Fairness. Equality. Selfishness. Elizabeth Warren.”

And to think they accuse anyone who doesn’t think like them of supporting feudalism. The irony is just too painful!

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Daily Pony: Pony Play by Play - Crystal Empire

A humorous recap of "The Crystal Empire" written by my friend VVraith on deviantART.

Warning: Do not read this if you are easily prone to uncontrolled bouts of laughter when exposed to good satire, especially if it's the abridged series created by Little Kuriboh or Team Four Star. This sheet is just that effing funny! You will laugh!

Friday, November 23, 2012

"Too Many Pinkie Pies" Review

MLP Wiki

Yeah, I know it's late—six days late!—but you know what they say: better later than never. Overall, this was a laugh-out-loud hilarious episode that more than makes up for the disappointing two-parter that opened this season.

Here is the episode along with my thoughts on it:

Too Many Pinkie Pies

• Seeing Twilight misfire her spell after Pinkie jumps her raise an important question: why is Twilight practicing her spells outside in public where they can easily miss and hurt someone?
• Pinkie: “Whatcha doing” (Anyone else reminded of Phineas and Ferb?)
• Anyone else find Rarity’s cloak more attractive than her actual dress? (Or is it just me?)
• Also, does Rarity asking “No?” remind anyone else of Fifi from Tiny Toons? (Or is it just me?)
• Spike: “We weren’t going to turn her into an orange. I swear!” (Favorite line in the episode!)
• Apparently, in Equestria, fog is created by clouds that become too heavy, as opposed to water simply evaporating and condensing near the ground.
• Also, why didn’t Rainbow Dash think of spinning around the cloud to thin it out? She is the fastest pegasus in Equestria. It would have been much easier for her than to simply beat it with her tail.
• Apple Jack and Apple Bloom say nothing. Uh, I too have nothing to say about it.
• Does Pinkie gasping for air remind anyone else of a gasping fish?
• Pinkie: “Are you doing anything fun?” Fluttershy: “Not especially.” (Angel: “What am I? Chop liver?”)
• Why does Fluttershy have a couch for butterflies? (And why does it look like Rarity’s couch?)
• Fluttershy: “I can promise not to do anything fun at all if that will help.” LOL!
• Pinkie exits to the left (away from Dash). Dash enters from the right. Inconsistency?
• Didn’t Applejack build a barn in the last season in “Lesson Zero.” Okay, technically, she had Rainbow Dash destroy an old barn in order to build a new one. So does this episode follow that one chronologically? Or does the Apple Family have more than one barn?
• Again, with the misfire, why does Twilight practice her magic outside in public where she can accidently hurt someone?
• Twilight mentions “Wide Wide World of Equestria” while Pinkie holds a stopwatch. Sports reference?
• The only way for Pinkie to be in two places at once is if there were more of her to go around…or if she uses a Time Turner to turn back time so she can participate in both events. (Guess that reference!)
• And LOL! at her clock-like animation while thinking.
• If the Legend of the Mirror Pool is real, how come no other pony but Pinkie knows about it? (I guess for the same reason no one else knew about Nightmare Moon’s release or the Crystal Empire.)
• “Ah Pinkie, you have got to stop talking to yourself…starting now!”
• Okay, it’s here I have to wonder how the Mirror Pool works. We see Pinkie enter the pool, only to see her pop up on the other side and see another Pinkie—yet it’s implied that the Pinkie that popped out of the pool is the clone and the real Pinkie is standing on the water’s edge. This raises a lot of questions, and will no doubt be exploited by the fan theorists.
• Question: why does the real Pinkie have to explain who her friends are and where Ponyville is to her clone? If her clone is an exact replica of her, shouldn’t it also have the same knowledge as her?
• Pinkie goes “Squee!”
• “I’m off to double my fun.” Double your pleasure, double your fun, it’s the statement of the great mint in Doublemint gum!
• Rainbow Dash is still reading her Daring Doo book! Wait, didn't she already finish that one?
• Pinkie is able to blow up her inflatable ring before landing in the pool.
• Confusing conversation with Pinkie is confusing!
• Be careful how you pick your berries, Fluttershy. You may end up picking a bear’s, um, berries. (Guess the reference!)
• Is that the same bear Fluttershy kicked the crap out of in “Lesson Zero?”
• Wouldn’t it have been interesting, if not disturbing, if Pinkie had not eaten the cheese, but rather the mouse?
• Pinkie: “Walls are closing in.” Fluttershy: “Walls? But, we’re outside.” Pinkie Pie—the only pony who recognizes the fourth wall.
• Rainbow Dash is skeptical about Pinkie Pie’s duplicates. Um, this is a world where the sun and moon are controlled by royalty and where messages are delivered via dragon’s breath. I think a pond that can create duplicates is not outside the realm of possibilities here.
• (After Pinkie lands in the water gently) Dash: “How did you do that?” Pinkie: “Just trying to show some consideration.” Good enough an explanation for me.
• I could point out all the "double" gags in this episode, but then we would be here all day.
• One of the clones eats a wild toadstool. Nothing good ever came from that.
• "Fun! Fun! Fun!" ("Mine! Mine! Mine!")
• Again, if these are her clones, they why do they have to be taught who her friends are? Shouldn’t they also have the same knowledge as her?
• One of the Pinkie’s at the pond is banging a drum. She keeps going, and going, and going, and…
• One of Apple Jack’s relatives is Lickety Split from “The Secret of My Excess.”
• Is a Pinkie clone dancing Gangam Style in the barn door?
• One of the ponies in the angry crowd is Jazz.
• And the mob just waits outside while Twilight searches her library. Talk about patient.
• Spike finds the book with the Legend of the Mirror Pool in a secret compartment behind the bookshelf. I feel this may be setting up something for this season (as much fan speculation has surrounded Luna’s book at the end of the last episode, also hinting something big in this season), but I have to ask: if the legend is in a secret book, than how did Pinkie’s nana know about it?
• Fancy Pants appears in Ponyville—with a smashing bowler hat, I must say!
• You know it’s bad when the real Pinkie can’t tell who the real Pinkie is.
• One of the Pinkies in the background is bouncing like she did in “Baby Cakes.”
• Funny how the depressed Pinkie isn’t acting or looking like Pinkamena. That is how she normally looks when she is depressed.
• It’s bad when the real Pinkie sees the flaw within her own proposed test.
• Apparently, all the woodland critters live in the same tree—with modern amenities, no less!
• Apple Jack and her family round up the other Pinkies like cattle.
• Interesting how Macintosh and Apple Bloom say nothing in this episode.
• Watching paint dry? LOL!
• Only Spike can get excited about watching others watching paint dry.
• Rainbow Dash has a Wonderbolts watch!
• Does seeing Pinkie Pie inflate remind anyone else of Mrs. Puff from Spongebob? (Oh, Spongebob, why?)
• AH! Ponies with fingers!
• AH! Pony with a G3 Face! (Jesus Christ how horrifying!)
• Even the real Pinkie has to double check to make sure she is the real one!
• Pinkie’s bedroom is downstairs? Isn’t it supposed to be upstairs?
• Of course they close away the mirror pond at the end. (Though why is Big Mac there?)
• Pinkie Pie sleeps and shakes her hoof like a dog.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Play by *ViralJP on deviantART

Happy Turkey Day, everypony! Hope you enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends, and be sure to give thanks for everything and everyone you are thankful for today!

Here's to the beginning of the Christmas season, too! Be sure to pick up some great deals tomorrow. But be careful: Black Friday crowds tend to be madhouses!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Who Cares How Old Rubio Thinks The Earth Is?

Marco Rubio became the target of scorn following an interview where he said that he was "not a scientist" when it came to the age of the earth, which he considered "one of the great mysteries":
GQ: How old do you think the Earth is?
Marco Rubio: I'm not a scientist, man. I can tell you what recorded history says, I can tell you what the Bible says, but I think that's a dispute amongst theologians and I think it has nothing to do with the gross domestic product or economic growth of the United States. I think the age of the universe has zero to do with how our economy is going to grow. I'm not a scientist. I don't think I'm qualified to answer a question like that. At the end of the day, I think there are multiple theories out there on how the universe was created and I think this is a country where people should have the opportunity to teach them all. I think parents should be able to teach their kids what their faith says, what science says. Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries.
I may be a Floridian but I'm no fan of Rubio, what with him being a fan of wiretapping American citizens and banning gays from the military. But I personally loved his approach to this question, which I felt was the correct approach.

