Nuggets of Wisdom

Monday, August 31, 2015

State Of The Blog (08/31/2015)


The sun is about to set on August, and September is right on the horizon. As September is right around the corner, so are big plans for this blog. Here is what to expect next month:

Pony Recaps

The newest MLP episode will premiere on Sep. 12. Until then, I will publish the remaining two Pony Recaps for "Amending Fences" and "Do Princesses Dream Of Electric Sheep?"

SU Recaps

Likewise, the newest episode for Steven Universe is set to premiere on Sep. 17. Rather that write separate recaps for the remaining five episodes, I’m instead going to write one single post with brief recaps on the episodes for the Steven Bomb.

The Dark Stallion

Yes, yes, I know I still haven’t published the next chapter. I’m still working on that, and I’m hoping to release it earlier this month at best. Writing fiction is much harder than writing anything else for this blog, and the fact that I’m suffering from writer’s block with this particular chapter isn’t helping. Rest assured, this fanfiction will inevitably be finished.

Statist and Anarchist

If you’ve been keeping up with my comics lately, you’d notice that my most recent additions were rather, um, dark. I’ve decided to become a bit more creative by integrating somewhat of a storyline to it, something that should cover the next month or so. What plans do I have in store? You’ll have to wait and see.

Regular Features

I’ve placed all my other regular features on hiatus for the summer, and now that summer is drawing to a close, they should be restarting again. I plan on being more regular with my Daily Pony and Stevie posts, with some irregular posts for everything else. As much as I would like to incorporate a more consistent schedule, the fact remains that this blog is a hobby, not a job, and I have a life. As such, I can’t be as consistent as I would like to be.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

SU Recap: Chille Tid


If there was one episode that best reflected the overall atmosphere of Steven Universe, it would be this one. One moment, we’re taking a light-hearted romp through Steven’s subconscious; the next, NIGHTMARE FUEL! We have Steven starring in his own black-and-white sitcom. LAPIS LAZULI WEEPS FOR YOUR SOUL. Pearl is watching Greg cross dress as Rose riding a pizza. JASPER IS ABOUT TO STANGLE STEVEN WITH HER BONDS. It’s light. It’s dark. It’s light again. It’s complex. It’s everything we love about this series.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Are Police Officers Psychopaths?



After Georgia police tossed a flash grenade into a crib of a toddler during a botched raid, the sheriff's department claimed that the child was at fault for being injured by the attack. Do incidents like this prove that cops are psychopaths? If so, they certainly aren't keeping it a secret. The folks at the Bogosity Podcast expose these bad cops in all of their psychopathy.

Links
Media

Thursday, August 27, 2015

SU Recap: We Need to Talk


Since “Story For Steven”, most of us fans have been quite curious to learn more about Greg’s early relationship with Rose and the Crystal Gems. This episode managed to help sate a little bit of that curiosity.

Through this episode, we gain a deeper perspective into Rose’s early feelings towards, which turned out to have been equally as platonic and unrequited as her feelings towards Pearl.

Speaking of which, in case anyone still had doubts about the relationship between Pearl and Rose, hopefully, this episode helped to shed some extra light on it for you.

And in case you were wondering why Steven and Connie can fuse but Greg and Rose couldn’t, this episode also helped shed light on this.

Overall, this was an excellent blast into the past (and perhaps the best episode of the second Steven Bomb), and here’s hoping for some more in the future.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Worst MLP:FIM S5 Eps (Thus Far!)


Some episodes are so lackluster that it's not really worth writing entire recaps for them. So here, I'm just going to give you all a quick recap of the worst episodes of MLP:FIM Season Five (thus far!) Don't worry! I will get to writing full recaps of the remaining episodes--EVENTUALLY!

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Were The Ashley Madison Hacks Justified?



