Nuggets of Wisdom

Thursday, February 12, 2015

B-But #NotAllAtheists!

The revelation that the Chapel Hill shooter was a progressive atheist—rather than yet another “angry right-wing Christian extremist” scapegoat—has left many a neck-bearded atheist in shock, unable to comprehend it with their tiny fedora-wearing pea brains, and leaving them to madly splutter through Cheeto and Mountain Dew-laced breath “not all atheists!” in a scream that echoes within the lonely confines of their mother’s basement.

While these atheist alpha males would have no issue blaming such an incident on the religion of a Christian or a Muslim if they committed a similar atrocity, their puny prepubescent minds—which they reserve to simple motor functions such as jerking off to Neil DeGrasse Tyson tweets and into torn out pages of Dawkin’s God Delusion—cannot conceive that one of their own would commit such an act in the name of atheism, which they consider as much a religion as others would consider not collecting stamps as a hobby.

The impotent rage of these Reddit-dwelling pseudo-intellectuals has lead them to create such cringeworthy memes as this:

New Rule: if you Dunning-Kruger effect-suffering neckbeards are willing to use this non-logic to claim that the shooter’s atheism had nothing to do with the shooting, then you should use that same logic to conclude that any other religious person who commits a similar atrocity was not inspired by their religion. The logic that is good for the goose is also good for the fedora-wearing gander.