Because whether or not Rubio believes the earth is six thousand years old or six billion is of little consequence to his other political positions. It says nothing about his stances on the military or the economy or the Constitution or any other subject he will actually have a say in as a politician.

Because that's what the man is: a politican, not a scientist. In the end, we're electing him to lead the country, not teach a science class. And as a voter, I care more that he was a co-sponsor of PIPA rather than a young-earth creationist. His stance on civil liberties is far more disturbing to me than his stance on geology. And that's what most Americans should find disturbing about him.

This is the same problem I had with criticisms against Ron Paul. To many moonbats, especially atheists, it did not matter that he was consistent with his principles, or that he wasn't bought and paid for by special interests: the fact that he believes human beings were created six thousand years ago made him unelectable.

Who cares if Ron Paul doesn't believe in evolution? He also doesn't believe in warrantless wiretapping or enhanced interrogation techniques or pre-emptive wars or corporate bailouts or prosecuting whistleblowers or drug prohibition or internet censorship or drone strikes or targeted assassinations or indefinite detention. Meanwhile, Obama believes in all of that stuff AND evolution.

Gee, it's almost as if scientific literacy or religious belief has no bearing on political performance, like politics and science and religion are all separate topics that have no relevance to one another. Too bad many Americans can't keep religion separate from politics, let alone church separate from state.

Foamy The Squirrel: Unionized Twinkies Rapture

Everyone's favorite animated squirrel rants about how Twinkies are no more "because some jerkoff union leader decided to tell all the Hostess workers to go on strike."

Unions were valuable back in the day when your average worker was getting royally-screwed over by the man. As the years went on, unions fought long and hard for worker's rights to fair wages and so on. They were an essential part of the worker's movement in the United States.

However, fair wages is not like a thousand grand a year for baking a Twinkie. The problems with unions is that they have reinforced this self-entitlement mentality among workers. The wages became obscene, the demands absurd, and before you know it, "Big Bad Mister Man" didn't have enough money to pay their employees. So what happens? Layoffs! People lose their jobs!

Now, in the case of Twinkies, from what I read, the folks at Hostess wanted to do an eight percent pay cut to keep the factories open. Personally, I'd be kind of pissed taking any kind of payoff. But the reality of the world is we're kind of economically fucked right now. So, instead of logically taking into consideration America's economical climate, everyone went on strike, no one worked, and Hostess, even though they warned everyone that they would have to close their doors permanently if they didn't go back to work, had to do just that: they closed their doors. No one's working! All because everyone got greedy!

The Painful Irony

If anyone is honestly astonished by Obama's hypocrisy at this point, they haven't been paying attention. And they probably voted for him! It would explain how he managed to gain a second term, despite his long history of saying one thing and doing another. It makes me sick!

Daily Pony: Is She The Real One Or Isn't She?

What if Twilight accidently sent the real Pinkie Pie into the lake?

Yes, I know I've yet to upload my review of the new episode. I've been away. I should have it up sometime tommorow.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Why Is It Okay To Kill A Cow, But...

[Warning: The following blog post contains disturbing imagery, sexual content, and naughty language. If you are easily offended by any of that, please stop reading now. Otherwise, proceed with extreme caution. You have been warned.]

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. Sometimes you'll find a piece of chocolate with an almond in it, another with coconut, another with nougat. And sometimes you'll find what appears to be chocolate, but once you pop that morsel in your mouth, you discover too late that it's really a turd.

Same thing goes with Reddit. On rare occasions, you'll find a thread with rational, intellectual discussion. But most of the time, you'll run across a thread catering to the lowest-common denominator, riddled with racism, misogyny, and other forms of creepiness.

Such is the case with a recent Ask Reddit thread contemplating why it's okay to kill a cow but not to have sex with it.

No. I'm not making that up.

This is the actual question posed in the title: Why is it okay to kill a cow but the second you have sex with it it is animal cruelty?

Now before you start worrying about the moral decay of society and the possibility of people one day having interspecies orgies in the street, I should remind you that the internet is not serious business. This question and the answers that follow could possibly be only a sick joke. This redditor could very well be a troll--or he could be genuinely clueless about the moral status of bestiality.

Either way, while it is tempting to assume that the internet is inidcative of reality as a whole, it really isn't. The majority of the internet only represents a tiny fraction.

It should also be remembered that people in public are much more reserved than they are on-line. In real life, if someone were to stir up conversation at a cocktail party by asking whether or not sex with a cow was moral, the other socialites would probably respond by pummeling his ass to the floor before casting him out of the country club (and society as a pariah). But thanks to the anonymity of the internet, folks can say and ask things they wouldn't otherwise have been able to in real life.

With that said, hopefully you all will feel slightly more comfortable (but only slightly) diving into this subject matter--this peverse, sick subject matter.

Here's the question in full (with snarky commentary):
Ok before you downvote me into oblivion at least hear me out (I'm listening.)

I am not a vegetarian or into bestiality (Because refusing to eat animals is the same as wanting to make whoopee to them.)

But i read a news article (Citation please.) about a guy who had sex with one of his cows and he was sent to prison and all his animals were taken away from him under the guise of animal cruelty. (That sentence is in desperate need of commas.) I found it kind of hypocritical that if he had shot the cow in the head with a bolt-gun, skinned it, cut out its internal organs and ate them no one would even bat an eyelid, (Because most of us see animals as food, not potential love partners.) he could have used a giant rubber dick to forcibly impregnate it so it would lactate and then kill its child to make veal and this would not be considered cruelty. (Because at least you would have put it out of its misery first before you ate it.)

Yet an act that cause neither the animal nor human harm is a felony (I consider sex without consent to be harm.)

Seems kind of hypocritical in my opinion. (No, it isn't.)

Thoughts? (Yes: What asylum did you escape from and who can I call to report you?)
Now an intellectually-honest and rational response to this would be that animals are unable to communicate consent, and therefore, sex with animals would constitute rape, which is illegal.

But this is Reddit, and they don't take too kindly to reason and rationality. So instead, we get nuggets of wisdom like this:
I think it's because a lot of laws are not based on acts of aggression or property violation, but on deviating from accepted norms. The deviant sexual nature of having sex with a cow/sheep/goat/pig disturbs people, and so laws are written to punish such behavior. It's not about violating the animal, because let's face it, a cow probably doesn't give a shit if you rape it with your little human cock. A cow will literally chew on a screw and swallow it and not give a shit. They are unfathomably tough and stupid animals. We've bred them that way.
Oh yes, let's ignore the legal concept of consent and assume that society only criminalizes bestiality because, well, it makes people feel iffy.

And apparently, making love to Bessie is a-okay because cows and other animals are too stupid to realize what's happening to them. By that logic, that also makes sex with toddlers and comatose patients legit too!

Then again, this is the same site where pedoforks congregate and creepers post underage upskirt shots. So I wouldn't be surprised if redditors actually think that way.

And speaking of pedophilia, here's another gem about the topic:
Why is it suddenly okay for a 40 year old man to have sex with a girl the day she turns 18? Any younger and it's pedophilia or underage whatever. I don't approve of child molesters or pedophiles and shit, but if the person is willing and able to fuck, why is it considered indecent? Because the lawmakers didn't want their coworkers porking their 14 year old daughters, this has been the way it has been done for a couple centuries now. I don't know when, but I'm pretty sure some time ago pre-teens were sold to rich men as wives (I'm talking colonial America, not that long ago). But since then it's become immoral and illegal.
So now the discussion has switched from debating bestiality to debating pedophilia. How do you go from sex with animals to sex with children? Evil Knievel could not have made that jump!

Again, let's ignore consent and assume that pedophilia is only illegal because sexual prudes (and most human beings with common decency) claim it's wrong. Because after all, once upon a time, not only did people smile upon screwing little children, but also selling them as sex slaves. But now everyone is all frowny face about it! Seriously, what is up with that? It's like we morally progressed or something. (More on this arguement later.)

