Nuggets of Wisdom

Monday, December 14, 2015

Pony Recap: The Cutie Re-Mark (Part 1)


By now, I'm sure you've read my reaction to this two-part episode. I've said all I had to say with that. So without further ado, here's my breakdown of the first part (with the second part coming soon):


Twilight has learned by now to rehearse her speech rather than rely on note cards. Hopefully, she won't have a repeat of her failed speech in "Applebuck Season."


Little shout outs to continuity like this make me curious as to what the show has planned for the CMC in future seasons. I'd like to see how they manage to help others discover the secrets of their cutie marks.


Ah, yes, Moon Dancer. I know I haven't talked about "Amending Fences" yet, but rest assured, I will, and when I do, I'll have much to say about it. Sufficed to say, I don't share everyone's opinion that it was the "greatest episode evar!" In fact, I'm probably in the minority by not liking it. Why? Well, that's a discussion for another time.


Obligatory embarrassing slide here. Well, at least this picture is less embarrassing than the one with Milo Thatch's one piece swimsuit.


I hate to go against the grain here, but I never really cared for the "Call of the Cutie." It was a cool origin story, to be sure, but I felt that the entire setup was rather contrived. Yes, you can say it was all a matter of "destiny", as the Mane Six were destined to be together as the Elements of Harmony, but, in the end, it still felt like the whole setup was contrived. Creative, but contrived. (Not to mention that this brings up another gripe with "Amending Fences." But we'll get to that dock when we get there.)


Too many cameos to point out here. Besides, there's only one cameo that matters here. Hint: She glimmers like starlight!


Twilight has faced off against shape-shifters, dark kings, and power-sucking titans, but apparently, it's a failed cult leader who frightens her.


Like a boss!


Okay. Now is the plot hole that every pony and their Granny Smith has pointed out: why did Starlight Glimmer wait for Twilight to return to the castle to move forward with her time travel scheme, and why did she leave the time traveling spell behind for Twilight? Had she simply went ahead with her own plan before Twilight arrived AND taken the spell with her, she would have succeeded. Then again, we probably would have not had an episode. So there's the simple answer.


And from the time portal, Starlight Glimmer summons Dialga, the Pokemon titan of time, to reduce Twilight's palace to dust, and destroy her along with it. Oops, sorry, wrong franchise!


Again, had Starlight Glimmer not been a litterbug, she would have stood a chance of succeeding.


Random Pinkie Pie scene. Because Pinkie.


*insert Doctor Who theme here*


Seriously, Twi, you've had those wings for two seasons know. You should know when to use them by now!


Twilight didn't see a cutie mark? No squee! She was traveling too fast for her to see.


So how did Starlight Glimmer know the exact date and time the Mane Six received their cutie marks? Simplest explanation: newspaper archives. All she really needed to learn was the date of Rainbow Dash's sonic rainboom. If it was the first in Equestria, it was certainly covered in the news.


So not only is Starlight Glimmer able to remove cutie marks (which Twilight was unable to replicate), she's also able to travel further and longer in time (which Twilight was unable to do). Seems like Starlight may have more powerful magic than the newest alicorn princess. She truly is a frightening villain.


This is Spike's first time in Cloudsdale, so I'll forgive the fact that he doesn't know that only pegasi can walk on clouds.


And she can levitate? Twilight hasn't just met her equal. She may have met her better.


And with one monkey wrench thrown into the works...


The entire chain reaction shuts down.


No Sonic Rainboom.


No cutie marks.


No Mane Six.


No Elements of Harmony.


So if the Mane Six never receive their cutie marks and became the Elements of Harmony, how is the Cutie Map still a thing? It only came into existence because the Elements of Harmony had created Twilight's Crystal Palace. No Mane Six. No crystal palace. No Cutie Map. Of course, this is one plot convenience I can excuse.


The Crystal Empire takes up half of Equestria. Gee, it's almost like King Sombra was able to take over because a certain six ponies were unable to stop him.


Gee, Ponyville hasn't been this messed up since Twilight screwed up her friends cutie marks in "Magical Mystery Cure"!


Oh no! Without Pinkie Pie, Sugarcube Corner only sells bread! Pinkie was the sugar and spice that made everything nice.


So this is what would happen if Flim and Flam took over the Apple Family farm!


Pollution aside, Sweet Apple Acres seems to be more efficient as a factory setting. They seem to be mass producing more products that they can more easily and readily sell.


Pinkiebow and Flutterdash? Oh boy. The shippers are having a hay day over that reference.


A war against King Sombra and the Crystal Empire? What a shock. It's not like there's a magical map that could have reveled this development...oh wait!


"Ah, after one thousand years, I am free! It's time to conquer Equestria!"


With Princess Cadence failing to stop Sombra, she was defeated, and poor Shining armor became Sombra's personal gimp.


After more than 100 episodes, Princess Celestia finally gets off her sun butt and takes action.


I hope these ponies have readied their breakfasts and ate hearty, for tonight, they dine in Tartarus.


Military note: if you are a lowly earth pony, you should no go up against a powerful unicorn who is able to move the earth beneath his feet.


Whoa! Tattered hairstyle. Torn ear. Full metal wing. Scar under her eye? What war stories does AU Dash have?


Pinkie AND Maud Pie fighting in the same battle? This scene has become 20 percent cooler. Also, when did Pinkie have such strength? Are all the Pies that strong? If so, Pinkie has been holding out.


Oh, if we only saw more episodes of this awesome alternate timeline. Ah well! There's always the inevitable fanfics! :D


So much for Celestia simply banishing every pony to the moon.


Despite their situation, the mane six still manage to put their talents to good use, even if it's not what they wanted out of their lives.


Fallout: Equestria is canon.


Now these two know how Donald Duck felt like in the KH2 trailer.


Looks like Starlight Glimmer took monologing lessons from Syndrome.


Give him a few more seconds, and Spike would have received a spare from Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse.


Aaa-oooo-gah!


I just realized here that Fluttershy is much taller than the other foals. I guess girls grow taller than boys even as horses.


If I had to guess Starlight's special talent, it would be the power of persuasion. Obviously, she was able to convince ponies to join her cult and give up their cutie marks. Here, she simply acts like a responsible adult and convince the bullies to stop picking on poor Fluttershy. Makes me wonder what she would have done had she not become a crazy cult leader.


Rainbow Dash: I need an adult?
Twilight Sparkle: I am an adult.

Seriously, how are there no other grown-up ponies at this camp? We have two strange mares lurking about talking freely with the kids. Where are the camp counsellors?


Seriously, Twi, you're not helping with those bedroom eyes!


Am I the only one here who wants to see fan art of human Fluttershy dressed in her tribal paint...and only her tribal paint? I know Sinaherib would do a good job of that! :D


Changelings? Queen Chrysalis? Looks like in this timeline...Discord takes over Equetsria! (We'll have to wait for part two to find out!)