Nuggets of Wisdom

Friday, October 28, 2016

Millennial Morons Think Socialism's Kewl!


Never a day goes by when I don’t hear my fellow millennials say or do things that make me embarrassed and ashamed to be within the same demographic as them.

Case in point, while the socialist government of Venezuela has collapsed to the point where its citizens are forced to butcher zoo animals for food, many of my fellow millennials—many of whom probably sip Starbucks coffee and text on their iPhones within the comforts of their first-world capitalist country—have warmed up to the “good idea” of socialism:

Monday, October 24, 2016

Nightly Frights: The Trick


The infamous Evangelical cartoonist Jack T. Chick recently passed away, so I decided now more than ever would be an opportune time to share his work.

As easy as it is to harp on his comics (and there are plenty of YouTube channels that make a living doing just that), I really do have a soft spot for them. I always loved reading these comics as a kid, and even to this day I appreciate the creepy art style. It’s almost like one of those 1950s horror comics.

But while I don’t really have a problem with a tracts that evangelize the Gospel, the ones that carry a socio-political messages tend to be quite iffy, even when enjoying them ironically. These comics are infamous for riding many a fear train, the most infamous being the role-playing hysteria.

This comic plays off of another unfounded fear: poison Halloween candy. Contrary to popular fearmongering, Halloween candy barely contains any razor blades or tainted syringes or anything else that isn’t caramel nougat. However, according to Jack Chick, not only is Halloween candy full of metal, it’s been cursed by witches in order to sacrifice your children to Satan.

I’m not making that up. And unfortunately, it seems like I'm unable to actually share the comic's images here on this blog, so you'll have to go to the actual page to view it.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Vote Yes On Amendment Two


Colorado legalized recreational marijuana use in 2012. Four years later, violent crime, traffic fatalities, and drug-related arrests have decreased, while job growth and tax revenue, especially for schools and social programs, have increased.

Obviously, the main difference between Colorado and Florida is that Colorado legalized marijuana for recreational use while Florida only wants to legalize medical marijuana. Of course, if recreational pot didn't harm Colorado, what harm could come from medical pot in Florida?

Vote "yes" on Amendment Two this November if you agree that Florida should follow Colorado's example.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Nintendo NX Now Nintendo Switch


How appropriate does it seem that Nintendo’s big announcement arrived the day after the final presidential debate? It’s almost as if Miyamoto knew that we Americans would be bummed out by the prospect of either the wild orangutan or albino Wicked Witch becoming our next president, so he decided to cheer us up and give us something positive to look forward to by announcing his company’s next console. And, boy, was it the cheering up that we the internet needed!

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Nightly Frights: Happy Sun Daycare


As with motels, before sending your children to a daycare you’ve never heard of, always check the Yelp reviews to ensure there haven’t been any negative experiences with it—like, for example, children being forced into a room with a giant violent dog that attacks and bites them:

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Nightly Frights: The Curse


Once again for Nightly Frights, I’m showcasing selections from that most nightmare-inducing of all book, Scary Stories To Tell In the Dark. And how apropos is it that this year it’s been announced that the book will be adapted into a movie by the ever talented Guillermo del Toro? Will it be an epic homage like Creepshow was to EC Comics? Or will it be a shamelessly comedic flop like Goosebumps? Only time will tell.

For now, let’s focus on this evening’s selection: "The Curse." Just how much would you accept to stay in a haunted house overnight? Would you do it for a Klondike bar? Well, in this story, the protagonist does it on a simple dare as a fraternal initiation. The outcome is what you’d come to expect from a story such as this:

Monday, October 10, 2016

VGM Monday: Music Box


All this month for Halloween, I’m dedicating VGM Monday to scary video game music. And this night’s selection, while not scary on its own, certainly has a chilling vibe when you consider what game it comes from.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Leaving Their Own Legacies


Within the past eight years, Mark Zuckerberg donated 99 percent of his Facebook shares to charity and has created plans to provide free internet access to developing countries through innovative technology.

Within the past eight years, Elon Musk developed more affordable solar panels and electric cars, designed a revolutionary new form of transportation, and revitalized the space program with plans to send humans to Mars.

Within the past eight years, Barack Obama has launched more drones, bombed more countries, deported more immigrants, and prosecuted more whistleblowers than the previous guy, and plans on leaving the country with more than $20 trillion in debt in the slowest economic recovery of all time.