But oh wait! There's more to that comment:
Another final thought on this issue. Why can a 14 year old boy have sex with a 14 year old girl, and it's not wrong, it's normal. But should he have naked pictures of her on his phone, it's underage porn. Should he look up underage girls (his age, not babies or kids) he could get in a lot of trouble if caught. Weird to me.
I know, right? How weird is it to make naked photos of underage girls illegal. It's not like that stuff can be shared on the internet for everyone (underage or not) to see. It's not like we recently had a teenage girl commit suicide because indecent photos of her were leaked to the internet. Nope. It's all just too weird!

But let's go back to the subject of bestiality.

As was mentioned before with pedophilia, most argue that it shouldn't be considered immoral now because, hey, it wasn't always considered immoral:
It's fairly amazing just how fast and recently we've changed our view on bestiality isn't it? It was fairly accepted for thousands and thousands of years, across multiple continents and religions. Then poof, people stopped living in rural areas and started pretending to be 'clean.'

The human psych is truly fascinating.
Yes, truly fascinating indeed. It's like we humans have this ability to morally progress as a species, that actions we once deemed moral can suddenly be considered immoral (i.e.: slavery) and vice-versa (i.e.: gay marriage).

And speaking of religion:
Damn, Christians taking away all the fine ass goat pussy.
Yes, damn those Christians for systematically persecuting zoophiles the same way they've persecuted homosexuals--even though one form of persecution was against consensual sex with the same gender while the other was against non-consensual sex with animals. Same thing, damn it!

Besides, bestiality should not be considered illegal because it's not in other countries. Like Denmark:
In Denmark we actually get a lot of sex tourism because the law here does not prevent you from having sex with an animal as long as you do not harm it. This means that cows, sheep and other large animals that wont feel it or wont be hurt by it are okay, but small animals like dogs, cats, and chicken are not.
And now Denmark no longer seems all that progressive to me anymore. Any country with the same moral compass as Appalachia is not progressive. Then again, neither is a country that has a state church and monarchy.

And now I've saved the worst for last. If you haven't bailed out on me to rush to the bathroom and vomit, we now come to the part of the thread where redditors flat-out confess to having sex with animals.

Again, I'm not making this up.

Take this guy for example who admits having sex with his horse. (On a related note, did anyone see the new episode of My Little Pony?):
As a zoophile I have to agree with you. 
My mare is perfectly capable of letting me know if she is in the mood or not, and I respect her choice. After all she can defend herself with her teeth and hooves, I never experienced this though.  
She also gets moody and sexually frustrated at times when I can't 'see her'.  
We also have a strong bond of trust from over the years. I truly love her.
I want to make fun of that, but I can't. How do you ridicule something that is already ridiculous. It's like trying to make fun of Sarah Palin or Dubya. You just repeat what they say and laugh.

Of course, in this case, the laugh is not in response to how absurd this is, but to cover up how uncomfortable you feel about it. That's all you can do: laugh. Otherwise, you'll breakdown.

Of course, some redditors drew the line here and rightfully expressed disgust. Others went to his defense:
You have reacted with disgust, which is fine. But should you prosecute this man based on what he has said?
And that's not the worst part:
I say no we shouldn't prosecute this man because he likes to screw horses, because it is a waste of fucking resources that could be better allocated buying books for classrooms and stuff like that. Seriously why does the government waste it's time on stupid shit like this. There are people starving to death on the street and we are worried about a guy who plays with a horses naughty bits. /rant
You know, this argument would be more applicable if it were against a real waste of police resources like prosecuting weed smokers, but this is about people raping horses. I don't think the local police force is obsessed with cracking down on horse "lovers."

And with that, I'm done. I draw the line with people admitting to riding their horses bareback.

If you have a strong stomach and strong enough faith with humanity, feel free to read the rest of the thread yourself. Just keep a puke bucket at arm's reach just in case.

Reddit can be a real sick place. But it's a good study of the depravity of the human spirit. So it's both enlightening and vomit-inducing at the same time.

Daily Pony: Wreck-it Ralph

Yesterday I saw Wreck-it-Ralph--and it was awesome! This is by far the best Disney movie yet. Directed by Rich Moore. Produced by John Lasseter. Featuring the voice of Sue Sylvester from Glee. And jam-packed with video game references and cameos. If you haven't seen it, do it now while it's still in theaters. This is especially a must-see if you're a retro video game fan. I guarantee!

With all that said, here's a pony-related comic:

Wreck-it Ralph by =Niban-Destikim on deviantART

Anyone else creeped out by Mickey's rape face?

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Daily Pony: Practice

With Twilight having used dark magic in the first two episodes, who else is thinking that this season may see her turn to the dark side?

Practice by ~Aurarrius on deviantART

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Daily Pony: Lord of the Rings Re-enacted by Ponies

Pinkamena is best Gollum!

Open Thread Tuesday: Why Do You Watch Me?

It’s been three years since I started my blog and deviantART account, and since then, I’ve gained quite the following. So my question to you all would be: why do you watch me? What do you like most about me? My art? My blog posts? Just my opinions? How about my love for Ponies? What is it that you like? Leave your answers in the comments section below.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Daily Pony: Touching Season 3 Letter

Make sure there’s a tissue box within arm’s reach. If not, go grab one right now, because this story about a cancer-stricken fan and her final days with her best friend enjoying their favorite show will cause you to well up. I couldn’t even make it halfway through reading this before having to dry my eyes, and I’m usually not the emotional type.

The following is a letter from a dying cancer patient to her best friend and fellow pony fan, e-mailed by her sister upon her death, and shared on r/mylittlepony. Again, a handy tissue box is advised before reading this:
Dear Adrian,

First off I want to say that spending time with you has been a blast. Ever since you introduced me to MLP:FiM I was able to endure the long and boring nights in the hospital. Thank you for that. Every week I would be so excited when a new episode comes out that I could hardly fall asleep. It was also partly because you would come and see me. The doctors said it was bad for me, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't tell you this because I knew you would stop coming, but I knew that being curled up next to you while we watch MLP was the best medicine that no doctor can give.

When you first told me about it I was skeptical. I mean, come on, it's ponies, but it seems like you really enjoyed it so I gave it a try. After the first few episodes I was hooked too. The smile you gave me when I admitted that I loved the show made me smile too. We both found solace from this show. Cancer for me and depression for you. I guess you could say we complete each other, like how two broken pieces can create a whole even if it is mismatched. I knew it wouldn't last long though. We were near the end of Season 2 and there were no more episodes left. I felt sad that it was over. Watching the show gave me an escape from reality and it was over. I wanted to tell you to come back the next day but I didn't, I didn't want to come off as someone selfish. But I didn't have to; you came back the next day too. You showed me Reddit's r/mylittlepony. I enjoyed their drawings and the community; you gave me back the magic. You even showed me FiMFiction for stories the fan wrote.

You kept coming back again and again, showing me new MLP stuff. Your drawings and even reading some of your own stories. You even offered to rewatch the series again, and I said yes. Truthfully though, the second time we watched it, I wasn't even watching. I just wanted to be near you, to see your face, to feel your warmth. Sometimes I would pretend to fall asleep so that you would put your arms around me. Or I would quietly sneak glances in the corner of my eye to memorize your face. And no matter what people say, you're beautiful. I never got the courage to tell you that, but you were braver than me. You would tell me things all the time. Things that made my day better.

You would tell me that I looked beautiful even though I had tubes coming out of me. You would tell me I'm going to be fine even though we both know I won't. You would tell me that you were always going to be here for me even though that's impossible. You would tell me that my drawings and stories were good even though it couldn't compare to yours. You would tell me that Rarity is the best pony, even though Applejack is the best.

You would tell me all of these things, but you never told me what I want to hear the most. You didn't love me, at least not the way I love you. I thought I was over you but you kept coming back. I never told you this in person so I'll write it.

I love you. I really, really love you. So, so much. I never stopped loving you. When you rejected me back in high school I was hurt and tried to get over it, but I guess I didn't. I knew you didn't see me like that, but I could. And it didn't stop me from loving you. It might sound creepy but I learned a lot about you. I knew you had a rough childhood. I knew why you didn't have any friends. I knew that you hide behind your smile. I knew why you have that scar on your face. I knew all these things but I still love you.

