Nuggets of Wisdom

Monday, October 27, 2014

Nightly Frights: Top 10 Inadvertent Nightmare Stuff


Let’s face it: everyone and their grandmothers have already made a top ten list of scariest childhood scares—even I made such a list—and when you have so many lists flooding the internet, chances are, the waters will stagnate, and everything will be diluted and homogenous.

Seriously, who hasn’t cited Fantasia’s "Night On Bald Mountain" as one of the movie moments that made them wet their pants? Or how about Willy Wonka’s Tunnel of Doom? Or Large Marge from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure?

Well, The Obscure ain’t got no time for that! He’s a real hipster who breaks from the crowd and strives to be anything but predictable—which is very clear from his list of "Top 10 Inadvertent Nightmare Stuff."

You won’t see any of the tired-old cliché selections that you see on other lists. Instead, The Obscure overlooks the intentionally scary stuff in favor of the more, well, obscure scares—the ones that most other nostalgiatards overlook.

Like how about the running out of air music from Sonic the Hedgehog? If you’re trying to beat the game, then there is no scarier music than that.

Or how about the E.T. ride at Universal Studios. Sure, E.T. would hardly scare any three-year-old, but the other abominations on his home planet are sure to plague any child’s nightmares.

Or how about Slim Goodbody? You know, Slim Goodbody? The educator who used to dress up in a flesh-tone bodysuit that displays all of his internal organs? You have to admit, that was rather gruesome.

But all of that pales in comparison to his #1 pick. What is it? Well, you’ll have to see for yourself. But let’s just say you’ll never consider evolution the same way again.