It’s the beginning of a new year, and as is tradition, it’s a time to reflect upon the past year and consider the next one. Come this May, it will be four years since I graduated college, and come this fall, it will be four years since I started blogging. Now is a good time as any other for me to sit down, take a good hard look at my life, and ask myself what I have done with it.
I left college, like any other fresh graduate, full of potential, and ready to grasp the boundless opportunity that awaited me outside the university gates—that is, until I realized that I graduated during a recession, and thus the boundless opportunity was nonexistent. So whilst I searched for employment, I decided to bade my time by blogging.
When I started blogging, I honestly never had a solid goal. I hadn’t decided whether to use my blog as a venue for my writing career or to simply use it as a personal soapbox. (At this point, it’s more along the lines of the personal soapbox.) Either way, as with any other new blogger, I sought to voice my opinion, and in doing so, try to make the world a different place, perhaps even a better one.
Well, in those four years, the world has changed, but not in the way that I had expected, or even wanted. Like every other blogger wet behind the ears, I soon learned that my voice was no different than the millions of other voices within the ocean of the blogosphere, nor did it have any more power to turn the tides and waves within it. My voice was merely being drowned out with all the rest.
Faced with this harsh reality, during these four years, my love of blogging has slowly dwindled. Whereas I started out writing somewhat substantial content, right now, I’m stuck posting a few short blurbs now and then. Nothing extremely substantial. Nothing to show for. And the reason for my decline stems from three reasons:
1) Writing is time-consuming. Whether blogging or writing in general, I’m not the person to simply write down something spur of the moment. I need to take time thinking about what I’m going to write, then writing and rewriting it until it all sounds good. Even writing a short paragraph takes time and effort for me. Not to mention that I always try to back up what I say, which takes research. I never let anyone take my word for anything unless I can back it up, or unless it’s a matter of fact so self-evident that only an imbecile would not know it’s true. So yeah: I don’t know how bloggers like PZ Myers can churn out an umpteen amount of posts within a single day and still hold a day job. Which leads me to my next point…
2) I don’t get paid for this. That’s right guys: all the time and energy I put into this blog is at my own expense. I get paid jack and squat for it. It’s a hobby, not a job; which is why when I have a work assignment, I always place that before this, and thus why I sometimes have extended periods with little blog activity. When I’m not working, I’m blogging. Which means I’m putting all of my resources into this blog and getting nothing out of it. Not exactly the best motivation to continue.
3) It accomplishes nothing. Over these four years, I can’t really say I’ve accomplished much. Oh sure, I’ve garnered a small audience, mostly on deviantART, but otherwise, what has my writing achieved? It’s clearly not making an impact on the world, that’s for sure. And it’s not changing minds. Anyone who likes what I posts already agree with me to begin with, and those who hate what I have disagree with me to begin with. At this point, I’m simply preaching to the choir and stoking the base. And what’s the use in that?
So when I consider how time-consuming blogging is and how I’m not getting paid or rewarded for it, I seriously have to sit down and wonder if it’s really worth it and whether or not I should continue. As I mentioned before, I entered the blogosphere at least half-expecting to have some impact on it, but as I said, those who agree with me, agree with me; and those who don’t, don’t. No minds are changed. Nothing changes. Everything is as it is. Vanity is vanity, all is vanity.
So after this diatribe of mine, does this mean that this is the end?
In a word, no.
I’m going to continue blogging, but as of now, it won’t be top priority. There’s simply no need for it to be. I have other things in my life that I want to focus on, other goals I wish to pursue, and my blog simply cannot be one of them.
So what does this mean for you all?
Simply put, it means that my posts aren’t going to be as regular as they use to be—not that that they’re regular to begin with. I’m setting aside features such as “This Week in Review,” “WTF Friday,” and “Daily Pony.” From now on, if I post something, it’s going to be something substantial, something with substance, and nothing thrown together for the sake of creating a blog post. I’ll probably post something small now and then just to let you guys know I’m still alive. But other than that, this blog has officially become bottom priority in my life.
I want to thank my followers for lending me your support and showing interest in what I have to say. This is one of the main reasons I actually still want to stick with blogging, at least on deviantART. I like knowing that I’m not alone in what I believe and how I feel. I like knowing that other people agree with me, and I like the input they give. I know this probably relegates you all as an echo chamber, but then again, sometimes it’s comforting to hear your own voice.
Don’t think of this as goodbye. This isn’t the end. Not by a long shot. Think of this as an irregular hiatus. If I have anything of substance to share, I will. Otherwise, don’t expecting hearing much from me.
Again, thank you all for your support.