I'm going to miss our weekly discussion. I'm going to miss our small arguments on who's the best pony. I'm going to miss your drawings. I'm going to miss your stories. I'm going to miss you. I can't say it enough, but I'll miss you.

I wish that I wasn't sick. I wish that I could grow old. I wish that I could start a family. I wish that I could introduce my kids to the show. I wish that you could stay here by my side, watching our favourite show together, forever.

I know I promised to watch the Season 3 premier with you, but I honestly think I won't make it. So I want you to have something. My Applejack plushie. I want you to take it with you whenever you watch an episode, so I can be with you. Remember to make those comments that I love hearing on each episode. Pretend that whenever you talk to Applejack, you're talking to me.

There are a lot of things I want to tell you but I won't have enough time. There is one though that you should know. I hope you beat your depression. I won’t be able to beat my cancer, I know that and you do too. But maybe you can beat your illness. I know you can. Every time we watch an episode, I wouldn't focus on the show at all. I would just look at you, and I can see that you truly enjoyed it. Use it to find a new meaning in life. Be a new person, go out, and make new friends that will understand you. You can do it. You were able to help me through a rough time and I can't repay you but just give you my words and I hope it's enough.

Lastly I want to end this letter just like the letters the mane six write at the end of every episode. I guess you could say this is my last episode so it seems appropriate. So here's what I learned:

That friendship truly is magic.

Your best friend,


Sunday, November 11, 2012

"The Crystal Empire" (Part 1 and 2) Review

Yesterday I woke up early to watch the Season 3 premiere of My Little Pony. (This would be the first in a long time that I woke up early to watch Saturday morning cartoons!) And the first two episodes were…okay! They weren’t bad. Just not all that good. I was slightly disappointed. I was expecting it to be much better than this. But hey, it’s just the first two episodes. Hopefully, the other episodes in the season will be much better, right?

Anyhow, here are my two cents on these two episodes:

"The Crystal Empire" (Part 1)

• The secretary pony is kind of cute. I always did have a thing for girls with glasses.
• Do all the royal guards have blue hair? No wonder Shining Armor was chosen to be one.
• If you look closely, you’ll see that the quills pierce the bottom of the bag.
• How that book didn’t kill Spike is beyond me.
• As some who made it through college using flashcards, I agree: “That’s not going to be enough cards!”
• Does Twilight remind anyone else of Hermione? No wonder she’s my favorite character.
• And the library goes boom—all the way to the sky!
• Shining Armor and Princess Cadence get their own stained glass window!
• “She’s that much closer to being ready” for what? Something tells me this is buildup for a storyline later in the season—or series.
• “Few remember it ever existed at all.” Something tells me that the Crystal Empire is their version of Atlantis or Shangri-La.
• Anyone else get flashbacks to the Lord of the Rings with that flashback?
• I hope you enjoyed what little back story we were given for the Empire and King Sombra, because that’s all we get.
• Celestia really looks spooky using dark magic.
• “If fear and hatred take hold,” then creepy black crystals will appear!
• So why does Celestia need Twilight’s help exactly? The flashback showed that she and Luna defeated him the first time around. So what’s preventing them from defeating him this time?
• “It is a different type of test, but one I am certain you will pass.” So why are we using the fate of an entire empire as an academic test? Sounds like a bit too heavy a matter to use to determine something as trivial as grades. Then again, Celestia has never been wrong about Twilight succeeding at this point.
• “What if I fail?” “You won’t!” I know because the writers wrote it that way!
• Really love their cutie marks in the background.
• Only Twilight would be disappointed at an A+.
• Really love Twilight apparating and balancing on the lily pads.
• The party cannon returns! :D
• LOL! at how the confetti retreats back into the cannon!
• One has to wonder what a train station is doing in the vast icy wasteland of the north. It can’t be because of the Crystal Empire, because it hasn’t existed for a thousand years (and I’m pretty sure the train didn’t either).
• Really love Shining Armor’s arctic gear.
• Aw man! We’re totally cheated out of an epic battle between Shining Armor and King Sombra!
• In case you were wondering if they were going to do anything more with Shining Armor’s horn being infected with black crystal (mind control or anything), I hope you weren’t disappointed when they didn’t. (Also, why don’t they just remove the black crystal shards from his horn?)
• Does the Crystal Empire remind anyone else of the Emerald City of Oz? They are both cities made of crystal, so no duh there!
• Rarity almost hyperventilates over the Empire and Castle.
• And we get to see “Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake” again! Cute!
• Seems like Cadence’s protection spell is much different to Shining Armor’s in that she has to constantly cast it even to the point of not sleeping or eating, whereas Shining Armor was able to go about as he regularly does without the spell hindering him at all.
• Again, why don’t they remove the shards from his horn?
• Rarity is really losing herself over this. Seems like she would enjoy the Empire more than Canterlot.
• “Who doesn’t like research papers?” Well personally, I don’t mind research. It can be rather fun and enlightening. It’s the paper part that I loathe.
• LOL! at Pinkie Pie not grasping Rainbow Dash’s sarcasm.
• So crystal ponies have crystal eyes and coats. What else about them sets them apart from other ponies?
• Rainbow Dash should learn that you capture more flies with honey than vinegar.
• Did Fluttershy not remember how to be assertive from “Putting Your Hoof Down”?
• Love Pinkie Pie’s spy outfit. Too bad they didn’t make use of it other than comedic effect.
• Rarity does realize she needs to be gathering information, not daydreaming about being a Crystal pony.
• LOL! at Pinkie Pie’s Fluttershy suit (and Fluttershy’s startled reaction to it)!
• Love Twilight’s reaction to hearing about the library!
• I seriously want a girlfriend who is that excited about visiting the library.
• The librarian seems to be my favorite background character for this season.
• “I can’t seem to remember. I’m not sure if I actually work here.” I don’t know if that’s the amnesia talking or the Alzheimer’s.
• “I like her.” Me too, Pinkie!
• So why are the others wasting their time going through the bookshelves individually? Why not use the card catalog or check the history section. I know the library is over a millennia old, but I’m sure they have something similar to the Dewey Decimal System.
• Anyone else skeptical as to how only six ponies and one dragon were able to put on such a large fair? They surely needed more help than that.
• “Ballad of the Crystal Ponies” is the best song of the season thus far. (Then again, we’ve only had two, but at least we know we’re off to a good start.)
• “We can save the Crystal Ponies with their history.” Anyone else reminded of the protest song from the Pok√©mon Coliseum commercial?
• Dash looks 20 percent cooler in armor!
• Fluttershy + multicolored lambs = SUPER KAWAII!
• “I couldn’t have done this without you.” I’m skeptical that you were able to pull that off even with them.
• The noise the fugglehorn makes is actually “Fugglehorn”!
• The crystal ponies’ coats are affected by their mood.
• Did Rainbow Dash swap personalities with Pinkie Pie?
• Crystal berry pie? Crystal corn-on-the-cob? Sheesh! I know this is the crystal empire, but does everything need a crystal reference? Do they also use the crystal toilet and make crystal dookie?
• “I do work at the library!” Best. Line. Ever!
• Why would Sombra hide it away? It was pretty much set by Celestia before that the heart can be used for good or evil, so clearly Sombra had the power to use it for evil. So why hide it away and not use it?
• The page mentioning the Crystal Heart was torn out. Of Course!
• “How did I not notice?” Seriously, how did she not notice? Did she not read the entire book? Did she just skip the ending? Knowing how bookaphilic Twilight is, that’s highly doubtful.