In light of the recent hacking and release of person information from infidelity dating site Ashley Madison, can the hackers be considered brave “hacktivists” like Edward Snowden, or are they criminal thugs who put innocent lives at risk? Shane Killian and Charles Thomas of the Bogosity Podcast shed light on the shady activity and overall impact of these hackers.

Links

SU Recap: Rising Tides, Crashing Skies


In most other action shows, city and town settings merely serve as backdrops for the action. In Power Rangers, after the monster of the day finishes wrecking the city and getting destroyed by the good guys, the episode ends only for the very next episode to show the city good as new—as if a giant monster hadn’t been rampaging through it in the previous episode! The same thing can be seen in other shows such as Powerpuff Girls or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: the city gets destroyed one episode, only to appear undamaged the very next.

For this reason, it’s a breath of fresh air when, following the events of the Steven Universe season one finale, it takes several episodes for Beach City to return to normal as everyone else is cleaning up and recovering from the aftermath. We see the wreckage of the Gemworld ship remain scattered along the beach for several episodes until the Crystal Gems get around to cleaning it up. This commitment to realism is one of the many small details that make the show feel real for us.

With all the crazy stuff that goes on in Beach City, you has to wonder what the other denizens of the town think about it. How do they really feel about their town getting attacked by monsters, and how do they feel about the Gems? Do they appreciate the work that they do to keep evil away, or do they consider them a nuisance that the town would be better without.

In the guise of an amateur online documentary, “Rising Tides, Crashing Skies”, reveals these answers and allows us a glimpse into the perspective of the townspeople and the previous events surrounding the season finale. This type of perspective is something that is often lost with other action shows. We see the heroes fight off the villains, but we rarely see how the townspeople have to cope with it. For this reason, Steven Universe helps bring the show down to earth, humanizing the characters and helping us to identify with them.

That and it’s funny to see Ronaldo act like the lovable conspiracy nut that he is!

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Are Video On-Demand Services Intentionally Bad?



Ever wondered why there isn’t anything good to watch on video on-demand services such as Netflix? You can blame the big movie studios for that. Shane Killian and Jim Goebel from the Bogosity Podcast discuss how the movie industry and its archaic business model for copyright and licensing stifle the content of video on-demand services.

Links

Saturday, August 15, 2015

TTN2GTFO #0896: Left-Wing Websites That Won’t Allow Their Employees To Unionize


(This is a cross-post from my Tumblr blog "Things In America That Need To GTFO!" For more posts like this, please visit and follow my blog on Tumblr.)

If you’re a left-wing news/blog site such as Salon, Buzzfeed, or Upworthy that regularly shills itself as a propaganda mill for labor unions, then you are obliged to allow your own employees to unionize. Either put your money where your mouth is and practice what you preach, or shut the fuck up forever about how you believe unions are the “backbone of the middle class”, because you clearly don’t believe that yourselves!

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Teen Titans Go! F*** Yourselves!


If cartoons were food, then the original Teen Titans would be filet minion, and Teen Titans Go! would be the end result of that otherwise gourmet meal if it were devoured by a college dropout stoner and painfully excreted through diarrhea and rectal bleeding following a binge on beer and pot.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

New Dark Stallion Chapter Preview

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic presents

The Dark Stallion

Episode 11: The Black Stallion Returns. Elements Of Harmony Unite

---

Thousands of Years in the Past

“My queen, my liege, what is the meaning of this?”

An armor-clad stallion stood concealed within the shadows of a throne room as he knelt before the royal dais. Upon that dais, sitting upon her throne, was Princess Platinum, dressed in her royal regalia. Next to her stood Clover the Clever; next to her, Starswirl the Bearded. Two royal sentries guarded either side of the dais.

Princess Platinum, from atop her throne, gazed upon the stallion kneeling before her. “I regret to inform you, my dear, that this is indeed true. Though I had originally considered you as a potential candidate for the sovereign of Equestria, it seems that Starswirl here, in his wisdom and discretion, has found two more suitable candidates for that position.”

