Nuggets of Wisdom

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

SATIRE: Male-Only Safe Spaces Provided At Feminist Speech

Safe Spaces Provided For Male Students At Feminist College Speech

Male college students feel “triggered” by feminist speaker, retreat to “safe spaces” with free beer and pornography.

Katie Incorrect
Daily Bungle

A recent speech by a controversial feminist professor caused male college students to retreat by the droves into male-only “safe spaces” created to safeguard them against any “triggering” and “problematic” comments.

Lodi Breequoes, dean emeritus of gender studies at Farnsworth University (FU), recently gave a speech entitled “Men: What Are They Good For? Absolutely Nothing!” in which she claimed that all men were “potential rapists” indoctrinated by their “patriarchal society” to “hate” and “oppress” women.

While her audience that evening started with a healthy balance of students from both genders, nearly halfway through her speech, most male, and a few female, students had left.

Male “men’s rights” student activists, prior to the event, has set up male-only “safe spaces” outside the auditorium where the speech was held, offering male students somewhere to retreat to if they felt “triggered” or “threatened” by the female professor’s opposing views.

These safe spaces were furnished with free beer, pizza, chicken wings, Playboy magazines, video games, and a large flatscreen television broadcasting the most recent sports game. At least two dozen male students congregated within these safe spaces during and after the speech.

Prior to the speech, male students had also placed “trigger warning” signs outside of the auditorium, warning students that the speech would contain “misandrist” language.

One photo posted on Twitter showed a male student holding up a sign reading “TRIGGER WARNING: anti-male bashing ahead” and advertising the location of the safe space.

As for the feminist speaker herself, Breequoes merely brushed of the backlash against her speech as a symptom of “male entitlement”, calling the male students “neo-reactionary chauvinists” who were shedding “male tears” over the loss of “white male privilege.”

“Everything that I said during my speech were merely the mainstream views held by modern feminists, and if a few immature boys get upset over it, then it’s only because of their unearned white straight cis-gendered male privilege,” Breequoes said.

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