"The Crystal Empire" (Part 2)

• I like how snakelike King Sombra is. Wait! King Sombra? King Kobra!
• The crystals in the Crystal Empire seem to operate the same way the crystals in Atlantis: The Lost Empire did.
• Seemed like that pony whom Apple Jack was trying to hide the Crystal Heart from already noticed it.
• Anyone else think the face-painting joke was weak?
• Does Pinkie Pie’s costume remind anyone else of Harley Quinn?
• “Who wants a flugglehorn?” “I want a flugglehorn!” “Who else wants a flugglehorn?” “I want a flugglehorn!”
• “The king would have been counting on the fact that no pony would dare go looking for it here.” Actually, I think most ponies would suspect that he would be hiding it there. It’s the most obvious place to hide it!
• Knight Fluttershy has a nice ring to it.
• Crystal nectar? Crystal fritters? Crystal recipe? Piccolo: “We get it! You’re all effing crystal!”
• Celestia’s Quarters? What is that supposed to be?
• Celestia did not teach her that spell. She showed it to her—once! Unless Twilight is a Blue Mage, that’s not how learning spells works.
• Twilight, it’s probably not wise to go down a dark, spooky staircase alone.
• “Yes, crystals.” That’s one line from King Sombra.
• Love Twilight levitating upside down like that.
• A magic door protecting a magic relic? Huh! Go figure!
• Obvious dark illusion is obvious.
• Really? An entire empire allegedly falls, and Twilight is more concerned about her studies? She really does remind me about Hermione sometimes!
• And this is why you never go down a dark staircase alone. It’s only fortunate that the trap was a dark illusion and not something more—deadly!
• “I’m not going to send you away.” Which is why you kindly told him that you didn’t want his help earlier.
• “Stairs. Lots and lots of stairs.”
• Again, I have to ask: why doesn’t Shining Armor remove the shards from his horn? Black magic?
• Fluttershy looks really cute in armor. Only a matter of time until they have a human version of that. (More specifically by Johnjoseco.)
• How do none of the crystal ponies realize what is going on? Do none of them look up at the sky?
• Fluttershy looks especially cute being launched away with her little cry.
• Fluttershy has a point: wouldn’t someone like Apple Jack be a better jousting partner for Rainbow Dash?
• Really love Twilight’s gravity spell and seeing her surf down—or rather, up—the staircase!
• Apparently, crystal ponies are easily distracted by basket-weaving.
• “I made a hat out of three pieces of hay and a drinking straw. I made it work.” LOL!
• Okay, now the crystal ponies notice the creepy flashes in the sky. Convenient!
• So you mean to tell me that the Crystal Heart isn’t going to be out in the open for anyone to take without protection? Huh. Go figure!
• “I don’t know if they believe you.” “I don’t know if I believe me.” LOL!
• “My crystal slaves.” That’s two lines from Sombra.
• Spike: “I’ve got a crystal heart!” Gohan: “I’ve got a dragonball!”
• Sombra licks his lips at the Crystal Heart. Uh, was he planning on eating it?
• Well it’s a good thing Shining Armor knew Princess Cadence would have enough strength in her to fly if she were suddenly launched into midair, even though she was extremely weak, having not eaten or slept for a long time. What could have possibly gone wrong?
• Again, in essence, the Crystal Heart is like the Heart of Atlantis.
• “What? No! Stop!” Line three from Sombra.
• So everyone becomes crystal, not just the crystal ponies? If that’s the case, what’s so special about the crystal ponies?!
• King Sombra shattered like a crystal. Does this make him the first MLP villain to be killed off?
• The Crystal Empire creates the Northern Lights.
• “Some things are only good when they’re a Rarity.” LOL!
• So Princess Cadence and Shining Armor are not the real rulers of the Crystal Empire. Then who is?
• Twilight is still obsessed with her “test”? Uh, an entire empire has been saved. I don’t think Celestia would have cared if you were the one to save it or not. I really don’t.
• I really REALLY love how it’s Spike who saves the day and gets his own window!
• Anyone else feel the moral was simply tacked on at the end?
• Pinkie on stilts! LOL!
• Loved the reprise!

Friday, November 9, 2012

Top 5 Best/Worst MLP:FiM Season 2 Episodes

In my last list, I listed my top five favorite and least favorite episodes in the first season. In this list, I will be listing the same thing for season two. As with the first list, I won’t be mentioning the two-part episodes because they tend to be del facto great. Also, as with last time, this is all my opinion, so feel free to disagree with me. And I would like to hear what your favorite/least favorite episodes are in the comments section below.

Top 5 Worst Episodes

MLP Wiki

#5: Heart And Hooves Day

Season Two brought holiday-themed episodes for Halloween (“Luna Night”), Christmas (“Hearth Warming Eve”), and Valentine’s Day (“Heart and Hooves Day”). Once the Halloween and Christmas episodes had aired, I knew the next holiday-themed episode was going to be Valentine’s Day, and that it would feature one of the ponies falling in love. Already my mind was racing with the endless possibilities of which pony was going to fall in love and with whom. I wanted to keep myself in suspense as to whom the lucky filly would be, and decided not to read the episode synopsis ahead of time as I normally do.

In a stroke of dumb luck, the episode was leaked to the internet the day before it aired. So obviously I was ecstatic about watching it early and learning how it was about—the Cutie Mark Crusaders—setting up their teacher—with Big Macintosh?!

Well considering that he’s one of the few male characters on the show, I guess it was an inevitable choice. But as most of you know, I’m a big FlutterMac fan. So you can only imagine how I felt watching this episode.

I know Macintosh only fell in love with Cheerilee because of the love poison, and in the end, they manage to just become friends, thus preserving the slim chance of him hooking up with Fluttershy, but having an entire episode that single-handedly crushes (or potentially crushes) a favorite fan shipping of mine made watching it all the more painful—that and having to listen to Big Mac speak baby talk. (I swear I puked more than once duing that episode.)

Other than that, it was a decent episode. It featured a catchy song (“The Perfect Stallion”), fleshed out Cheerilee’s character, and even had a good moral about not interfering with other people’s relationships. But I just didn’t enjoy watching it the first time around.

I know this episode is on the list for subjective reasons rather than objective ones, which is why I have it ranked rather low on this list. Rest assure, the other four episodes are treated much more objectively.

MLP Wiki

#4: The Last Roundup

Derpy Hooves talks. That’s the only good thing about this episode. (Well, it was the only good thing up until the folks at Hasbro became giant cowards and censored the scene. Seriously, WTF Hasbro?!) Other than that, it just wasn’t that great, or at least as great as many fans said it was. It wasn’t bad, just not great; overall, lackluster.

The main problem I have with this episode is that it’s trying so hard to build up to a big reveal at the end that really isn’t that big of a reveal—in fact, anyone can see it coming a mile away. To show you what I mean, allow me to explain the premise: the episode begins with Apple Jack showing off her rodeo skills and all the awards she won because of it. Later she brags before the entire town about how she’s going to win first place at the rodeo and use the prize money to repair city hall. But on the day she’s supposed to return, she sends a telegram explaining she isn’t coming back. Gee, I wonder why. Could it be because she didn’t win the rodeo and is embarrassed about it? Oh, what do you know: that’s exactly the reason why! What a twist!

Yeah, the mystery about Apple Jack not returning to Ponyville isn’t that big of a mystery. It’s rather obvious. We already know why Apple Jack didn’t return to Ponyville and why she’s avoiding the other ponies. We all know how it’s all going to end: Apple Jack is going to admit that she lost the rodeo and was embarrassed to come back, and her friends are going to assure her that losing the rodeo doesn’t matter to them and that they love her regardless of it. And knowing all of this ahead of time, it makes waiting until the end of the episode all the more tedious. Oh sure, there is plenty of good material to keep us entertained until then—the “I Love Lucy” reference, Pinkie Pie going insane, the epic chase scene—but it all comes across as nothing more than empty filler for an empty ending. Why bother trying to keep us in suspense when there is nothing to keep us in suspense about?

This is also the episode where Pinkie Pie is at her most annoying, particularly with “Cherry Chimichanga!” The fact the others use her to torture Apple Jack into fessing up proves just how annoying she can be. It comes across as more irritating than funny. Seriously, having to hear her act like this makes me want to punch through the screen and strangle her to death. She’s just that annoying! And I only feel sorry for Rarity for having to put up with her at the end. But to be fair, this is not Pinkie at her worst. There’s actually an episode later in the season where she’s worse—far worse! (But we’ll get to that later!)

MLP Wiki

#3: Read It And Weep

One of the things I enjoy about this show is how it manages to be subtle with its moral lessons rather than preachy. The show may be aimed at little children but it never treats them as such. It doesn’t talk down to them nor does it force feed them whatever lesson it’s trying to teach. Instead, it focuses on providing an entertaining story while subtlety weaving a moral throughout. Sometimes the moral is so subtle that you don’t even know what it is until Twilight Sparkle writes to Princess Celestia about it. You know a children’s show is good when it’s able to make you forget that it’s trying to educate you. This is why I love episodes like “Lesson Zero.” (More on that later!) It’s also why I hate this one.