The stallion rose from upon his knees and took a defiant stance from where he stood within the shadows. “But that honor had been promised to me. How could you so easily revoke it? Does your royal word mean nothing? Have I not honorably served you? Have I not fought in your honor? Have I not won you countless wars and battles?”

The unicorn princess could only tilt her head and close her eyes. “You have indeed proven to be a noble warrior, but this new land will need more than mere brawn to lead it. It will require a leader who is as strong in heart as he is in will—a loving heart guided by only the highest of virtues: honesty, loyalty, kindness, generosity, and kindness, one that will unite this new kingdom with friendship.”

She turned to Starswirl as he remained standing neaerby with his assistant, Clover. “And Starswirl here has found such a heart in the two alicorn sisters, Celestia and Luna. He and the 12 pony tribe elders have seen fit to prep them for their new role as Equestria’s royal sovereigns.”

The stallion, less than pleased by this news, drew a sword from his side. “That throne belongs to me, and I will take it, whether you offer it willingly or not.”

He dashed forward and leapt toward the princess, his sword drawn high above him. Before he could strike down upon her, his sword was stopped by two spears, each belonging to the royal guards.

The princess merely winced within her throne, as her two guards were the only ones keeping the sword from coming down upon her head and slicing her into two.

Starswirl took one step forward and struck his staff upon the ground. “You would dare defy your liege? Betray your kingdom?”

The stallion took one leap back and swung his sword at the others, pointing at them with its tip. “The only traitors here are you and the others who conspired to take from me what is rightfully mine, and I swear to the heavens above that I will take back what is rightfully mine!”

TTN2GTFO #3647: The Absence Of Female Comic Book Character Movies


The following is a cross-post from my new Tumblr blog, "Things In America That Need To GTFO!" For more posts such as this, please visit and follow my blog on Tumblr.

Hey, did you see Ant Man? Wasn’t that movie so cheesy yet so good? Yet isn’t it odd that Marvel produced a movie about a man who shrinks down to microscopic levels and controls ants, yet they still haven’t made a movie about the female Avenger, Black Widow?

Also, have you heard that they’re remaking the Spiderman movies? Yes, they’re remaking them, again, after having already remade the movies only a few years ago. Isn’t it also odd that we’re going to have three theatrical adaptations of Spiderman, yet we still don’t have one adaptation of a Marvel superheroine like Ms. Marvel?

Yes, this is a question that everyone has asked, but it still bears asking again: where are all the female superhero movies? In no other time have comic book movies proven hugely successful, yet all of them to this point have been major sausage fests. So when are we going to see some hotdog rolls?

It’s not like there’s a shortage of female comic book characters for either Marvel or DC, so what’s the excuse for not having them take center stage on the big screen? Does Hollywood seriously believe that comic book fans won’t bother watching a movie without a male lead? Yes, why would any lonely pre-pubescent (or pre-pibescent-minded) young man want to watch a movie starring a strong yet voluptuous woman wearing skin-tight clothing and armor that reveals her curves—HELLO!

And don’t even bother telling me that movies with female leads aren’t profitable. Both Frozen and Hunger Games prove your argument flawed. If moviegoers are willing to pay money to watch a strong yet attractive young woman wielding her bow and arrow against a tyrannical government like the badass that she is, they’re more than willing to watch a female superhero.

Yes, previous superheroine movies like Supergirl and Electra were major box office flops. So was Daredevil. That didn’t stop Marvel from remaking that comic book franchise into a Netflix series. If Marvel can try again with Daredevil, why can’t the movie industry try again with female superheroes? The old saying goes, “if at first you don’t succeed: try, try, again”, not “don’t even bother trying again ever!”

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Dark Stallion And MLP/SU Recaps

A few announcements concerning my blog:

Major Hiatus Until September

Most of my main features (excluding Statist and Anarchist) will be held on hiatus until September. Basically, it’s to give me free time during the remainder of the summer so that I can catch up on other things.

