Nuggets of Wisdom

Monday, November 24, 2014

PETA Is Too Ridonkulous For Satire

Originally, I was going to write a satirical holiday article about how PETA wanted to ban Thanksgiving, and how their anti-Thanksgiving campaign involved petitioning to have Macy’s Tom Turkey float replaced with an inflatable soy tofu cube, but I decided not to write that article for two reasons.

One, PETA (People for the “Ethical” Treatment of Animals) is low-hanging fruit. Organizations like it and Westboro Baptist Church are too easy of a target. The question is not how do you make fun of it, the real question is how does any rationally-thinking human being take seriously such an organization that flippantly compares chickens to Holocaust victims, or protests Nintendo over Mario's Tanooki Suit? The answer is that you can’t. I don’t even think self-respecting vegetarians and animal rights activists take it seriously. You simply cannot ridicule something that is already ridiculous.

And two, as with many of my other satirical article ideas, mine was plagarized by reality. No, PETA is not petitioning to ban Thanksgiving, but they are planning to host a protest at the Macy’s parade over the inclusion of a SeaWorld float—and of course, their protest involves copious amounts of nudity. Because
PETA! (Again, you can’t ridicule what is already ridiculous!)

So from all of us here at the Daily Bungle, here’s wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving, and be sure to have an extra hearty helping of turkey to piss off PETA.