In this episode, Rainbow Dash is sent to the hospital following an accident and is stuck there until her injuries heal. Twilight suggests that she read a book to pass the time, but Rainbow Dash refuses, claiming that reading is “uncool” and for “eggheads.”

And it’s right here that I lose interest. I would stop watching the episode at this point if not for the fact that I have to review it.

While the moral in other episodes tend to be subtle, the moral in this episode is as subtle as a cinderblock to the head, and it doesn’t help that the episode beats you with it constantly. It also doesn’t help that the character’s two-dimension delivery of it makes it all the more contrived. This is essentially how the episode  breaks down:
Twilight: You should read this book, Rainbow Dash.

Dash: No. I hate books. Reading is boring.

Everyone: No it’s not. Reading is super fun. You should try it.

Dash: Okay, I love reading now. It's super special awesome!
This episode is the exact opposite of what made the series great. It preaches the moral to us, presents it as weakly as possible, forces it down our throats, and all the while treats us like children. (Granted, this cartoon is meant for children, but at least it attempted to be somewhat intelligent.)

One thing that never made sense to me is why Rainbow Dash felt compelled to keep her new love of reading a secret. Her friends wanted her to read, so why would it embarrass her to let them know she was reading? And the lengths she goes just to keep it a secret is just ridiculous—funny, perhaps, but in context, ridiculous!

Some fans have interpreted this episode as a metaphor for being a Brony, how grown men have to keep their love of a little girls' cartoon secret from others. It’s an interesting interpretation, but quite frankly, I’m not buying it. This is an episode about the love of reading and nothing more. Any other interpretation is extemporaneous.

Other fans really enjoyed the Daring Doo segments, but for me, they were nothing more than your typical Indiana Jones parody. There was nothing special about them. I simply wasn’t impressed. (Okay, I was impressed by how the villain Ahuizotl was based on a real mythical Mayan creature, which shows that the show really delves in obscure references for their mythology, but other than that, the segments weren’t impressive enough to keep me invested in them or the episode.)

I admit there were some instances that I enjoyed, like the parallels between Rainbow Dash and Daring Doo, or the gags featuring the Chihuahua guard dog and the mental patient who thinks she’s a guard dog. And I sort of enjoyed the parallels between this episode and the Spongebob episode “Just One Bite,” but unlike other episodes with similarities to classic cartoons, this one does not make it any better.

In the end, this episode suffers from having its moral presented explicitly rather than subtlety. They might as well have a caption at the bottom of the screen telling us that “Reading Is Good.” The episode is just that preachy, and that’s something a children’s show should never be, especially one as good as My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

MLP Wiki

#2: A Friend In Deed

I don’t want to hate this episode. It contains the best song in the season, if not the entire series. I can’t express how much I love Pinkie Pie’s Smile song. It’s the only Pony song I have downloaded on my I-Phone and which I listen to on a regular basis, especially when I’m feeling depressed. The song just has that special way of lifting you up when you’re feeling down. But unfortunately it’s the only good thing about this episode (save for the cute felt animated sequence).

Pinkie Pie is my least favorite character and this episode illustrates why. I get she’s supposed to be a comedic character, what with her being the Element of Laughter, but more often than not, she comes across as obnoxious rather than comedic, and this is apparent within this episode.

When a donkey named Cranky moves to town, Pinkie does everything within her power to befriend him, even if it means bugging the living crap out of him and destroying his prized possessions. (I’m serious. Pinkie not only destroys his wig but also burns an album filled with photos of his most cherished memories. There’s being clumsy and then there’s being a vandal!)

And despite Cranky clearly telling her that he has no interest in being her friend, and despite Twilight Sparkle suggesting that she should probably leave him alone, Pinkie Pie insists on trying to get Cranky to like her, even going so far as to chase him halfway across Equestria. (Sweet Celestia, Pinkie, learn to take a hint!) I know this is supposed to come across as funny, but I can’t help but feel sorry for the poor guy. It was funny when she chased Rainbow Dash in “Griffon the Brush-Off,” but at least in that she was chasing a young athletic pegasus, not an ancient, decrepit donkey!

And the worst part is that Pinkie manages to get her way. Even after harassing him and destroying his property, she ends up getting Cranky to like her. That’s right kids: if someone doesn’t like you, just keep harassing them until they do. What a good moral lesson for children!

Actually the moral given in this episode is that some friends act differently than others and that we should learn how they want to be treated. But as with “Sweet And Elite,” the episode seems to be expressing something completely different, and as such, it feels forced and contrived.

Speaking of forced and contrived, that’s how I felt about the ending. Pinkie learns that Cranky was looking for another donkey named Matilda (who conveniently happens to live in town) and she manages to reunite the two. Nowhere in this episode do we get any indicator that Cranky was looking for someone (save for a few vague clues, which Pinkie manages to piece together for herself, yet we never see) and that someone only appears at the beginning of the episode for a measly five seconds. As such, this ending comes completely without warning, and if anything, feels like it was tacked on at the last minute. This isn’t creative, just lazy writing!

This episode would have been much better had Pinkie respected Cranky’s wishes and learned that she doesn’t have to please everyone. Sure, it’s a lesson that has been taught many times before, but it would have worked out much better than the one we're given, and it would have been a far better moral to teach children rather than to act like an annoying douche.

MLP Wiki

#1: Sweet and Elite

Whenever grown men like myself have to defend watching a little girl’s cartoon like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, one of the reasons we give for doing so is that the characters are well-written with depth and complexity, something that is lacking with the flatter-than-cardboard stereotypes all too prevalent in other little girl cartoons. This is a good argument, but the example they often give to support it is Rarity.

(Rarity? That’s your example of a well-written, complex character?)

They argue that, rather than being a shallow, self-absorbed fashonista, she’s really a selfless soul who places her friend’s best interests before her own.

(We’re talking about the same character, right?)

The episode they often cite to support this claim is this one: "Sweet And Elite."

(I honestly don’t see it!)

I know I’m going to receive a lot of flak for this. Many fans consider this episode to be one of the best in season two, if not one of the best Rarity episodes. They claim this is Rarity at her best while I honestly believe the exact opposite is true. I know people are going to hate me for saying that, but if you kindly set aside your torches and pitchforks and hear me out, I’ll explain why I think that way.

In this episode, Rarity goes to Canterlot to make a dress for Twilight Sparkle, but finds herself getting distracted with the social life there. She eventually faces the dilemma of having to decide between attending a garden party or Twilight’s birthday party.

Now this plot has been played out countless times in other media, but that’s not the problem I have with this episode. The problem I have is that Rarity’s behavior concerning this dilemma, if not her behavior throughout this episode, goes against everything that fans say about her. If this is her acting selflessly and placing her friends before herself, I fail to see it.

Throughout the episode, Rarity finds herself having to twist the truth in order to impress the Canterlot elite, which is understandable, but in many instances, there really is no reason for her to lie. For example, at the race track, why did she have to lie about Rainbow Dash being the Wonderbolts’ personal trainer? If anything, she could have easily impressed them with the truth: that Rainbow Dash is an aspiring Wonderbolt—and the only pegasus in Equestria to perform a Sonic Rainboomtwice! Somehow I find that to be far more impressive than simply being their personal trainer.

While we’re on the subject, why is it that none of the Canterlot elite know anything about the Mane Six? These are the same six ponies who saved Equestria—twice! And they were commemorated with stain glass windows in the royal palace—twice! For a group of people who spend most of their free time attending social events, you think they would have attended the royal ceremonies commemorating these six for their heroic deeds. So why the hell are they so oblivious about them?

And then we have Rarity’s “dilemma.” I know we’re supposed to sympathize with her struggling to choose between attending the two parties, but if you really consider the two, you find there really is no weight between them. On one hand, you have a party that doesn’t seem to be any different from the other social events Rarity attended. (In fact, if you think about it, the Canterlot elite seem to attend a lot of social events. It makes you wonder if they actually do anything other than socialize, let alone if they would really care if Rarity didn’t attend this party.)

On the other hand, you have the birthday party of her best friend—the same friend who was the sole reason why she went to Canterlot in the first place (you know, to make the dress she never finished)—the same best friend who was kind enough to set her up with royal accommodations!

