Nuggets of Wisdom

Monday, April 15, 2013

Happy Legalized Theft Day

It's April 15. Today is Tax Day. Have you been a good obedient citizen and paid your fair share? If not, you're a greedy, selfish sociopath who deserves to rot in jail for the rest of his days.

Everyone must pay their fair share in taxes. How else will the state fund the things we need like drone strikes, drug raids, and corporate boondoggles? We need the government to provide us with the services we need, because it's not like the private sector can do that more efficiently and cost-effectively, right?

Remember, comrades, the government is us. Think of the government like a private club and taxes as the fees you pay to be a part of it--even though you never had a choice to join, and you're only associated with it because you happened to be born in the geographic location that it owne and controled. That may sound more like serfdom than membership, but shut up!

If you don't like paying taxes, then you should get the freak out and move to a libertarian paradise like Somalia. Obviously Somalia is the best example of a country with low taxation, as opposed to countries like Switzerland and Hong Kong, both with freer economies than our own, though hardly third-world hellholes like Somalia.

So shut the freak up and pay your taxes. It's the patriotic thing to do. After all, patriotism entails silent obedience and compliance to the state. That makes asking questions and voicing criticism tantamount to treason. So shut up!

To celebrate this glorious day of jingoism and hyper-nationalism, here's Taxman by the Beatles. A song that dares criticize taxes? Clearly these musicians are teabagging rednecks! It's not like they're hippie stereotypes or anything.