Pony and SU Recaps

With that free time, I will be catching up with my Pony and SU Recaps. Now seems like the ideal time, as SU won’t start airing new episodes until next month, and MLP until later this year.

I’m going to focus mostly on SU with the new eps from the previous two Steven Bombs. As for MLP, I’m going to write full recaps only for “Amending Fences” and “Do Princesses Dream of Electric Sheep” as they are the most noteworthy in my opinion. Every other episode will receive a shorter mini-cap with a brief summary of my initial thoughts on them. The reason for that is that most of those episodes SUCKED and aren’t worth my time.

The Dark Stallion

Its been four whole months since I uploaded my most recent chapter for The Dark Stallion fanfic. I’m currently writing the next chapter, which I hope to release before the end of the month. I will have a preview tomorrow.

This fanfiction is something I’ve been wanting to complete for a long time, and now I plan on buckling down on it to see it completed. I expect to have it finished before the end of the year, though not guarantees can be made.

Also, I plan on uploading the remaining chapters to both my FimFicton and FanFiction accounts, as it’s been a while since I uploaded my chapters to either. I plan to upload chapters every Saturday. Here is the tentative schedule for those accounts:

08/12: Episode 05: I Can Be Strong. Train Me, Ninja Star.
08/15: Episode 06: Do I Wish To Remember? Searching For Sky Wind’s Lost Memories.
08/22: Episode 07: At Last, The Amulet Of Purity Located!
08/29: Episode 08: To The Grand Galloping Gala, Night Of Wonder!
09/05: Episode 09: The Gala Crashed! Princesses In Peril!
09/12: Episode 10: The Dark Stallion Returns! Elements of Harmony Unite.
09/21: Episode 11: Rescue From The Everfree Forest, Or The Escape From It?

SU Recap: Keeping It Together


If you thought Frybo was the scariest thing so far in the show, then this episode is sure to keep you awake at night with nightmare fuel. This episode gives us a bit more insight into the concept of fusion, not only as it applies to the Crystal Gems, but how its being applied by Homeworld Gems, and the resulting images are sure to be haunting your nightmares for weeks to come. What exactly are these Frankenstein experiments being conducted by Homeworld leading to? We'll just have to wait and see.

Friday, August 7, 2015

TTN2GTFO #6691: Adam Sandler Films


(The following is a cross-post from my new Tumblr blog, "Things In America That Need To GTFO". Please visit and follow it for more posts like this.)

If you were remotely shocked that Adam Sandler’s Pixels was a box office flop, then congratulations on never having watched any of his previous films!

If Pixels is best described as “advanced scrotal cancer”, it’s only because Happy Madison Productions is a nuclear waste dump so radioactive that merely approaching it within a 10-mile radius in a double-layered lead suit is enough to give anyone a fatal case of lymphoma.

With the exception of Happy Gilmore, Adam Sandler has rarely, if ever, starred in a funny movie, and the reason for that is because, quite simply, the man isn’t funny. (For the record, this is all personal opinion, but a cursory glance of his Rotten Tomatoes profile makes it a justifiable opinion!)

Sandler’s brand of comedy consists mostly of him acting like a spastic man child spouting enough profanity, sexual innuendo, and poop jokes to easily amuse audience-goers whose sense of humor hasn’t matured past middle school—and the sad fact that his movies generate enough profit to justify making more of them says a lot about most average audience-goers!

That’s not to say that his brand of comedy is impossible to pull off well. Jim Carrey built a successful career (at least in the 1990s) doing just that. However, the reason why Carrey remains a childhood icon and Sandler remains an icon for bad comedy is that, unlike Sandler, Carrey manages to exercise at least some restraint with his antics, while Sandler is as restrained as a bull in a china shop—no, scratch that trite comparison! He’s as restrained a rabid bulldog let loose in an elementary school playground!