The right choice seems obvious: attend the party of the friend who bent over backwards to give you a room at the royal freaking palace. The fact she blows off her best friend by lying to her in order to attend some hoity-toity garden party just further cements my opinion that she’s a selfish prick in this episode.

To further complicate matters, her friends decide to surprise her at the palace by throwing the birthday party there, forcing her to maintain her charade with falsehoods that even a broken lie detector can see through. I don’t know what’s worse: that Rarity is trying to deceive her friends with blatantly obvious bullcrap, or that her friends are oblivious enough to fall for it.

“Oh! We catch you sneaking out of your room in a sundress, even though you wrote about how you had to stay and take care of your cat? That’s okay! We totally buy your story that you were dressing up to make your cat feel better.”

“Oh, you totally half-ass your best friend’s birthday dress? That’s okay! She just so happens to love simple designs.”

“Oh, we catch you sneaking back and forth between this party and the one next door? That’s okay. We totally understand.”

Rarity ultimately has to choose between her friends and her new social standing, and to her credit, she manages to make the right decision—albeit without any real consequence. Throughout the episode, she lies and makes selfish decisions, but in the end, she ends up losing nothing because of that. On the contrary, she manages to get everything that she wants. She maintains the respect of her friends and her standing with the Canterlot elite. She not only has her cake but eats it too.

The moral they give for this episode is that you shouldn’t forget where you come from. Personally, I feel the real moral is that you can lie and deceive and you will always get your way with no negative consequences whatsoever. (You know, the same moral that politicians live by.)

I really don’t want to hate this episode. It contained one of the best musical numbers of the season up until Pinkie Pie’s Smile song and the songs in "A Canterlot Wedding." It also contained a cool side character (Mr. Fancy Pants), interesting visuals (Hipster Rarity), plenty of cameos (Prince Blueblood, Hoity Toity, Photo Finish, and Sapphire Shores), and hilarious gags (“What Croquet Mallet?”). But overall, Rarity’s attitude and behavior ruined it for me and actually made me lose respect for her as a character. I think a better example of character development is “Sisterhooves Social” (which I’ll cover later). This episode, on the other hand, is neither sweet nor elite.

Top 5 Best Episodes

MLP Wiki

#5: Hearth’s Warming Eve

Of all the holiday-themed episodes in this season, this one was by far my favorite. I know many fans prefer “Luna Night,” and while I did enjoy it, I felt it contained too many plotholes for me to consider my favorite. And you all already know how I feel about “Hearts and Hooves Day.”

As with many other holiday-themed episodes, this one changed one of our holidays into a pony version of it. At first, I was skeptical as to how they would change Christmas for a world where Santa and Christ don’t exist (which is sort of depressing if you think about it), but the episode still managed to convey the Christmas spirit without it being Christmas.

The episode features the Mane Six putting on a holiday pageant about the founding of Equestria. Before Equestia was founded, the three pony races—Earth, Pegasi, and Unicorn—existed as separate tribes that constantly feuded with one another. When a blizzard devastates the land, each of the pony tribes blames the others for it, and despite attempts at diplomacy, fail to concede on a solution. Each of the tribes’ leaders set out with their servants in search for another land. They end up discovering Equestria—humorously, all at the exact same time! But the blizzard soon encroaches on them, forcing them to take shelter in a cave where the leaders continue to bicker with one another. When the leaders succumb to the cold and freeze into blocks of ice, the servants deduce that the blizzard is being caused by Windigos, creatures that are attracted to coldness and bitterness. They decide to ward them off by befriending one another. This causes the leaders to melt from their icy prisons, and forces them to set aside their differences, thus warding off the Windigos and the blizzard. The three pony tribes then unite and form Equestria, an occasion that is celebrated with their holiday Hearth Warming Eve.

As I said before, this episode managed to convey the Christmas spirit without it being Christmas. The holiday may have changed, but the spirit behind it remains the same. Most of this is partly due to the holiday decorations and atmosphere throughout the episode, but personally, I feel it’s mostly due to the message. The lesson of the pageant and the episode is learning to getting along with one another by setting aside your differences, and in the end, that’s exactly what Christmas is all about. It’s not about Santa or Jesus or gifts or commercialism: it’s about peace on earth and good will towards men. And this episode did an excellent job of portraying that.

I also loved how this episode expanded more on the history of Equestria. Despite being for little girls, this series manages to take its own back story seriously, and goes out of its way to provide a coherent mythology and history. In a way, that sort of sets it on par with other fantasy series like the Lord of the Rings. In fact, if you think about it, the entire conflict with the three pony tribes is almost Tolkien-esque. I guess that’s why older men like me like it so much.

The artwork in this episode was magnificent and helped add to the overall holiday spirit, from the decorations in Canterlot to small things like Rarity’s hat. The episode also had plenty of small fun details like Scootaloo getting her tounge stuck on a pole (an obvious reference to A Christmas Story).

I was a bit skeptical about the pageant, as the leaders and servants acted exactly as the Mane Six portraying them, like how Chancellor Pudding acted exactly as eccentric as Pinkie Pie. But personally, I felt this was merely the Mane Six’s interpretation of the characters rather than the characters themselves. In a way, it’s almost like watching a Christmas pageant held by the kids at school or church. And it provided for plenty of excellent moments, mostly on the part of Pinkie (“I can think outside the box and inside the chimney. Can you think inside a chimney?”) I also loved Spike as the narrator, which I felt was a fitting role for him, even if he did tend to be long-winded. (“We get it. Move on.”)

In the end, while this episode isn’t going to be considered one of the best holiday specials of all time, it still manages to be a fitting holiday special for the series.

MLP Wiki

#4: Sisterhooves Social

Most fans have mixed feelings about the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Some like them. Others hate them. And others want to inflict pain and suffering upon them (as was apparent in the ultra-disturbing Sweet Apple Massacre)!

I for one really enjoy them. I think they add another dimension to the show, another focus aside from the main characters. Most episodes focus on the Mane Six while some focus on these three, which in a way, sort of makes the series two-in-one.

But one critique I do have is that, aside from their pursuit for their cutie marks, their characters, if not their relationships with their older siblings, tend to be underdeveloped. Apple Bloom is the younger sister of Apple Jack. Sweetie Belle is the younger sister of Rarity. And Scoot-a-loo has a hero fetish for Rainbow Dash. Other than that, we don’t really know that much about these three or their familiar relations.

That changed in season two as more episodes were dedicated to them, and for the most part, they did a good job of developing their characters, especially with episodes like “Family Appreciation Day” and “Cutie Mark Confidential.” But as you could suspect, the best episode by far was “Sisterhooves Social,” as it developed not only the characters of Sweetie Belle and her sister Rarity, but also their relationship.

It also introduced us to their parents. Yeah. Rarity and Sweetie Belle have parents. I honestly swear that I had to rewind the episode the first time around just to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me. But no, they were correct: Rarity has parents. I guess the only reason I’m surprised by this is that we don’t see their parents any other time in the series, other than through flashbacks, so we sort of assume that they don’t have any. Heck, the fact that we haven’t seen the parents for the Apple siblings is the subject of much speculation among the fan community. Are their parents dead? Were they abandoned by them? Do we simply not see them on-screen? Or…are Apple Jack and Big Macintosh really the parents of Apple Bloom? (I swear I’m not making that up. Fans have actually suggested that.) But little moments like this do assure that, yes, the Mane six do have parents.

But I digress…

The episode focuses on Rarity as she has to babysit Sweetie Belle while their parents are away on vacation. Sweetie Belle wants to spend time with her sister, but Rarity just wants her out of the way. Sweetie Belle tries to help her sister out but ends up messing up, causing massive friction between the two, even forcing them to wish that the other one didn’t exist.

Saddened, Sweetie Belle decides to hang out with Apple Bloom and Apple Jack, and sees a stark contrast between their relationship as sisters and that with her own sister. Rarity later drops by to apologize, but Sweetie Belle decides that she wants to be sisters with Apple Jack instead.

The entire episode is a buildup to an annual festival held by the Apple Family known as the Sisterhooves Social, where Sweetie Belle enters the completion with Apple Jack. I’m not going to spoil the ending for anyone who hasn’t seen the episode, but needless to say, it is quite unexpected. I was literally shocked by it and honestly didn’t see it coming. Rarely does a little kids show surprise me, which only proves how well the show manages to do with storytelling.

