Nuggets of Wisdom

Saturday, November 15, 2014

I Wish I Was Born In A Sane Reality

With each and every passing day, I become more and more convinced that I was born in the wrong dimension—that, within our multiverse, there exists a much saner reality wherein I was supposed to be born, but was, instead, by cruel happenstance, born into this insane reality.

Within this saner reality, world hunger has long been eradicated because people do not irrationally fear genetically-modified foods. GMO crops grow and flourish in otherwise impoverished countries, ensuring that their citizens never have to experience either malnutrition or starvation.

In this saner reality, Dr. Andrew Wakefield would have had his medical license revoked upon having his pseudo-scientific study linking autism with vaccination rejected upon peer review. His study would never had been published, the anti-vaccination movement would have never taken off, and herd immunity would have remained unfazed, ensuring that people do not die from otherwise preventable diseases.

In this saner reality, glaucoma and other diseases would have gone the way of Polio, as medical marijuana would have never been criminalized.

In this saner reality, Mexico and other Central and South American countries would have flourishing economies with low crime rates and decent living standards, as these countries would never have been devastated by America’s War on Drugs. As such, America never had to deal with illegal immigration, as there would be no reason for illegal immigrants to flee their home countries.

In this saner reality, the Twin Towers would still remain standing because America would have never meddled within the Middle East, and thus would not have instigated nine radical Islamists to hijack two planes and fly them into the buildings in a desperate act of retaliation.

In this saner reality, police brutality is at an all-time low, as police officers who assault or kill unarmed civilians, either accidently or intentionally, rather than being placed on administrative leave, are tried as criminals. Those who accidentally kill civilians receive the same jail sentences as other criminals convicted of manslaughter. Those who intentionally kill civilians through malice receive the death penalty—which is only reserved for such authority figures who abuse their positions of power.

In this saner reality, the Federal Reserve would have never been instituted. As such, the dollar, along with prices and wages, would have remained stable since 1912, and the Great Depression, let alone the current recession, would have never occurred.

In this saner reality, paper money wouldn’t even exist. It would have long been replaced with competing crypto-currencies such as Bitcoin. No longer would people carry around wallets with dollar bills or credit cards. They would only require their cellular mobile devices for financial transactions.

In this saner reality, our government would not be worrying about raising taxes or cutting spending, as it would not be spending more money on its military than the rest of the world combined. As such, its funding would be evenly-distributed, its budget balanced, and its national debt and deficit experiencing all-time record lows.

In this saner reality, corporations would remain on American soil, along with their jobs and taxes, as we would not have the highest corporate tax rate in the world scaring them off and forcing them to evade taxation or to outsource jobs.

In this saner reality, all people, regardless of their income, would have affordable access to healthcare—not because of government-controlled healthcare systems, but because consumers actually have real healthcare options other than government monopolies or insurance company corporatism. Government would not prevent mutual aid societies from being formed, nor prevent consumers from obtaining healthcare out-of-state, nor prevent doctors from entering the market through the medical licensing cartel of the American Medical Association, nor prevent life-saving medicine from entering the market at the hands of the FDA.

In this saner reality, the internet would be completely unregulated with no attempts by either governments or corporations to regulate or censor it—no net neutrality, no SOPA or PIPA, no CISPA or ACTA, and most importantly, no NSA! Every single human being would have easy, speedy access to the internet, as the government would no longer be protecting and upholding telecom monopolies.

In this saner reality, Obama would have never been elected president, and neither would have George W. Bush. Instead, Ron Paul would currently be enjoying his fourth presidential term, as his first two terms would have been successful enough to inspire Americans to rescind presidential term limits, allowing him to continue his reign of peace and prosperity for as long as Americans remain satisfied with his job as their president, even until his dying breath.

In this saner reality, Michael Bay would not be making millions off of his schlockbuster films, Twilight would have never been a best-selling novel series, and Honey Boo Boo would have never seen the light of television—let alone be aired on the Learning Channel!

In this saner reality, not only would mankind have set foot on the moon, but by now, would have set up several space colonies within Earth’s atmosphere, set up mining facilities within the Asteroid Belt, would have started colonizing the moon, and would be embarking on its first manned mission to Mars. None of this would be due to increased funding to NASA, but due to the government no longer holding a monopoly over space exploration. Instead, private companies, seeing dollar signs within the stars, would be competing in space races with one another to see who would be the first to develop commercial space flight, to pioneer space tourism, and to mine for resources from asteroids and other planets.

And finally, in this saner reality, nobody would give a damn that the scientist responsible for landing the first space probe on a comet appeared in an interview wearing a shirt covered with scantily-clad women—and most certainly that scientist would see no reason to apologize for doing so!

But sadly, we don’t live in that sane reality. We live in the insane reality where militant feminists can write screeds titled “I don't care if you landed a spacecraft on a comet, your shirt is sexist and ostracizing”, and where the spineless scientist being targeted is browbeaten into apologizing for his personal wardrobe.

Can someone please invent a multi-dimensional transporter so I can escape to that saner reality? Please?!