Remind me again why libtards hate Silicon Valley but want to give Obama a third term?

Friday, October 7, 2016

Fan Art Fright-Days: Gravity Falls


All this month, I will be dedicating my Fan Art Fridays to Blame The Fright month. First up is a showcase of fan art from a recent beloved classic that is gone but not forgotten: Gravity Falls. (On a related note: does anyone else love Nostalgia Critic's awesome new Nostalgia-ween intro?)

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Hurricane Matthew Update

As most of you know, Hurricane Matthew is making its way along the East Coast, especially Florida where I live. Fortunately, I live in an area where we won't be receiving the full Category 4 storm, but we will be experiencing heavy rain and winds. As such, I won’t be posting anything tomorrow. I should resume by Saturday if our electricity doesn’t get knocked out. If that’s the case, I should resume whenever.

Nightly Frights: Stay In Bed


Before you check into a hotel that you’ve never been to before, always make sure to check the Yelp reviews to make sure there haven’t been any reports of anything less than desirable: cockroaches, water stains, the ghosts of murder victims that wander the halls and force the hotel to enforce a strict curfew:

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Nightly Frights: The Trick


As with most every Halloween, I’m highlighting at least one selection from the most insidious of horrors: Evangelical propaganda!

As easy as it is to harp on these comics (and there are plenty of YouTube channels that make a living doing just that), I really do have a soft spot for them. I always loved reading these comics as a kid, and even to this day I appreciate the creepy art style. They're like those 1950s horror comics.

But while I don’t really have a problem with the tracts that evangelize the Gospel, the ones that carry a socio-political messages tend to be quite iffy, even when enjoying them ironically. These comics are infamous for riding many a fear train, the most infamous being the role-playing hysteria.

This comic plays off of another unfounded fear: poison Halloween candy. Contrary to popular fear-mongering, Halloween candy barely contains any razor blades or tainted syringes or anything else that isn’t caramel nougat. However, according to Jack Chick, not only is Halloween candy full of metal, it’s been cursed by witches in order to sacrifice your children to Satan.

I’m not making that up:

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Nightly Frights: Molly The Dolly


You know, the more that I think about it, dolls are the creepiest toys ever. Small humanoid figures with blank unblinking eyes and obviously fake grins? Thanks, but no thanks. Those are the products of nightmares!

So it’s no wonder that so many scary stories, especially creepypasta, are about living dolls. Take tonight’s tale about "Molly the Dolly". It’s a story that will make you think twice about buying a doll for a little girl’s birthday. It may be the last one you give her.

Monday, October 3, 2016

VGM Monday: Endless Stairs


All throughout October, as with last year, I will be dedicating this month's VGM Monday to showcasing spooky video game music. Let's start off with an innocent enough game: Super Mario 64.

So you reach the top level of the castle and approach the door leading to Bowser. The door says you need 70 stars to pass through. However, despite this, you pass through the door easily enough. You figure you can proceed anyway and approach the stairs. That's when this happens:

Nightly Frights: Wonderful Sausage


Yet another wonderful selection from Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark. And wonderfully enough, it’s entitled "Wonderful Sausage." This wonderful story offers wonderful advice to all married men out there who had there personal information leaked from Ashley Madison.

I’d say this story would turn anyone into a vegan, but I’ve read it many times and I still have an appetite for meat. Is it weird if you crave a hot dog after reading this? Just asking.

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Disney Sunday (10/02/2016)


It's been a while since I've posted one of these. I think for now on, I'll be using Disney Sunday to highlight Disney-related news and other neat items while offering my thoughts on them. So here's what I have to think about this week in Disney:

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Nightly Frights: Some Jerk Bizzaro Commentary


As with most Blame The Fright months, I’m starting this month off with something silly rather than spooky. And what could be sillier than Some Jerk With A Camera?

I’m sure you’re familiar with the theme park reviewer and his most irreverent of reviews. And I’m also sure you’re familiar with one of his earliest reviews on Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party.

What you’re probably not as familiar with is his bizzaro commentary on that review. Most other commentaries have the creator offering boring comments on his creation. With his “bizzaro” commentary, Some Jerk completely dubs over his review with the most irreverent of humor that would give Bad Lip Readings a run for its money.

It’s as hilarious as you would come to expect from the guy. So give it a watch and have a good laugh: