Nuggets of Wisdom

Friday, April 1, 2016

I’m A Feminist Now (Because Rationality Is Oppressive)


Everyone, I have big news. This will be good news for me, but not-so-good news for you all. After many years of berating feminism and social justice here on my blog, I have made the bold decision to drink the SJW Kool-Aid, trade my fedora in for a pair of pink panties, and become a self-hating male ally for feminist social justice. You may consider this decision to be quite irrational—and it is!—but that doesn’t matters. Because as I recently learned, it’s actually quite irrational to demand rationalism in social justice.

My transformation from a fedora-wearing neckbeard into a white knighting mangina came about after I read a most compelling intellectual piece on Everyday Feminism explaining that our concept of “rationality” is nothing more than an oppressive social construct by the "white supremacist patriarchy" in order to oppress people who are not white cishetero males like myself.

Yes, it turns out that our "Eurocentric concept" of the scientific method based upon rational thought and empirical evidence is not a tool used to better understand the real world, and by doing so, make it a better place. In fact, “being rational has no inherent value” whatsoever, and “rationalism is a tool made to harm us”—and of course, by “us”, I mean people who are not white cishetero males like myself. Indeed, “we are enough without rationalism.” We don’t need inconvenient concepts such as logic, reason, and evidence to guide our beliefs: all we need are our feelings. After all, as The Care Bears Movie once proudly proclaimed, “trust your feelings, it’s not bad, [because] feelings are just you." If you can’t trust yourself, who can you trust?

So upon stumbling upon this most euphoric revelation, I have experienced quite the radical transformation like that of Paul on the Road to Damascus. No longer will I snicker and point at the radical feminazis. Now I will proudly join them as a castrated beta male ally. And now I urge you all to do likewise.

Forget facts. Just trust your feelings. Listen and believe. Join me, and we can bring about a true egalitarian utopia where we are free from the shackles of our white cishetero oppressors like myself. We have nothing to lose but out chains. F*** whitey! Kill all men! Die cis scum! Check your privilege! Feel the Bern! Smash the patriarchy! And every other feminazi SJW platitude ever! Rational thought is dead. Long live feelings. Long live feelings!

Oh, and before you take this remotely seriously, remember what day it is! :D