Nuggets of Wisdom

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Batman V Superman: Worst. Movie. Ever.


If my dog took a fresh dump after having previously binged on five-day-old garbage, the diverse contents of which ranged from a loaded diaper from a baby suffering from chronic diarrhea to the moldy leftover remains of month-old tuna casserole thawed from the freezer-burned recesses of my fridge, I don’t need to pick that s*** up and plop it into my mouth to know that it tastes awful.

I haven’t seen Batman V Superman. I don’t plan on seeing it. And I don’t need to see it to know that it’s a steaming pile of dog s***! Man of Steel was awful enough on its own, so why should I expect anything better from its crossover sequel?

The movie has only been out for a few days, and the fresh turd has already been torn a new one, with a 32 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and with many critics claiming that it’s “not as bad as Bush v. Gore, but close.” Ouch!

But perhaps the best new ass****-tearing has come from Moviebob. He verbosely decimated Pixels in his famous review last year, and this review of BvS seems to be taking its place as his best review of a bad movie for 2015. (At least in my opinion!)