Carrey may have acted the weirdo in his movies, but at least he had the discretion to know when to let loose on the weirdness and when to keep it restrained—though how well he can maintain that restraint nowadays seems to come into question considering that he considers measles vaccines to be a greater threat to children that, well, measles itself!

Sandler, on the other hand, pretty much puts his spastic weirdness on full autopilot as soon as the camera starts rolling in a futile attempt to illicit even the slightest giggle. Again, this level of restraint (or lack thereof) is why Ace Ventura and The Mask remain childhood classics while Jack and Jill and Eight Crazy Nights remain in the bargain bin (an even then, they’re overpriced!)

The only solace from his recent failure is that his next failed film won’t have the flashy special effects and classic video game nostalgia into fooling potential moviegoers into thinking it will be a remotely good movie.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

GOP Debate Live Tweet Tonite (Maybe?)


The very first spectacle of big government, big spender Democrats pretending to be small government, fiscally conservative Republicans will be tonight at 9pm on Fox News.

The bad news is that I don't have cable, and I would need a subscription to watch it on-line. I may be able to listen to the debate on the radio, and if that's the case, I may be live-tweeting the debate on my Twitter feed. Feel free to tune in just in case I decide to go along with it. (Of course, without Ron Paul or Gary Johnson, it seems like the entire candidate pool is filled with unchecked neocon crazy!)

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The Top 5 Ways Jon Stewart Was Full of Sh*t

Tomorrow will be the very last Daily Show hosted by Jon Stewart. The man has always been a mixed bag for me. He had his hits, but he also had his misses. ReasonTV lists the fives times he missed by a long shot:

TTNTGTFO #0835: Internet Manbabies Upset Over The Ghostbusters Remake


This is a cross-post from my new "Things In America That Need To Go" Tumblr blog. For more posts such as this, follow me on Tumblr.

Can we at least wait until the movie has been released before we start lobbing rotten tomatoes at it? We don’t even have a teaser or a trailer yet. We only have a cast photo. That’s it! And yet somehow that’s reason enough for insecure man children to throw a collective temper tantrum over how the remake has “ruined” Ghostbusters.

Really?


Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Epic Rap Battle: Jim Henson Vs. Stan Lee

This isn't my newest favorite Epic Rap Battle of History, but it does make my top ten list--maybe even top five! Neither Henson or Lee had a single bad bone in their body, so a rap battle seems almost out of character for either of them--which makes the second half of the video even more shocking, if not hilarious!

Monday, August 3, 2015

Sexist Air Conditioners Broke My Brain


Many of you have probably been wondering why I haven’t been writing any blog posts lately. The reasons are many, but one main reason is that, sometimes, I just don’t know what to say about recent news stories. It’s one thing when the story’s a recurring trend like police brutality (how many times can you say "this is intolerable and we should do something about it"?), but it’s quite another when it’s about something so stupid that words fail me.

Take, for instance, the title of the following op-ed piece: “Air conditioning in your office is sexist”.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

TTN2GTFO #4788: Princess Palace Pets


(This is a cross-post from my new "Things In America That Need To GTFO" blog. To view more posts like this, feel free to follow it on Tumblr.)

Do I even have to tell you I love Disney? As far as I’m concerned, there are only two kinds of people in the world: people who love Disney, and people who pretend not to love it. We all love Disney. You love it. I love it. And I’m more than willing to shut up and give Disney my money for almost anything.

Well, almost.

As much as I love this company that helped shaped my and every other person’s childhood, I’m not going to deny when the “Mouse House” is obviously shilling out crap for an easy cash grab. Case in point: “Princess Palace Pets”.

I’m not going to pretend to wonder why this blatant toy line ripoff exists: Disney saw that Hasbro was making money off of its “Littlest Pet Shop” toy line, decided it wanted to make the same money, and decided to do that by making its own small pet toy line. What’s next? Is Disney going to rip off “Ever After High” making its own dolls with the kids of the Disney villains? (Wait? It actually did that? WTF?!)

