Nuggets of Wisdom

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Wonder Woman Will Probably Suck

I wish I were more excited about the new Wonder Woman movie being released next month. On the one hand, this is the first movie ever created starring the Amazonian warrior, which is especially refreshing after tons of movies have already been made about male superheroes such as Batman, Superman, and Spider-man. So it ought to be a momentous occasion that the most famous super heroine finally gets her own theatrical release.

On the other hand, the movie is being created by the same studio that gave us box office blunders such as Man of Steel, Batman v. Superman, and Suicide Squad. Considering how “well” those movies turned out doesn’t offer much hope that the first ever Wonder Woman movie will fare any better. So like the rest of the installments in the “I Can’t Believe This Isn’t the MCU!”, this movie probably won’t do well either.

But really, I’m not so much worried about the movie itself, per say, as I am about the inevitable backlash that will be created by its implosion, specifically the backlash from feminists—and if last year’s internet dumpster fire surrounding the Ghostbusters reboot is any indicator, the backlash will not be pretty. Be prepared to see "sexist" and "misogynist" lobbed at critics who pan the film.

Right now, feminist SJWs have already set up their scapegoat for the movie’s inevitable failure, as feminist rags such as The Mary Sue are spreading a conspiracy theory that Warner Bros. is intentionally holding back on advertising and marketing for the film in an effort to deliberately sabotage it and use its failure as “proof” that female-led superhero movies are not profitable.

And like every other internet conspiracy, this one about “teh patriarchy” sabotaging the film is complete and utter BS! If anything, Warner Bros. has spent more money on advertising for Wonder Woman than it did for Suicide Squad.

Let’s set things straight: if Wonder Woman bombs at the box office, it won’t be because of lack of promotion. It won’t be because "teh patriarchy” is trying to sabotage it. And it certainly won’t be because female-led movies don’t profit. It will be because the movie was created by the same people who gave us Batman v. Superman.

On the plus side, the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie comes out later this week. Ooga-chaka, Ooga-Ooga! Ooga-chaka, Ooga-Ooga!