Nuggets of Wisdom

Monday, November 24, 2014

This Week In Review #04

We here at the Daily Bungle wish to provide a public service by administering a weekly test for our readers to see how well they can differentiate real news from fake news. Two of the following news stories are real. The rest of them are fake. Can you tell the satire from the real deal? (Without clicking on the links or hovering over them, of course!)

Scientists Receive $10 Million Grant To Melt Stuff
Saying the money would help further researchers’ understanding of the awesome scientific phenomenon, representatives for the American Institute of Physics announced Tuesday that they had received a $10 million grant to melt stuff.

Science Teacher Snaps Rabbit's Neck in Front of Tenth Grade Class
An Idaho biology teacher is facing disciplinary action after Steven Seagal-ing a live rabbit during a lesson for his 10th grade class. According to school district spokesperson Allison Westfall, the rabbit was placed in a restraining device before the teacher snapped its neck, after which it was skinned and "cut up."

Missing Littleton Boy Found in Midst of Netflix Binge
The search for missing Littleton resident Michael Harris ended abruptly this evening when his parents found him curled in a basement cupboard, where the 9-year-old had been watching episodes of How I Met Your Mother for almost 30 hours straight.

Fresno State Student Arrested For Having Sex With Sheep
A student at Fresno State University who was reportedly stressed out (and also drunk) was discovered by police with his pants down fucking a sheep on Tuesday. He had been ratted out by a fellow student when she heard "strange noises" coming from the Fresno Sheep Unit.

After Election Most Americans Still Unclear Where Benghazi Is
Despite recent Republican successes in national and local elections, and a persistent campaign in largely Right Wing media outlets and the blogosphere,  most Americans are still unclear where the hell this place called Benghazi is.