I really liked how in this episode Sweetie Belle was honestly trying to help her sister and not intentionally annoy her like most little siblings do. I also liked how her many mishaps actually helped Rarity, like how Sweetie Belle organized her room (yes, Rarity actually gets upset that Sweetie Belle “cleaned” her room—and of course I loved how Rarity described how it originally was “creative chaos”), which forces Rarity to reconsider her harsh attitude towards her little sister. And who didn’t have a lip quiver over seeing Sweetie Belle’s drawing?

I also loved many of the little gags and visuals within this episode, like Apple Jack explaining what uncouth is to Apple Bloom. (The definition of a redneck, after all, as defined by the great Jeff Foxworthy, is the glorious absence of sophistication.) and Rarity’s wet mane. (“I really like her mane!”) But the important part of this episode is how it’s the first to have a friendship report written by one of the other characters other than Twilight.

Overall this episode not only did an excellent job of developing Rarity’s character, but also her relationship with her sister Sweetie Belle. This is by far a better example of character development than “Sweet and Elite.”

MLP Wiki

#3: The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000

I love everything about this episode. The grandiose musical number. It’s obvious homage to The Music Man. The snake-oil salesmen villains. Their steampunk cider machine. The subplot of Rainbow Dash trying to get a pint of cider. Her failing to do so at every chance (“Oh for pete’s sake!”). Her drooling expression. Her eating dirt just to get a taste of cider (“Is this some kind of cruel joke?”). Her finally getting a pint at the end. The Mane Six teaming up with the Apple Family to compete against the Flim-Flam Brothers. Doctor Hooves being the one to tip the hourglass. Cheerilee’s cider face. Fluttershy shielding herself when Rainbow Dash rips away her covers. Applejack’s snarky letter to Princess Celestia (“I didn’t learn anything. I was right all along!”). Her prancing and balancing a pint of cider on her head. Her cute expression while doing so. Every. Little. Thing. There was not a single fault I found with this episode.

Well, I was slightly bothered by how the episode pitted the villain’s better technology against the main characters doing things “the old-fashioned way.” I don’t really care for these Paul Henry “man-versus-machine” stories as I feel they vilify technological progress. Mistrust of technology may have been understandable back in the 19th Century when new technology seemed intimidating, especially with the possibility of machines taking away jobs, but here in the 21st Century where technology has clearly made our lives better, it doesn’t seem like an appropriate message for children.

But compared to everything else in this episode, it’s a rather minor nitpick. Everything else is perfect, just like a pint of the Apple Family’s cider!

MLP Wiki

#2: Hurricane Fluttershy

This was a great season for Fluttershy, as she received, not one, but two episodes: “Putting Your Hoof Down” and “Hurricane Fluttershy.” Both are good in their own right, and both are highly-recommended watches. I was going to cheat and tie them both on this spot, but after thinking it through, I decided that the far superior episode was “Hurricane Fluttershy.”

The pegasi in Ponyville have been chosen to create a water devil to siphon water from their reservoir to Cloudsdale for Equestria's rainwater supply. All the pegasi are excited about this except Fluttershy. She doesn’t want to participate because the teasing she received as a child makes her nervous flying around others. Even when she reluctantly joins, the teasing she receives from her teammates forces her to quit. After being comforted by her friends, she is encouraged to train to improve her flying skills, and in the end, manages to help the other pegasi successfully complete their task.

While Fluttershy has had episodes before where she needed to overcome her fears, this one allowed us to better empathize with her, partly because it dealt with a subject most of us can relate with: teasing. Most of us have experienced teasing and bullying within our own life, and this episode perfectly illustrates the anxiety and insecurity one feels going through such an experience. This allows us to better emotionally-connect with Fluttershy and the struggles she faces in this episode. (Even if you don’t like Fluttershy as a character, you have to admit that you welled up seeing her cry. If you didn’t, then you have no heart!)

And while the ending is predictable enough, the build up to it was more realistic than in other media. Even after Fluttershy goes through an entire sports montage to improve herself, she only manages to improve by a small percent, but in the end, it’s this small percent that allows her and the other pegasi to succeed.

I also felt that this episode did a better job with Rainbow Dash’s character. In other episodes, she’s presented as cocky and pig-headed, but here, she acts more sympathetic. Even though she’s obsessed with breaking the record and impressing the Wonderbolts, she still manages to act supportive towards Fluttershy and her struggles.

There were many hilarious gags within this episode: the 1950s-style training film, the 1980s-style sports montage, Fluttershy disguising herself as a tree (“I always wanted to be a tree”), and of course, the overly-muscular pegasi screaming “Yeah!”

Overall, this was an excellent episode for Fluttershy, and one of her best in the season, if not the entire series.

MLP Wiki

#1: Lesson Zero

This season contained two hilarious episodes featuring my favorite character Twilight Sparkle: “It’s About Time” and “Lesson Zero.” Both of these episodes were laugh-out loud hilarious within they own right and I would highly recommend both as must watch episodes. I was going to cop-out here and set them both up as a tie for first place, but as with the Fluttershy episodes, I was forced to make a choice, and clearly the best episode hands down is “Lesson Zero.”

Twilight discovers that it’s been over a week since she sent a friendship report to Princess Celestia and worries that it could affect her grade for the worst—even sending her back to Magic Kindergarten! She searches for a friend she can help, but to her avail, none of them have any problems she can solve. With the day nearing the end and no problem to report on, Twilight resorts to creating conflict among the Cutie Mark Crusaders by giving them an enchanted doll to fight over—which they do, along with the rest of the town! Celestia arrives in the nick of time to restore everything back to normal and to assure Twilight that she doesn’t have to worry about the friendship report, ensuring her that she only has to send one when she actually manages to learn a lesson.

This episode was laugh-out loud hilarious from beginning to end. There wasn’t a moment where I didn’t find myself clenching my sides with gut-wrenching laughter or at least covering my mouth to muffle my chortles and giggles. And how could I not? Each of the gags in the episode were sheer comedy gold: The Magic Kindergarten nightmare, Rarity’s couch, the epic rainbow explosion, the whole town fighting over Smarty Pants, and of course, Fluttershy wrestling a bear? Fluttershy kicking the crap out of a bear! Do I even have to explain how epic that was?

But of course the funniest part of the episode was Twilight’s slow descent into madness. As the episode progresses and the deadline for the report draws ever nearer, we can see how Twilight’s anxiety over it is slowly chipping away at her sanity through her appearance and actions—perhaps the most telling being her Gollum-esque conversation with her own reflection. By the end of the episode, we see her as a disheveled mess, and we know she’s no longer all there. And seeing her pop out of the bushes? Yeah, screw Pinkamena Diane Pie! That is far creepier!

Perhaps what makes this episode all the more hilarious is just how relatable the situation is. Sure, we may laugh at how ridiculous it is for Twilight to go crazy over something as trivial as a late letter to the princess, but if we’re honest with ourselves, most of us would admit that there have been times when we became worked up over something that in hindsight was insignificant. There have been plenty of times during my college career when I became anxious over a project and assumed the worst over it, but in the end, everything managed to turn out for the best.

Many would argue that this episode, along with “It’s About Time,” portrays Twilight out-of-character, as allegedly someone as smart as her would not act this stupid. But I disagree. Just because someone is intelligent doesn’t mean they’re not susceptible to acting irrationally. Being intelligent is not the same as being rational, as even the most intelligent and well-read person can still experience lapses of judgment. This episode and others like it proves just that, and it shows that the creators are able to dynamically portray their characters.

Watching this episode the first time around, I assumed that it would similar to the Simpson’s episode where the moral of the story is sometimes there is no moral. But it actually managed to pull a moral out from the madness. The moral is that you should care about the concerns of your friends and not brush them off as not being a big deal. This is a decent moral, but I feel a better one would have been not to let the small things in life get to you. After all, most of the episode centers around Twilight fretting over her letter with only a little focusing on her friends not really caring.

Overall this was an excellent episode, and as I said before, it’s a must watch. What really pleases me about this episode is that it comes packaged in a few select toys. To me, this is a better choice to introduce people to the franchise than—bleh!—“The Ticket Master.”