So aside from the fact that this toy line is ripping off a much better one, what else about “Princess Palace Pets” reeks of stupid?

How about the fact that most of these pets look creepily similar to their owners? Treasure looks like Ariel. Teacup looks like Belle. Lapis looks like Jasmine. Summer looks like Rapunzel. What? Did Disney just take DNA samples of their princesses and splice them with animals in order to breed these bizarre look-alikes?

And when the pets don’t have an eerie resemblance to their owners, they bear a resemblance to other similar animal characters. Aside from looking like Belle, doesn’t Teacup also bear a strong resemblance to Lady from “Lady and the Tramp”? Doesn’t Gleam look like Bambi’s gay rainbow clone. And take a good look at Petite with her yellow fur and long pink mane and tell me she doesn’t look like Fluttershy from “My Little Pony.” The only thing missing is the wings. Hasbro should at least file a copyright suit over that!

But the major reason why this toy line is so blatantly stupid is the fact that most of these princesses already had pets to begin with. Why does Mulan need a panda when she had a cricket and a horse? Why did Snow White need a bunny rabbit when she already had a plethora of animal friends? Why did Rapunzel need a horse when she has a chameleon—and another horse!

Jasmine already had a pet tiger. Pocahontas already had a pet raccoon. Cinderella already had a dog. Why did she need another one? Did Disney think she needed a puppy that was more “marketable”? Did all of the Disney Princesses have their old pets taken away so that they could be replaced with ones that could have toys made after them? Celestia only know how that happened!

***

(Cinderella sits in a room petting her dog, Bruno, while being addressed by the Grand Duke.)

Grand Duke: How are you adapting to your new life as a princess, my dear?

Cinderella: Oh, I love it very much, much more than my old life slaving away for my step-family.

Duke: Good. There’s just one thing: in order to keep up appearances, the royal family has decided that you should have a new dog, one that’s more becoming of a princess—and one that’s much more marketable!

Cinderella: Uh, oh, that’s okay. You don’t have to get me a new dog. I have Bruno.

Duke: Yes, but wouldn’t you rather have a cuter, younger puppy like this one? (shows her Pumpkin.)

Cinderella: (shaking her head) Um, I'm pretty sure I love Bruno. He was there for me during the rough patch in my life with my stepmother and step sis—

Duke: (pulls out gun and shoots Bruno dead) Oh, look at that! He went the way of Old Yeller! Now you have to love Pumpkin here!

Cinderella: (saddened) Oh no! Poor Bruno!

Duke: You care nothing for him. You love Pumpkin now.

Cinderella: (sobbing) I don't want to!

Duke: (forcefully grabs Cinderella and pushes Pumpkin at her) You will love Pumpkin. YOU WILL LOVE HER!!!

***

Wow. I was in a dark place when I copied that off of the Nostalgia Critic. Palace Pets will do that to you. Tell me that’s not what exactly happened with the other Disney Princesses and their less marketable pets!

Saturday, August 1, 2015

New Tumblr Blog



I've launched a new Tumblr blog called "Things In America That Need 2 GTFO"! This is a 100% original blog about a 100% original concept: complaining on the internet about things I don’t like! (Okay, so it’s not exactly original. Sue me!)

Anyway, as the title suggests, this blog is a catalog of microaggressions, pet peeves, and first world problems that make living in the “best country on earth” not so great. And as you can tell from the tone of this description, this blog will be completely tongue-in-cheek with hyperbole and comedic exaggeration! As such, don’t take it too seriously, because if you take life too seriously, your head will explode! (This is why I complain: to prevent my own head from exploding!)

Anyway, if you want to join in my internet catharsis and hear about everything that get under my skin and irritate me to no end, then click here and follow my blog. Otherwise, do as the title says and "GTFO!"