Nuggets of Wisdom

Monday, October 3, 2016

Nightly Frights: Wonderful Sausage

Yet another wonderful selection from Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark. And wonderfully enough, it’s entitled "Wonderful Sausage." This wonderful story offers wonderful advice to all married men out there who had there personal information leaked from Ashley Madison.

I’d say this story would turn anyone into a vegan, but I’ve read it many times and I still have an appetite for meat. Is it weird if you crave a hot dog after reading this? Just asking.

Many years ago, in New Orleans, there was a German man named Hans Muller who owned a sausage factory. The couple were very hard-working, but Muller was growing tired of his wife. She had become old and wrinkled before her time and he no longer found her attractive. He started having an affair with a younger woman.

One dark night, Hans Muller had an argument with his wife. He lost his temper and killed her, stuffing her body into the big meat grinder in the factory. Then he ground her up into sausage meat until nothing of her was left. To keep his evil deed a secret, he told everyone that his wife had left town.

>Muller mixed his new sausage meat with ground pork and then seasoned it with salt and pepper. He added some sage and thyme and a bit of garlic and, to give it a special flavor, he smoked it in his smokehouse for a while. He called his recipe "Muller's Wonderful Sausage" and sold it as a delicacy.

There was such a demand for this wonderful sausage that Muller was sold out before he knew it. He started keeping an eye out for people who he could turn into tasty sausage meat.